From Hell We Came
by ActionBitch
Summary: Kagome starts watching a TV show, starring two popular American teens, who are worshipped by the young and resented by the old. The two teens find a way to the past, can they screw up people's lives and return before their first Tokyo show? Yes they can.
1. Chapter 1

In The News Today

Kagome sighed as she, once again, sat in her math class, suffering through each minute that seemed to crawl by so agonizingly slowly. She tapped her pencil on her notebook, each tap leaving a small dot on her paper. She then began scribbling down the new set of notes her teacher had just written on the board as he gave out the homework assignment.

"Oh great," Kagome groaned. Another homework assignment slapped onto the already huge stack of assignments she had to do. The bell rang and everyone stood up quickly, filing out of the classroom slowly.

"Oh yeah, I watched it! They're hilarious, and that chick is hot!" a boy laughed with his friends as everyone crowded down the hallway. Kagome heard him, but she was too deep in thought about her homework that she didn't care to know who he was talking about. She sighed as she walked home, she heard Hojo chatting to her lightly, not noticing her dilemma right away.

"Hey Kagome, have you watched it?" a voice asked, breaking through Kagome's worried thoughts.

"Um, watched what?" Kagome asked back curiously.

"News From Hell." Hojo replied.

"That's a show? When did it start playing?" Kagome asked.

"Oh wow, you've never seen it? For someone who's sick, I thought you'd watch TV."

"No, I usually sleep."

"Oh, well, it's this really funny live TV show from America,"

"Why is it playing in Japan?"

"I don't know, but it's really funny. It's these four teenagers, a little older than us, talking about what's going on in the world. It's kind of dark, but I think it's funny."

"When does it come on? I need to start practicing my English anyway, I'm so failing that class right now." Kagome replied with a whine.

"Oh yeah, it plays in Japanese too, but it comes on every night at nine."

"What channel?"

"The news channel. You should check it out, Kagome."

"I am. Maybe I can gather some quotes for English."

"Haha, that's what I usually use. A TV show or some video off the Internet."

"I never really thought about that. Well, bye Hojo." Kagome called, walking up the steps to her home.

"Bye Kagome! See you later!" Hojo called back.

Kagome entered her house, running straight upstairs to start on her homework. She ripped her books out of her bag, opened her notebooks, and began scribbling down her answers. She was amazed at how much she actually knew as she went through each question.

"I guess I'm not so clueless after all, these aren't too bad." She said to herself, hearing a happy purr as her cat, Buyo, rubbed against her leg affectionately. She looked down and petted his head lightly before returning to her work. She decided to leave her English for last, since the show didn't come on for a few hours and she also had an American novel somewhere in her room to grab a quote or two from.

"It's probably some stupid show where they make ignorant comments." Kagome sighed to herself, finishing up her math before pulling out her history book.

After she finished as much as she could, Kagome went downstairs and ate dinner with her family. She smiled and listened to everyone's stories before dismissing herself from the table to go take a well-deserved bath. She realized it was almost nine, so she hurriedly dried her hair, threw her pajamas on and ran downstairs with her notebook.

"What's the hurry, Kagome?" her little brother asked curiously.

"I have collect some quotes," Kagome replied, changing the channel she knew it was the show just by the intro. It was a fiery Hell theme with a heavy metal song blasting. The intro was showing the faces of widely known people that no one likes, arrows flying through their foreheads as they ignited in flames, and slowly leading up the mountain of Hell. Once at the top, it showed the two hosts, both looking only slightly older than Kagome herself.

"Oh, I know this show, it's funny." Sota chirped.

"So I've heard. I have to set it in English, buddy. Sorry." Kagome replied, using the remote to mess around with the languages.

"You know, things like this really grind my gears," the girl on TV chirped. She looked utterly demonic. She had hair that was cut short to long, making her hair look like birds' wings resting on either side of her head with her bangs parted over to the side. Her hair was dyed black and the ends of her hair and bangs were crimson red. She also had black eyeliner around her eyes, which were oddly colored.

"Ew, what's wrong with your eyes?" a boy interrupted.

"They're zombie contacts, shut up. Anyway, I got a letter from a parent yesterday. She was utterly pissed with me." The girl said with a smile, a lip ring in the right side of her lip.

"Oooh!" the other three hosts cooed.

"Yeah, she said she didn't appreciate the content of my show, where her FIVE YEAR OLD learned phrases like, "Suck it," "Piss off" and what not. Well, lady, I've got five words for you! Suck it and piss off!" the girl said sternly, slamming her fist down on the table.

"Haha, uh oh, spaghetti-o's!" the boy host laughed. Kagome smiled too, so she wrote that quote down.

"I'm glad that someone agrees with me, thank you!" the girl said to the crowd, which had started clapping for her.

"I mean, why is she letting her five year old watch this show anyway?" The boy host, who had his name written on his shirt, said. His name was Derek and he had a black shirt with his name in red on, along with studded wristbands. He had long, scraggly black hair and his eyes were a dark brown.

"Exactly! Ma'am, there is a parental warning on before she show even starts. I have some parenting advice for you, lady! Turn the TV off! Set parental controls! Or better yet, yank that TV out of his room and quitting letting the TV babysit him! Why don't you spend time with him yourself instead of making me do the work! I'm not perfect!" The girl, Kimberly, or better known as "Kimbo" to her friends, shouted as the crowd began hooting and hollering and clapping. Kagome nodded and wrote that one down. It was true; the parents should watch what their kids are doing.

"For real." Derek laughed.

"Anyway, in today's news in America, George W. Bush's nephew, George P. Bush, announced that he plans on running for the presidency in the future." Kim said. She cocked an eyebrow and looked up, her facing saying everything. What the Hell? The crowd snorted and cackled.

"So, let me get this straight, George W. Bush, son of George H. W. Bush, has a nephew, George P. Bush, who wants to run for the presidency in the future?" Derek repeated slowly, everyone laughing.

"Yup." Kim chirped, throwing the paper down on the desk.

"What the Hell? He is not going to win with that name, let me tell you!" Derek stated as he laughed.

"Haha, word! I think America is done with the George Bush fad."

"Eh, it could be retro in the future."

"Have we gone retro with slavery? No! Has Germany gone retro with the Holocaust and Sauerkraut Patrol? No! Bad things tend not to go retro!"

"Yeah, they have. I mean, not super bad things like the Holocaust or slavery, but other bad things liiiiiike…" Derek looked up, trying to think of something.

"Super teased hair from the eighties making its way back," Kim stated with a sigh.

"Haha, yeah, that's bad. I hate it when I see a fine girl and her hair looks like a f------ bird flew up there and was like, "Wooola, wooola, caw, caw, caw, caw!" I mean it looks disgusting!" Derek shouted, his cursing being bleeped out as he flapped his arms frantically as Kim began convulsing as she laughed at him.

"Hahaha! What bird makes that noise?" Kim asked him, wiping tears from her eyes.

"My bird!" Derek shouted defensively.

"Alright, so in other news, I guess my show has been playing in Japan for about a week now and my ratings have gone up dramatically. Thank you, Japan! You love me, you really love," Kim began.

"Sorry Kimbo, I really love you and all, but just have to say this really quick and then I'm going to let you finish…Beyonce had one of the best videos of all damn time!" Derek interrupted as Kim punched his arm.

"Shut up, Kanye!" Kim shouted.

"Haha, I'm sorry!"

"Anyway, so I'm coming to Japan in a week to do a few shows, meet a few people, break s---, you know me." Kim said, putting down another card and looking over into another camera, which zoomed up on her dramatically.

"Me, Japan, one week! I shall now send you subliminal messages! If you are prone to seizures, turn your head!" Kim shouted into the camera. Kagome giggled as the screen started flashing different colors and the message, "Buy my tickets, see my show," began popping up and flashing away quickly. It almost gave Kagome a headache, but it was funny.

"Oh wow, I feel really sick, dude," Derek groaned, rubbing his stomach.

"Haha, so please, buy my tickets and see my show, it'll be worth it! I promise! And now we go to commercial…after DJ Fook-Head plays loud nasty music into your eardrums! Ahhhh!" Kim shouted, as the stage lights began flashing, the camera flying in the air and aiming at the DJ, who began mixing and playing a thrash metal song. The camera switched over to Derek and Kim banging their heads wildly, then it cut to commercial.

"Oh wow, they're…energetic?" Kagome finally spoke, finishing up a few more quotes and looking at Sota.

"I like Kimbo! She's cool!" Sota replied as he petted Buyo softly.

The next day, Kagome decided to return to the Feudal Era afterschool. It had been four days and Inuyasha, oddly, had not come to fetch her. She leapt down the well, smiling happily and with excitement. She was going to see her friends.

Over the course of the week, Kagome finally found the perfect balance of school and Feudal Era adventures. She would go to school, do her work, get home, and go back in time for a while, come back home, watch News From Hell, and go to bed. Then wake up the next day, and do it all again. Kagome was now able to talk to her friends with a true smile, and mostly they talked about who Kimbo and Derek smashed on the night before. They even talked about getting tickets to one of her shows. The first three shows were supposed to be in Tokyo, then she moved north, then to the south, then she goes back to America. Kagome listened to her friends talk about Kim, about how smart she was, even though she put on the "Loud, Ignorant American," front.

"Bye Mom, I'm leaving for school!" Kagome called out, running outside with her backpack.

"Hey stupid, why didn't you come visit yesterday?" a familiar growl came. Kagome saw Inuyasha walk up to her, his blue hat covering his furry dog-ears. He had his arms crossed and a pout on his face.

"Oh, because I was in a study group for my tests." Kagome said, half telling the truth. The whole truth was that they got together at one of her friends' house and watched News From Hell on their huge TV while they snacked on random foods. Kagome was never into TV, but the show was addicting for some odd reason.

"Whatever. I'll walk you to school myself." Inuyasha grumbled, acting like it bothered him. Kagome smiled as she began walking down the steps.

"So, do you think Naraku is dead? We haven't seen him for who knows how long." Kagome stated.

"No, he's not dead. I know it. I just wish I could find the bastard." Inuyasha growled, seeing another person dressed in a red sweatshirt heading his way. The person had the hood up and sunglasses on. Inuyasha felt them bump into his arm abruptly.

"Hey! What the hell's your problem?" Inuyasha barked as the person turned around.

"Do you want some of this, dog-boy?" the girl asked back, her voice striking Kagome hard. Kagome pointed at her boldly.

"Kimbo!" Kagome shouted excitedly as the girl held her hands up.

"Shhh! Shhh! Don't say that!" Kim hissed, putting her hand over Kagome's mouth and kicking Inuyasha in the knee to stop him from grabbing her.

"I'm sorry, but I love your show!" Kagome whispered.

"Don't whisper either. Act like I'm not famous. And thanks, I love Japan." Kim said back, looking around cautiously.

"What're you doing here?" Kagome asked.

"My show starts here tomorrow. I'm just out on my own time, buuuuuut I forgot people love and hate me, so I kind of got mobbed. Now I'm here." Kim explained with a nervous laugh.

"Oh, I won't mob you. And sorry about my friend, he's impulsive." Kagome said, hushing Inuyasha quickly.

"Don't worry, the paparazzi in America? Psh, way fucking worse." Kim said back.

"You speak Japanese?"

"Uh, I'm a bit rusty. I started learning when I was younger. My grandma is from Japan, so I'm one-fourth Japanese."

"No, you sound really good. Your accent is a bit off, but you speak it fine."

"Really? Haha, Derek fails at it. He just asked me if I wanted to sacrifice a small goat with him. I had to decline." Kim said calmly, as if it happened everyday. Kagome laughed and realized Inuyasha's growing impatience.

"Well, I have to go to school." Kagome announced.

"Ugh, lame. I'm glad I finished that shit." Kim said.

"You're lucky."

"Eh, it's your lucky day. Want free tickets to my show?"

"Oh my…yes! How many can I have?"

"How many do you want?"

"Um, six! Six please!" Kagome begged.

"Ok, um, when do you get out of school?"

"Five?"

"Meet me here at six. I'll have the tickets."

"Holy shit! It's Kimbo! I found her!" someone shouted.

"Shit! Gotta go! Bye!" Kim laughed, running away. Inuyasha and Kagome watched as she sprinted away, both of them noticing that she was quite fast when there was a huge mob of people chasing her.

"Who the hell was that?" Inuyasha growled as Kagome walked away.

"She's the host of this show I've been watching. She's really funny."

"She's a bitch. Be running into me like that? I don't think so." Inuyasha replied arrogantly.

"Don't lay a hand on her! She's the one who saved me from failing in English!" Kagome threatened Inuyasha darkly.

"I'll slit her throat if she,"

"Sit!"

Kim yawned as she stood against the wall, waiting for Kagome to return. She idly tapped a rhythm with her hand against the brick wall, bobbing her head to the music playing in her headphones from her iPod. She was a huge Alice Cooper fan. She was listening to 'Feed My Frankenstein" by Alice Cooper, smiling to herself.

"Kim! Come on!" Kagome said eagerly, motioning for the girl to follow. Kim followed her up the long stairs and saw the house and shrine.

"Oh, you live here?" Kim asked. She already knew the answer. Kagome's scent was all over the place. Oops. Yes, Kim was a demon, but years of practice of spells and incantations allowed her to hide that little secret from anyone who could possibly sense it. Kim was not eighteen as people tended to think. She was two hundred eighteen. Actually, she was just two hundred; she added the eighteen on as her own weird joke to herself and true form.

"Mhm. This shrine has been under the care of my family for generations." Kagome explained as Kim nodded, smiling.

"That's cool. I wish I had some cool family history." Kim replied honestly. Again, her family, were demons that killed people. End of family history for Kim.

"I'm sure you have something interesting about your family." Kagome replied, taking off her shoes before walking inside. Kim did the same and frowned when a small kid ran up to her.

"I love you!" he shouted, looking up at her adoringly. Kim waved back.

"Oh, alright kid." Kim said back unsurely.

"Sota, you've never met her! Go away!" Kagome snapped back.

"Haha, it's ok. Hey, go find something and I'll sign it for you." Kim said to Sota, who ran off to his room with speed unmatched.

"You hungry? My mom made enough dinner for everyone." Kagome said.

"Uh, yeah, actually, I'm starving. Maybe I should've sacrificed that goat with Derek after all." Kim replied, following Kagome to the kitchen. Kagome's mother turned around and smiled kindly at Kim.

"My son and daughter adore you so much. I'm glad to finally meet you in person." She said. Kim saw that Kagome was the spitting image of her mother.

"It's nice to know that I have fans who are level-headed and kind like her. Most of my fans want to rip my skin off and wear it. They're crazy." Kim said as Kagome giggled.

"Hey Kagome, is that bitch here?" Inuyasha barked as he entered the kitchen, his hat on his head.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome hissed. Kim smiled.

"I've been called worse d…douche bag." Kim stated quickly. She almost called him "dog-boy" again. That would've been hard to cover up.

"You got a problem?" Inuyasha asked threateningly.

"Look, I don't want to fight. Get out of my face." Kim growled back.

"Here, can you sign my hat? And my baseball bat?" Sota asked, handing her the items and the pen.

"Can I sign your cat, too?" Kim asked seriously as she scribbled her name down.

"No, I don't think Buyo would like that." Sota said back, also in an extremely serious tone.

Kim ate dinner and thanked her hosts very gratefully. It had been so long since she had a nice sit down with a family and ate a full meal, cooked to perfection. Usually she ate out, or ate little snacks, sometimes Kim didn't eat at all. It made her feel fully welcomed to Japan and ready for her first show the next day.

"Good night, and thank you so much for the awesome meal. I really appreciate it." Kim said as she left the house, putting on her shoes and walking away. She quickly hid in the bushes near the steps leading down to the sidewalk.

"Kagome, you have to come right away! I waited for the bitch to leave; now we have to go! We're closing in on Naraku, and I want you to be there!" Inuyasha's frantic voice sounded as he dragged Kagome with him.

"Quit calling her that, and, oh, Inuyasha, wait, I dropped the," Kagome started.

"It's fine! One less fragment he can get! Let's go kick his ass!" Inuyasha said back, carrying her inside the shrine. Kim saw a flash of light, and then, nothing. Kim blinked as she walked inside the shrine.

"Whaaaat the fuck. Where'd they go?" Kim asked, looking around and sniffing around. She received nothing. She looked down the well and frowned as she leapt inside. Nothing.

"Bah humbug. This is some bullshit." Kim growled, effortlessly leaping out of the well, landing soundlessly back at the entrance. She saw an alluring, dark purple flash on the ground. Kim stared at it for a moment.

"Oooh, spaaarkly thing." Kim chirped, picking it up and holding the fragment up in the moonlight to see it sparkle more. She couldn't help it. Sparkly things cut her attention span to that of a two year old child.

"Hey, Kimbo, what's uuuuuup?" Derek shouted as he landed next to her. Kim elbowed him in the stomach sharply.

"Shhh." Kim shot.

"Ow, I'm sorry." He groaned back, rubbing his stomach. He was a demon, too. He and Kim, for the past hundred years, have been stirring up trouble together. They were the best of friends, no matter what.

"This is up." Kim replied, her voice low. Derek's eyes flashed with immediate interest.

"Ooooh, sparkly. What is it?" he asked, leaning in to get a better look.

"No clue. But, there's something up with this shrine. Two people jumped in and disappeared.

"Stand back," Derek said, he got a running start and dove headfirst into the shrine, face plating directly into the side of the well.

"Ahhh! Owww!" he cried out.

"Dumb ass, I meant the well." Kim chuckled as she walked up to him. He rubbed his face and looked at her.

"Why didn't you say "the well?" Jesus Christ, that hurt." He groaned.

"Because, too much effort." Kim replied, tossing the pretty fragment into the well. Derek watched as she held her hands over the well, chanting the language of the Demons lowly as she tried different spells. She then remembered Inuyasha's clothing and reaction to modern technology while at the dinner table. He asked her about her iPod and cell phone, calling them " noisy boxes of metal."

"Time traveling…here, let me try this, and if it doesn't work, we go home, get drunk and go to sleep before tomorrow comes." Kim said to Derek.

"Sounds amazing. And if it works?" he replied.

"Then we're going on a roooooad triiiiiiip!" Kim sang, holding her fist up as Derek bumped it. Kim chanted more words and smirked as the familiar light began glowing from the bottom.

"What do we do now?" Derek asked.

"I think we jump in." Kim said.

"On it!" Derek shouted heroically as he dove in headfirst. Kimi heard him crash at the bottom, crying pitifully in pain.

"Owwww! Ahhhh! Noooo! We do not jump iiiiiiin!" he screamed up at her.

"Oops. Ok, I'll take responsibility for that one. Sorry." Kim said back as he crossed her arms.

"Yeah you better! Goddamn that hurt!" Derek growled. Kim frowned as she thought harder.

"Oh! I forgot the ending! Duh!" Kim stated, slapping her head lightly.

"Good job! Epic fail!" Derek said, leaping back out. She finished the chant and smiled as the entire well began glowing the purplish color. She clapped for herself before smiling at Derek.

"Now we jump in." she said.

"What about the show?"

"What about it? It's my fucking show and I do what I want." Kim replied, leaping in. Derek sighed and leapt in after her, becoming engulfed in the strange light.

"Whoa." Derek said as he jumped out, looking around the darkness at the forest. Kim looked around too and laughed.

"Haha, well now. I guess America will be making an impression early." She stated, catching a familiar scent. She immediately recognized it as Inuyasha, but, there was another scent, familiar, and yet certainly different from his.

"Uh oh, I know that look when I see it…are we going to bum rush someone?" Derek asked with a giggle as Kim began walking towards the scents.

"Haha, of course. There's nothing else to do here." She replied with a chuckle. Boy, was this going to be super fun.


	2. Chapter 2

What's The Weather Going to Be Like

"So, is it me or is Japan's weather kick ass?" Kimbo asked Derek as she set down another card. They made it back in time to swig whiskey and host their show in Japan. Derek nodded in agreement.

"Oh yeah, loving it." Derek replied. He had his face painted like The Joker, his hair died green and a purple pimp suit on. Kim was dressed as Jason, with her hockey mask sprinkled with blood, her machete in her hand, her outfit torn and bloodied, her face painted to look bloodied and torn, too.

"So, if you're wondering why we're dressed like this, in America, it's Halloween! Big D and I live for Halloween, so everyone in the crowd gets candy! Yaaaaay!" Kim cheered, along with the crowd as a man dressed as a killer clown began throwing huge candy bars into the crowd, making sure everyone got at least one, while the lucky ones got multiple bars.

"Hey, Bozo, I want a Crunch bar!" Kim ordered, catching it after the clown tossed it to her.

"Me too! Ow!" Derek groaned when the bar nailed him in the face. The crowd erupted with laughter as the young man sat down, pouting as he glared at the candy bar, as if it hit him on purpose with its own will.

"Haha, hahahaha, fail." Kim said, biting into her candy bar.

"Shut up." Derek growled.

"Anyway, so I guess that everyone has to go to school tomorrow during my second show, that's lame." Kim stated as the crowd agreed with her.

"Super lame!" Derek echoed.

"So tomorrow,"

"Tomorrow!"

"I'm going to be visiting schools all in the city!"

"City, city, city, city, city!" Derek chirped. Kim smiled. Derek had really picked up on the Japanese language quickly, though, he still couldn't speak much, so whenever he started repeating her, that meant he couldn't remember his lines in Japanese. The crowd laughed and giggled, thinking he did it just to annoy Kim.

"And I'm just joking. I'm not allowed to do that. Lameness." Kim growled, taking her machete, which was a real machete, and slamming it down on her candy bar, chopping the rest of it in half. She stuck a piece under her mask and ate a piece.

"Serial killers need their sugar, too. Taking a break, now to DJ Lard Ass for soooooome…HEAVY METAL NOISE! Ahhhh!" Kim shouted as she and Derek began banging their heads, hair flying around wildly.

Kim and Derek quickly ran past people on the street, using their demonic powers to speed by, people thinking they were just a breeze. Had they been running slower, people would've seen The Joker and Jason charging down the street with mischief in mind. Kim pulled out the jewel shard and started chanting her spell as she and Derek dove inside the well. Miles away at school, Kagome sensed it, wondering if it was the one she dropped the other night and never found.

"Haha, dude, Kim, are we seriously trick-or-treating in a village?" Derek asked, deciding to just speak English the whole time.

"Yeah, haha, duh." Kim replied with a smile under her mask. They were sitting up in a tree, relaxing and enjoying the cool weather. Kim stuck a small razor into an apple and smirked at Derek, who chuckled back.

"That's going to hurt." Derek said as Kim accidentally dropped the red fruit. She shrugged, thinking that it wouldn't be found and rot away, but little did she know, it was going to cause her more trouble than she knew.

"Oh, an apple." A small girl said as she picked it up. Kim and Derek stood up on the branch, looking down and seeing the small girl in the orange kimono.

"There, you found some food, now let's go!" a green imp shouted irritably.

"Alright." The small girl replied as she ran off with the imp.

"Oh shit!" Derek whined.

"Mother fuck." Kim growled as she and Derek leapt from the trees, landing in front of the small girl. The little girl looked up at the ripped and bloodied, tall and dark monster with the dirtied and bloodied white mask, its machete held in its hand lazily at its side. She then saw the man with the weird make up, also looking intimidating.

"Ahhhhhhhh! Lord Sesshomaru!" she screamed as she ran away, the green imp shouting for their protector as well.

"Ah, Goddamn it! She just about pierced my eardrums!" Derek groaned as he covered his ears.

"We have more to worry about than that," Kim said, gripping her machete tighter.

"Why?"

"She just sent her guard dog after us." Kim said as the tall white man landed a small distance away from her and Derek.

"Oh, ahaha, funny." Derek chuckled when he realized the demon man was a dog demon. Kim saw the demon man frown, as he looked the two over carefully, still deciding on whether to kill them or not.

"Uh, hi." Kim said in Japanese to catch the demon lord's attention. His golden eyes shifted to her, his face expressionless.

"You are covered in blood, but you do not smell of it." The man said, his only hand slowly gripping around his sword's handle.

"Kimbo, is he,"

"Shh." Kim hushed Derek, both deciding on speaking important things in English.

"It's fake blood, for decoration." Kim said back, her hand tightening around her machete. She saw the small girl behind the demon dog, still holding onto the booby trapped apple.

"Why do you attack helpless little girls? Can you not fight someone more worthy?" the man asked, taking a step forward.

"Why is this chick's voice so deep?" Derek asked, still speaking English. Kim closed her eyes and thanked whatever higher power that he spoke that particular sentence in English, but it still made her giggle.

"Look, we just want our apple back." Kim said to the demon. He frowned and turned his head, looking down at Rin, who still held the fruit. He then looked back at Kim.

"Why?" he asked, completely lost as in why two monstrous creatures cared for a measly apple.

"Well, if you look at it closely, is has a blade slipped in," Kim began, seeing the man's eyes widen slightly as he bent down, holding his hand out.

"And if she were to eat said apple, she'll definitely cut her mouth open." Kim ended, hearing Derek lick his lips with idle interest. The two friends watched as the dog demon slowly turned the apple in his hand, finally spotting the paper-thin slit where the blade hid. He stood up and threw the apple to Kim, but Derek caught it quickly and skillfully in his own hand. The dog demon was more interested in the masked creature that had made no movements or flinches.

"I want a less lethal apple." The demon man said, only to get snorts and chuckles in response.

"Get the poisoned apple," Kim said to Derek in Japanese, knowing he wouldn't understand, but she wanted the other demon man to understand anyway. She heard the low growl come from him.

"Joking…give me the other apple," Kim switched to English. Derek handed her the other apple and Kim tossed it to the tall man, who caught it and gave it back to the girl.

"Hah! That's what you two idiots get for messing with us!" the green imp shouted.

"We traded apples, dumb fuck. Don't start acting stupid and make me beat your head in." Kim growled, now tapping her shoulder with the machete lightly. The green imp flinched slightly at her threat, but closed his mouth.

"Can we go now?" Derek asked Kim.

"Let's bounce." Kim said back, walking away. Derek looked back at the dog demon cautiously before following her.

"What was that chick's problem?" Derek asked bluntly.

"Hahaha! You do know that was a dude, right?" Kim asked him. Derek looked at her with a slightly worried face.

"What?" he asked her with disbelief, sending her into a fit of laughter as she pushed up her mask to breathe easier.

"Yes, Derek, that was a man! Hahaha!" Kim laughed in reply.

"Bullshiiiiiiiiit! No way!" Derek yelled back with a smile, still in disbelief.

"Haha, yes! Man!"

"Man with a 'wo' in front! Whatever! I'm a man, that was a chick!"

"Nope." Kim giggled back.

It took them a little while to approach a town, and when they did, they walked up into it, acting as if they owned the place. The people stared at them with fear and confusion. Kim walked up to a man and held her machete up.

"Trick or treat!" Derek shouted.

"Where's my candy, baby?" Kim asked the man as she and Derek circled him like predators would do to prey. The man quivered with fright. He couldn't understand them at all and they acted like they wanted to kill him.

"I…What do you want?" he asked them.

"Candy, candy, candy, candy!" Kim and Derek shouted, grabbing sacks from their outfits and holding them out. The man gulped and frowned.

"I don't have any money!" he said back, but Kim and Derek pushed their bags into his face.

"Caaaaaaandy!" they shouted. Little did they know, the demon dog, Sesshomaru, had followed them, and watched them from a distance.

"Demons be gone!" an old man shouted as he ran up to Kim and Derek with a sacred staff. He swung it powerfully and Kim ducked out of the way, letting it smash into Derek's head.

"Ow! What the hell? Why did you do that?" Derek screamed at the man, who stared back with confusion. He couldn't understand.

"Hahaha!" Kim laughed, not seeing the old woman, the old priest's wife, run at her, throwing what seemed to be dust to ward off demons.

"Be gone!" the woman shouted, tossing the dust at Kim and striking her in the face. The dust sprayed through the holes in her mask as Kim shouted with pain.

"Ahhh…ahhhh," Kim shouted. Sesshomaru frowned, thinking she would slice the old woman in half.

"Ahh choo! Ahchoo! Ahhh…ahhh…choo! Ah, noooooo! Groooosss! Sneezed all in my mask! Ahhhh!" Kim shouted after sneezing multiple times, the last one bringing out the mucus.

"Hahaha, fail! That's really gross!" Derek laughed as Kim ran to the nearest irrigated canal, removing her mask and cleaning it out. She wiped her face and her hands off before putting the mask back on as she ran back at the old woman.

"Stupid lady! I just want candy!" Kim shouted, falsely swiping at the woman and her husband. Derek laughed at the scene.

"Now you have swine flu all over your mask. Ew." Derek stated.

"Oink, oink, oink, oink!" Kim chanted, smashing a barrel with the machete. Sesshomaru still watched, still having no clue in what they were saying, or what their purpose was. They just seemed to be wild, not hostile.

"They survived the dust, they mustn't be demons!" A man shouted to the priest and his wife.

"But they look like demons!" the priest said back.

"Maybe they're just returning from a weary journey, asking for supplies?" the man suggested. The priest looked at Kim and Derek, who eagerly held out their bags, both bouncing in place, chanting "candy." The priest sighed as he ordered the village to offer a little something to the "gods of mischief."

Sesshomaru followed Kim and Derek through the forest, keeping a distance behind them as to not alert him of his presence. He wasn't quite sure of what they were. Demons or some other creature…a new breed perhaps. He only wanted to make sure that they were no threat to his plans. He heard their voices and realized that they had stopped walking.

"Haha, I got a basket." Derek chirped, waving the basket at Kim, who was reaching into her bag.

"Ahhh! I got a cock!" Kim shouted, pulling the frightened rooster out as it clucked away quickly. Sesshomaru blinked with confusion. Why the hell was it in her bag and what was she going to do with it?

"Aww, I want one!" Derek whined with envy as he pulled out a beautiful silk robe. It was a light blue color with white flower patterns.

"Hey Derek, is that yours?" Kim asked with a giggle. Derek looked at it with disgust.

"Nah, it ain't my color." Derek replied, placing it in his basket and digging through his bag again. Kim held her rooster and petted it gently, calming it down. Derek pulled out food and a jar of sake.

"Ooh, alcohol." Derek sang.

"I haven't had a shot of whiskey in ten hours." Kim stated proudly, taking a sip of the sake after Derek had.

"What're you going to do with your cock?" he asked with a giggle.

"Stroke it." Kim replied as she continued petting it. The animal was now calmed and looking around curiously.

"What're you going to name it?"

"No clue…what do you think?" Kim asked, switching to Japanese as she turned her head, looking at Sesshomaru. He almost decided to walk away, but that would look like he was running, and he was no coward.

"What do I think of what?" Sesshomaru asked back, stepping into the distance.

"What's She-Man want?" Derek asked with a scowl. Sesshomaru glared back.

"Tell him that though I cannot understand him, I know he insults me." Sesshomaru stated, his hand ready to whip his sword out.

"Derek," Kim said,

"Hm?" Derek replied.

"He's on to you." Kim stated as Derek frowned.

"Goddamn smart ass She-Male." Derek mumbled under his breath, looking away from the demon lord. Kim stared back at Sesshomaru, her eyes picking up on his every move to see if he was a threat or not. She saw him relax his arm at his side and she decided he was now calm.

"Ah, Rick! Noooo!" Kim called out as the rooster escaped her grasp and ran off into the forest. Sesshomaru watched as the girl, at lightning fast speed, ran off after the rooster, scooping it up in her arms and running back.

"Haha, Rick?" Derek asked.

"I named him Rick." Kim replied, sitting down and looking up at Sesshomaru, laughing at his expression. It was still calm, but it showed confusion as well. Sesshomaru looked down at her and frowned.

"What is your name?" he asked her.

"Uh, is it really that important?" she asked back.

"Not to me. I was just curious."

"Oh, then I will not say." Kim replied.

"Kim," Derek chirped whispered, poking her arm. Kim stared at him angrily.

"Kim, is it?" Sesshomaru asked, slight amusement.

"Not even close." Kim replied simply as she stood up, Derek standing with her.

"How does he know your name?" Derek asked.

"Because of you, stupid ass! Now shut up!" Kim hissed at him.

"It's not my fault." Derek grumbled back.

"If you two are to roam my lands, you will see to it to stay out of my way." Sesshomaru said as he walked away.

"Yeah, right." Kim giggled.

"What should we do now?" Derek asked.

"Find Rick a new home."

"Ok."

"For sure."


	3. Chapter 3

What Are You Saying?

"Haha, oh shit." Derek laughed after Kim chanted a few spells, a blue glow emitting from her hand and shinning down on Rick the rooster, transforming him into a giant, ten-foot tall rooster.

"Now we can ride him." Kim stated simply, her blue eyes flashing with mischief. Derek smiled back with his yellow eyes gleaming as well.

Sesshomaru stood on the edge of a steep cliff. He followed Naraku's scent and it ended there abruptly, like the half-demon had disappeared instantly. The demon lord frowned when he heard someone land in the grass behind him. He turned slightly and relaxed when he realized it was Kagura.

"Following Naraku again?" Kagura asked with boredom, tapping her fan on the side of her leg before closing it.

"He is hiding behind a barrier here, is he not?" Sesshomaru asked back, knowing the wind witch could not say. They both turned around when they heard thunderous footsteps heading their way. Sesshomaru grasped his sword when the demonic aura became stronger, but he soon found himself thoughtless when he saw the giant rooster burst out of the trees, squawking wildly and running after him and Kagura.

"Ahhh! Riiiiiick! Noooo!" a familiar voice called out in English. Though he couldn't understand, he recognized it as the voice of the masked girl he met the other day. He saw the girl fly out of the trees, her movements no longer human, but very demonic and quick. He saw Derek dive out of the sky, landing on the feral rooster's back and grabbing onto it as Rick became wilder, bucking and heading for the cliff.

"Kim! I can't stop him!" Derek called out. Sesshomaru watched as Kim stood still, clapping her hands together and chanting words under her breath. The rooster stopped running and squawking, pecking at the ground happily. Kim sighed as she brushed her black jacket off. She also had on black jeans with a chain hanging from the belt loops, a studded belt in place.

"Crazy ass rooster." Kim growled, petting Rick softly.

"Who the hell are you?" Kagura asked, opening her fan and holding it up in defense. Kim glared back slightly before looking at Derek.

"Is the bitch talking to me?" Kim asked Derek, who shrugged.

"I don't know." He replied simply. Kim finally saw Sesshomaru, who was walking up to them.

"You're the masked girl from the other day." Sesshomaru stated, his sword at the ready.

"Uh, no I'm not." Kim replied quickly, barely letting him finish his sentence. She knew that he knew, but she was in the mood for disrespecting authority. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes as he raised his sword's tip to her neck.

"Do not toy with me. I know it was you." He replied coldly. Derek stepped up and pushed the blade away from her neck.

"Man, step off before I fuck you up!" Derek shouted in English. Sesshomaru looked at Kim for a translation.

"He said he loves your hair." Kim said with a smile. The demon lord's eyes averted back to Derek's yellow ones. They stared one another down for what seemed like forever.

"Uh oh, Rick!" Kim shouted when she saw the rooster attack Kagura, who flew up in the air and firing a fatal attack at the bird, but Kim had already cancelled the attack with her claws.

"Tell your stupid bird to back off!" Kagura shouted from her feather in mid-air.

"You back off." Kim retorted sharply.

"I mean it!"

"Me too! I'm going to kill you and it's going to be fucking epic!" Kim shouted with a grin. She was itching for a fight.

"The only one you'll be fighting is me." Sesshomaru stated smoothly. Kim motioned for Derek to get on Rick before the animal became spooked. She climbed on behind him and laughed.

"Fuck you." Derek chirped, waving to the demon lord as Rick took off. He headed for the cliff and slammed into an invisible barrier, which became visible because of the ripples from the force of the collision. Kim and Derek were flung off and sent to the ground.

"Ah, damn it!" Kim whined when Rick took off running back to the forest.

"Haha, pitiful." Kagura chuckled mockingly. Kim jumped up and glared at her dangerously. Derek punched the barrier and frowned as he stepped back.

"A barrier? Pfft, a weak one." Derek commented as Kim walked up to it. She held the tiny fragment of the jewel shard in her hand. The barrier seemed to be emitting from a bigger fragment of the same material, whatever it was.

"Ahh! Kiiiiiim!" Derek cried out when tentacles lashed out from the barrier, latching onto him, pulling him into the barrier. Kim pocketed the jewel fragment and dove after her friend. She caught his hand and yanked him away, just in time to see someone in a baboon costume leap out of the barrier, running away.

"Oh hell no! Get your monkey ass back here!" Kim shouted, getting ready to start chasing him, but Sesshomaru had already decapitated him, watching the puppet disintegrate into the wind.

"Damn it, I was going to kill him!" Kim grumbled. Sesshomaru looked at her, his eyes seeing the tentacles slowly snaking towards her.

"Hah! Bitch!" Derek laughed as he slashed the tentacles away. He and Kim backed away from the barrier and glared back at it.

"It seems Naraku wants you both." Kagura murmured to herself.

"Kagura, distract them," his voice echoed in her head. Kagura waved her fan, sending the blades at Kim, who once again, cancelled them out with her claws.

"Bitch, you'd better plead ignorance or blindness before it gets ugly!" Kim stated at Kagura warningly.

"It just got waaaaay fucking ugly, dude!" Derek cried out when more tentacles flew out, grasping Derek and pulling him quickly to the barrier.

"Ahhhh!" Derek screamed when he disappeared inside it. Kim stopped struggling and let the remaining tentacles to grasp her and pull her inside. Derek was her partner in crime. She wasn't going to let him die.

"Hi Kim." Derek chirped when they were both dropped on the wooden floor of an enormous castle. Kim glared at him silently.

"Next time, I'm going to wait for you to be near death before I give up like that." Kim growled back at him. Both demons turned their heads when they heard footsteps approaching them. A tall, dark figure stepped into the dim light, but Kim could see him perfectly fine.

"I see that you have a fragment of the jewel," he said coolly, his crimson eyes looking Kim over slowly, as if trying to decide if she were dangerous or not.

"Haha, she's hot." Derek said sarcastically. Again, Kim thanked whoever was in Heaven that made Derek unable to speak Japanese.

"Derek, please, shut the fuck up." Kim hissed to him.

"Make me. She can't understand English."

"I don't care. He'll kill you just for breathing his way, now shut up!"

"Tell her I'd bang her any day."

"You say it."

Naraku watched with interest as the two friends bickered back and forth, speaking a barbaric language completely unknown to the dark man, but their facial expressions and tones of voices told him that this wasn't their first time having this kind of discussion, whatever it was. He sat down and rested his chin on his hand, ruby red eyes moving back and forth with the comments now being spat out, telling him they were flinging insults. He couldn't find it in himself to silence them just yet.

"Shut the hell up! I didn't TP your fucking house!" Derek shouted at Kim.

"Oh whatever! I know it was you! Shit, I'm not stupid!" Kim hissed back.

"I know you're not stupid, but you're also not dumb, and you should know that I'm stupid, but not stupid enough to fuck up your crib like that!"

"Whatever dude, now, back to this guy, and he's a guy,"

"She's a she!"

"No, it's a man."

"Woman."

"Man."

"Woman, Kimbo."

"Man, Derek."

"Woman."

"Man."

"If I may, I'm going to interject myself into this and ask what it is you're discussing?" Naraku finally said, straightening his posture, red eyes meeting Kim's icy blue ones. She seemed to understand him; it was the other one who seemed to miss his question.

"Uhhh…your mom?" Kim said back to Naraku in Japanese. Naraku cocked an eyebrow, wondering why of all things, why in this situation, would they discuss his mother?

"Why talk about her?" Naraku asked tonelessly.

"Because…hold on…Derek, shut the fuck up!" Kim switched languages and struck Derek in the arm with her fist because he was chanting the same word over and over. Unbeknownst to Naraku, Derek was calling him a woman.

"Ow, I'm sorry." Derek replied.

"The fragment, hand it over." Naraku demanded, holding his hand out to Kim. Kim stared at his hand like it was some foreign gesture to her. Derek grabbed Naraku's hand and shook it.

"Hi, I'm Derek." Derek chirped with a broad smile. Naraku glared at him silently.

"Derek, he wants my sparkly thing," Kim replied, reaching in her pocket.

"What? Why? We found it!" Derek barked at Naraku.

"Shut up." Kim growled, waving the jewel fragment to bring Naraku's attention to herself, praying that Derek would shut up. The man's ruby red eyes locked onto the jewel, his hand slowly reaching for it, but Kim brought it back, holding up her finger.

"Hold on, cowboy," Kim said to Naraku, who stopped reaching, staring back at her blankly.

"Yes?" he asked.

"We can't go home without this thing, I don't think I can give it to you just…like…that." Kim stated, snapping her fingers to the last three words. Naraku realized what she was aiming for. She wanted a bargain.

"Do you want something in return?" Naraku asked.

"Actually, my friend here does, stand up and don't take what is about to happen personally. It's just a curiosity." Kim reassured. Naraku nodded and stood up, as well as Derek.

"Alright, I'm going to do a Crocodile Dundee, and grab her, and if it's a dick, I want you to kill me before he does." Derek said to Kim, who nodded. She wasn't going to do shit. She was going to let Derek wallow in his embarrassment and stupidity for grabbing another man's crotch just to try and prove he was a girl.

"What is he doing?" Naraku asked Kim.

"Just don't move, it'll all be over soon." Kim said back with a yawn. Naraku looked at Derek, and before he could protest, ask or breathe, Derek's hand flew between his legs and grabbed the one place he would never let another being ever touch.

"OH HELL NO! NOOOO!" Derek screamed, flying backwards. Naraku, pissed and confused, flew after him, but Kim stepped in front of him, shoving the jewel shard into his chest with her hand. Naraku stopped and caught the jewel before it fell to the floor.

"Oh gross! I just jocked another guy! Ahh!" Derek whined, still hiding behind Kim.

"Come along, fag." Kim giggled as she walked out of the room, stopping when she almost ran into Naraku's chest. He was blocking the exit, holding the almost complete jewel in his right hand.

"I'm not through with you yet." Naraku stated, an evil smile piercing into his face.

"Oh no, you're blocking the doorway, oh dear…you know I can make myself another doorway, right?" Kim replied, instantly making Naraku chuckle in response to her sarcasm. Every woman he had met had no personality, or was like Kagura, completely unreliable and untrustworthy. Kim, on the other hand, was a compromiser, and he could tell that she was used to being the leader and the top person to talk to.

"You interest me. What is your name?" Naraku asked, glancing at Derek, who seemed to take a protective step forward.

"Not important. I'm leaving." Kim replied shortly, turning around to make her own doorway.

"How would you like to cause some chaos for me?" Naraku asked coolly. Kim turned around and rolled her eyes.

"How would you like to suck my balls? I don't work for anyone, they work for me!" Kim shouted, blowing a hole into the wall of the castle. Derek half transformed into his demon form, his black eagle wings sprouting from his back as he grabbed Kim, flying out of the castle at jet speed.

"How bothersome. I know this won't be the last time they blow something of mine up. Heh, I hope they blow Kagura up next." Naraku stated, watching idly as the two demons disappeared into the clouds.


	4. Chapter 4

And So It Begins

Kagome's mouth dropped open with surprise and horror when she saw the news headline that morning before going to school.

"The two News From Hell hosts, Kim and Derek, have been missing from their Tokyo hotel room for four days now. They were due back in California, a state in the United States of America, yesterday evening for another show and were finally reported missing." The news anchor said.

"Oh no, are they serious? Why didn't they report it when they couldn't find them four days ago?" Kagome blurted out loud. She had seen the show five days ago and couldn't believe that her two idols have gone missing in Japan. Where the hell were they?

"Dude, Kim, where the hell are we?" Derek spat out irritably. Kim had given Naraku the jewel shard to save their asses, but that fragment was their only way home. So now Derek's ass hurt from sleeping on the forest floor.

"I don't know! Shut up!" Kim shouted back. She was in a rotten mood and she knew that somehow it was Derek's fault. She frowned when she remembered the jewel Naraku had. It was still missing a huge chunk, meaning there was more fragments out there somewhere. The only problem was finding said fragments.

"Shit, we need find some fragment detector or something." Derek grumbled under his breath. Kim nodded in agreement. She also needed to find a hot spring. She was following her nose, walking further up the mountain. She could smell it.

"Derek, I'm going to take a bath, so you stand watch, then we can switch, ok?" Kim suggested.

"Yeah, I was going to stretch my wings anyway. Be right back." Derek replied. Kim watched as her friend transformed into a giant black eagle with brilliant yellow eyes. His feathers were gilded, making his monstrous form look beautiful and intimidating. Derek gave a last hiss of content as he flew away lazily. Kim stripped her clothes and settled down into the warm water, letting out a contented sigh.

"For someone so cunning and attentive, you seem to let your guard down easily." A familiar voice purred as Sesshomaru's figure exited from the shadow of the trees. He looked down at her, not caring that she was nude, but she obviously cared because she had sank lower in the water, her arms crossing over her breasts.

"I didn't think there were creepers back here…I was wrong." Kim retorted sourly.

"Creepers? Back here? What do you mean by that?" Sesshomaru asked curiously. He saw Kim's frustration level rise as she rolled her eyes, growling something at him in her native tongue of English.

"You will speak to me in my language. Do not revert to that barbaric language and speak insulting things to me." Sesshomaru growled warningly. Kim's iced blue eyes met his golden ones, actually looking colder than his.

"I'm really tired of you people ordering me around like you're my boss! I am not your slave or underling and I will speak whatever language I find necessary!" Kim shouted back defiantly. Sesshomaru reached for his sword, stopping when he heard a loud growl emit from Kim's mouth, as her ominous blue aura grew angry.

"If you pull that sword out, I'll shove it right up your ass! Go away!" Kim ordered as her fangs elongated. Sesshomaru frowned. Kim wasn't able to cloak her aura, but she was able to cloak her scent somewhat. He realized that he still didn't know what kind of demon she was and telling from the growl, she was something that wasn't to be double-crossed.

"Answer me this first and I will leave," Sesshomaru stated.

"Fine. What?"

"What is your name?"

"Oh my God, are you serious?"

"I am quite serious."

"It's Kim!"

"You told me it wasn't."

"I also have a tendency to lie like a mother fucker. Alright, go away now." Kim insisted with annoyance. Sesshomaru snorted quietly as he turned around, walking away like he owned the place. Kim let out a huge breath before sliding her entire body, head and all, below the water.

"Wooo!" Derek cheered after Kim got dressed and motioned for him to take his lead.

"Do you clean yourself like a bird?" Kim asked Derek, turning around to let him strip his clothes.

"Haha, you mean peck at myself with my beak?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess, however a bird cleans itself."

"No, I clean myself using my arms, but in my true form, then I peck at myself with my beak."

"Do you ever peck too hard?"

"Haha, this is awkward. No, I don't peck too hard."

"Yeah, this is awkward. Well, have fun, I'll be back." Kim replied, waving to him as she walked away.

"Oh, ok." Derek replied uncaringly.

Kim yawned as she continued walking through the forest. She was trying to get a picture of what they were dealing with. Kim was so used to streets, buildings and technology that this type of world was almost foreign to her. Being a little over two hundred years old, she had seen the world change so many times, and she had to readapt to it every time she turned her head.

"Do you think Lord Sesshomaru will like these, Master Jaken?" a little girl's voice rang. Kim realized she was on the other side of the river and that she was the little girl that almost got her and Derek slaughtered by Sesshomaru. Kim decided to keep walking and that maybe no one would notice her.

"Hey, you, who are you?" the annoying imp asked harshly. Kim felt her eye twitch, but she kept walking, speeding up her pace. Maybe if she pretended not to care, they would leave her alone, but assuming things was never her best trait because she heard a lazy roar and looked over, seeing the imp and human girl riding on the back of the two-headed dragon that was flying over the river next to her.

"I asked you a question!" Jaken shouted impatiently. Kim rolled her eyes and shoved her hands in her pockets.

"Don't worry about who I am. Go back to your flowers." Kim growled.

"Why you insolent little," but Jaken could not finish as Kim leapt in the air, sharply dodging an ogre's giant fist. The giant creature snarled with anger as it lashed out for Rin and Jaken, but Kim lacerated its arm off with her claws. The ogre cried out in pain as it backed away, but Kim hacked it to pieces before it could run away.

"Lame. Well, now I have to go." Kim huffed, leaping away quickly; making sure it was too quick for them to follow her.

Derek waited for Kim patiently, like he always did. He hummed a happy tune as he sat on a tree branch, swinging his legs while picking leaves from a branch above him. He heard Kim's footsteps approach him and he looked down.

"Ahoy there." Derek chirped, landing next to Kim softly.

"Alright, I have a plan," Kim said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Cool. What is it?"

"We're going to split up for a while."

"Wait? What? No! I can't speak Japanese!" Derek pleaded.

"You don't have to talk to anyone, just look around. You have good eyes."

"Oh, well, ok. Meet back here?"

"Yeah. In a few hours." Kim replied, waving to him and leaping away. Derek sighed as he jumped away as well. He hoped that he didn't run into anyone who wanted to talk.

Derek continued walking, a little bounce in his step. He enjoyed the scenery and the clean air. Now if he could speak Japanese, he'd pick up a girl or two. Derek heard the horrid scream of a girl from far away. He transformed midway, letting his wings sprout and his skin turn darker and having the gilded designs carve into him. He flew after the scent of the girl, his speed picking up with each flap of his wings. His keen eyesight picked up on a rabid bear demon attacking a young girl.

"I think not!" Derek shouted, diving down and tackling the bear demon dynamically. He turned around to see if the girl was alright and froze. It was the Kagome chick he and Kim met a few days ago. Derek quickly turned back around and attacked the bear viciously, killing it and hurriedly flying up into the sky.

"Wait!" Kagome called out. Derek landed on the top of a tree, the sunlight blaring into Kagome's eyes so that all she saw was a man with wings. Derek didn't know much Japanese, but he knew enough that she called to him to wait. Derek made sure that his wings blocked his face, in case she could see past his darkened skin and golden markings.

"Thank you!" she said kindly. Derek opened his mouth, but settled with a wave before taking off like a bat out of Hell.

"Hey, who the hell are you?" another voice spat at Derek, who narrowly dodged a huge blade that swung at his body. Derek landed on another tree, his wings raised and casting a shadow over the half demon dog boy. Again, Derek knew the half demon wanted his name, but he glared back quietly, fists at the ready.

"Fine, if you're not going to tell me your name, I'll just kill you." Inuyasha growled, leaping at Derek, ready to slash his wings off. Derek flapped his wings, sending out a huge gust of wind while slashing his claws, sending out a fury of golden blades and slashing the half demon boy up.

"You're not the first gook I've dealt with." Derek sighed, flying away before he caused more of a scene. He continued flying through the air lazily, looking down when he saw a small dust cloud with something running inside it. He saw Kim burst out of the trees, kicking the man out of the tornado and looking up.

"He has two in his legs!" she called out as Derek dove down.

"You bitch! I'll kill you!" the wolf demon barked, but he felt his legs leave the ground as he started flying straight up. Derek dropped him from the air and Kim hooked the wolf in the jaw, knocking him out as he fell onto the ground.

"I saw that Kagome chick." Derek stated as he watched Kim hold her hands out, a jewel fragment in each hand.

"Did she see you?"

"Yeah, but she couldn't recognize me." Derek replied, pocketing one of the jewel fragments.

"Is that all?" Kim asked with a yawn.

"Yeah. So, what did this dude do to deserve a right hook from Kimbo?"

"He called me a bitch."

"Haha…hahahaha!" Derek laughed as he and Kim walked away. Derek returned to his humanoid form, following Kim back to the well.

"Ok, so I'm drinking myself a huge bottle of whiskey when we get back to our room." Kim stated as the jewel shard began to glow in her hand.

"Word." Derek replied. They both leapt in, but Kim cursed when she felt someone reach out and grab her arm, but the damage was done. They all landed in the bottom of the well. Derek saw the familiar fluff on the shoulder of the tall demon dog.

"Ahhh! Ahhh! Kim, send him back! Send him back!" Derek screamed frantically, but he saw that he had a hold on her arm, squeezing powerfully.

"Get the bastard off me!" Kim barked as Derek pulled the demon lord's hand from her arm. Derek sprouted his wings and grabbed Kim, flying out of the well, hearing the dog demon right behind him.

"Derek! Fly higher before someone sees us!" Kim hissed. Derek rose up, keeping his focus on the sky and not on the demon following them.

"Perish!" Sesshomaru growled, flicking his wrist and spraying his deadly poison. Derek whipped around, tossed Kim in the air and took the blast himself. Sesshomaru smirked when the demon fell from the sky lifelessly, but he forgot about Kim, who came at him from the air, slamming her fist into his face.

"Asshole!" Kim spat, catching Derek before he slammed into the roof of a building. Sesshomaru landed on his feet lightly, golden eyes set on Kim heatedly.

"What is your problem?" Kim asked Sesshomaru. Derek groaned as he regained consciousness, rubbing his head softly.

"Kimbo, whiskey is not going to cure this shit." Derek mumbled.

"I asked you to join me and you refused, which means you will be in my way. I cannot have you two stealing shards that I need." Sesshomaru said, but Kim realized that it wasn't him. His long white hair turned black and wavy as his golden eyes flashed red. He was Naraku, not Sesshomaru.

"No, Derek, I think whiskey will cure every bit of this." Kim said in English, pulling Derek to his feet.

"How?"

"We're going to get this mother fucker drunk." Kim laughed.

"Haha, good." Derek replied.

Naraku frowned as he drank the liquid that Kim handed him. He was quite curious about every little gadget lying around the hotel room, but every time he reached for one, Kim slapped his hand away and promised a slow, painful death if he did touch it.

"Goddamn it, Kim! That's his sixth shot of Jack Daniels and he's not even buzzed!" Derek whined, eating a chip. Kim looked at him with a shrug.

"As long as he keeps him quiet and he QUITS TOUCHING MY SHIT!" Kim bellowed when she saw the dark man's hand reaching for her iPod sitting on her bed. His crimson red eyes locked with hers, showing his agitation.

"Are you ordering me around?" he asked dangerously.

"Is he getting smart with you?" Derek asked Kim.

"I don't think he knows how to be smart." Kim replied in English, still staring Naraku down. The man drank the rest of his shot and let out a growl of boredom.

"Derek, do you still have your Rubix cube?" Kim asked.

"Yeah, why?" Derek asked back.

"Because, he needs something to keep that evil mind of his busy and I want him to QUIT TOUCHING MY SHIT!" Kim bellowed again when Naraku reached for her Nintendo DSi. Naraku glanced at her, letting out a sigh as he stood up to look around the room while Derek searched his bags for the cube.

"Why does he have to touch my shit?" Derek asked.

"Because, I don't want him to get bored and start fucking girls on the floor and breaking shit. Just to keep him busy for tonight." Kim replied.

"Why a Rubix cube? He doesn't even know what to do with it."

"Because, I'll tell him what to do so he'll QUIT TOUCHING MY SHIT!" Kim roared when Naraku found one of her bras. He had picked it up and was looking at it inquisitively, completely ignoring Kim's outburst.

"Does he even know what it is?" Derek asked with a laugh as he continued his search.

"I don't know. Hey, do you know what that is?" Kim asked Naraku, going to pour him another drink, but she handed him the half way full bottle of Jack Daniels to let him drink it and get it over with. Naraku grabbed the bottle while still inspecting the bra.

"It looks like breasts." He said simply, taking a drink. Kim snorted and looked at Derek.

"Close enough." Kim said to Derek while snatching the bra from Naraku's grasp.

"Aha! Found it!" Derek chirped, tossing the cube to Kim, who caught it and held it up to Naraku, who immediately dropped the bra and grabbed the cube.

"What is this?" he asked, sitting back down on Kim's bed and turning the cube in his hand while taking a drink with the other.

"You turn all of the sides any way you please until all of the colors match up." Kim explained as Naraku placed the empty bottle in Kim's hand, beginning his work on the puzzle.

"Wow, a whole bottle of Daniels and he's solving a Rubix cube? You don't see that everyday." Derek chirped as he turned the TV on. Naraku looked up momentarily before returning to the cube.

"Yeah. Hey, I'm going to go explain our absence to our agents and what not. I'll be gone for a while, so keep him up here." Kim said to Derek sternly.

"Wha…what am I supposed to do with him?" Derek asked.

"If I know you as well as I think, you're going to the naughty channels. Show him some hardcore porn, I don't care, just keep him in here." Kim replied.

"Oh, ok. I think he prefers cubes over girls, anyway."

"Haha, hey, listen, I'm going to be gone for a while, so stay here, I'll be back." Kim said to Naraku, who didn't look up.

"Don't order me around."

"Derek is going to watch some porn. You should watch it with him." Kim chirped. Naraku looked up with confusion.

"What's porn?" he asked. Kim pointed to the TV where the dirty moaning came from.

"Hee, hee, hee, they got some good shit in Japan." Derek chirped as he continued munching on potato chips. Kim watched as Naraku stared at the TV, then shrugged and returned to the puzzle.

"Such things do not interest me." Naraku stated, frowning when a row didn't match up.

"Whatever. I'll be back whenever I'm done getting chewed out." Kim yawned.

"Bye Kimbo!" Derek called out.

"Good bye, Kimbo." Naraku said with a chuckle. Kim nodded at Derek, but gave Naraku the "You're a fucking creep" stare before closing the door.

A few hours later, after getting chewed out by her agents and the U.S. of A. and Japan, and whomever else decided to be there, Kim returned to her and Derek's room. She opened the door and snorted. Naraku and Derek were both sitting in front of the TV, watching hardcore porn. Derek looked bored out of his mind and Naraku cocked his head while frowning.

"Why is she doing that?" Naraku asked. Derek paused for a minute, flipping through a translating book before replying.

"Because she likes it." Derek replied with a heavy accent.

"Haha, wow." Kim giggled.

"This guy has no clue what the hell is going on! Hahaha!" Derek laughed to Kim.

"Hey, have you ever been with a girl?" Kim asked.

"Plenty, I just didn't know they could be so flexible." Naraku replied.

"I thought such things didn't interest you."

"I finished the puzzle, I finished your weak alcoholic drinks; there was nothing else to do."

"Oh…well, have fun. I'm going to bed." Kim yawned, falling down onto her bed and sighing.

"Good night, Kimbo!" Derek sang.

"Can you do that, Kimbo?" Naraku purred teasingly.

"Shut the fuck up…shut the fuck up." Kim said in both English and Japanese.


	5. Chapter 5

Meow

Kim and Derek watched as Naraku devoured his food hungrily. They had dressed him up in American attire, a black AC/DC shirt, black jeans, black Chucks, studded belt and studded wristbands and took him out to a restaurant because they were hungry apparently so was Naraku.

"Damn boy, slow down." Kim said to Naraku, who looked at her, picking up noodles with his chopsticks.

"A growing boy needs his food." Naraku replied with a smirk of sarcasm.

"Hahahaha!" Derek laughed.

"Did you understand that?" Kim asked Derek.

"Yeah, I think didn't he say he would be bottom?" Derek asked curiously. Kim snorted and began laughing, as did Derek. Naraku missed the joke entirely.

"Ahaha, no, not even close." Kim replied, wiping a tear from her eye.

"I can't always be right." Derek chirped, taking a drink.

"I want more." Naraku stated, placing his bowl down.

"Too bad. This is a restaurant, not a buffet." Kim responded.

"I don't get it. Order more." Naraku insisted.

"He's going to be fucking obese by the time we leave here." Kim growled in English.

"I'm not carrying him." Derek replied.

"We should just leave him here."

"Haha, I think that would be bad."

"True. Look at that look in his eyes, they scream "Child molester" to me." Kim stated, looking at Naraku with a broad smile. Naraku saw that Derek was also looking at him.

"Hee hee, where's Chris Hanson when you need him?" Derek asked.

"Mother fucker, I'm Chris Hanson." Kim said back.

"I'm Rick James, bitch."

"I've yet to see you order more food, woman." Naraku growled at Kim, who yawned back at him in reply.

"Dude, you act like I'm not going to buy more food later. Shit, calm down." Kim said to Naraku, who seemed to be content with different food. He felt weird in the new clothes though. He was used to the loose fitting silk robes, but these clothes were tighter and not as soft against his skin. He looked down at the shirt and sighed.

"What does this say?" he asked Kim, pointing to the shirt.

"Dick." Kim spat cheaply in reply.

"He said that it said 'Cock.' Now why would the meaning go from a rooster to a body part?" Naraku asked, feeling his agitation rise when Kim burst into a painful fit of laughter. Derek giggled, but had no clue what was going on.

"Haha, Derek! Did you tell him his shirt meant rooster?" Kim asked.

"No, I said 'Cock.' Maybe he thinks I meant rooster, but I definitely meant dick." Derek explained.

"Hahahaha! Naraku, where we come from, cock means dick." Kim clarified. Naraku's glare shifted to Derek, who snorted and smiled back.

"Why?" Naraku asked with a sigh.

"Haha, I don't make the rules, I barely even follow them. Let's go, fat boy." Kim sighed after paying for the meal. Naraku frowned, but he followed the other two, looking around curiously. Every little thing intrigued him.

"Keep up, Spanky." Kim called to Naraku, who caught up to her and blinked.

"Where are we going?" Naraku asked.

"Ahhhh! Kimbo!" someone shouted. Then, everyone who knew her whipped his or her head in Kim's direction.

"Aw, shit. Time to run." Kim sighed, taking off with Derek, grabbing Naraku's arm and dragging him with her. The half-demon kept up with her pace.

"Why are we running? We should just kill them." Naraku stated simply.

"Uh, yeah, can't do that for legal and publicity reasons. They'll give up." Kim replied when she and Derek dipped into a bookstore. Naraku gently pulled his arm from her grasp, walking down an isle and looking over each book idly. Kim could tell that the maniacal man was becoming bored, and she could see the inner mechanisms of his mind shifting, causing ideas to sprout in his dark head.

"Hey, Kim, red alert!" Derek hissed, pointing at the door. Kim looked over and felt her mouth drop open. There was Kagome and her half-demon friend, walking into the store.

"Man, Kagome, why are we here?" Inuyasha asked with a whine.

"Because, you destroyed my math book, so I need a new one." Kagome replied simply.

"Shit! You, come here," Kim hissed, grabbing Naraku by his shirt and backing him into the back wall of the store. She saw the bathroom door and opened it, shoving him in it.

"I'll distract them!" Derek whispered. Kim nodded and got inside the bathroom, closing the door behind herself.

"What're you," Naraku began, only to stop when Kim began chanting under her breath, her body emitting an eerie blue glow.

"Inuyasha, what's wrong?" He heard Kagome asked. Naraku instantly smirked and tried to push past Kim, but she shoved him back against the wall of the small bathroom, her body pressing against his.

"Don't you dare," Kim growled at him.

"Nothing. I thought I smelled Naraku, but it was just me." Inuyasha replied back bitterly.

"Haha, uh, yeah, why would he be here and how?" Kagome asked back with a mocking giggle.

"Oh yes, how could I?" Naraku purred, his eyes meeting Kim's. She was glaring at him, almost telling him to shut up. Naraku heard Derek start talking.

"Heeeeey!" Derek chirped, waving at Kagome.

"Oh, Derek, what're you doing here?" Kagome asked. She saw Derek frown as he repeated what she said slowly, snapping his fingers as he tried to figure out what she said. Naraku chuckled lowly as Kim rolled her eyes and cursed under her breath as she lightly pounded her forehead on Naraku's muscled chest.

"I'm uh looking for a book." Derek replied slowly, his tone questioning. Kagome smiled and nodded at him.

"A bit hesitant, but you're fine." Kagome said in English slowly. Derek smiled as he nodded slightly.

"You too." He said in Japanese. He looked at Inuyasha, who was inches away from him, sniffing inquisitively.

"Uh, hello there," Derek murmured.

"Inuyasha! Get away from him!" Kagome snapped, pulling the half-demon away.

"Yes, little bitch dog, do as your master says." Naraku stated with an amused smile. Kim snorted as she nodded.

"It's like you can read my mind." Kim whispered.

"So, is Kim in the restroom?" Kagome asked. It took Derek a minute to register the question. He nodded and pointed at the door.

"Yeah, Kim." Derek repeated.

"Hi Kim!" Kagome sang.

"Uh, yeah, hey." Kim replied cheaply, her facial expressions making Naraku smile wickedly as a thought crossed his mind. He slowly pushed Kim against the wall, his crimson red eyes meeting her icy blue ones.

"So, uh, book?" Derek asked Kagome, who nodded and showed him and Inuyasha around the bookstore.

"So, Kimbo, want to take me up on that offer of mine?" Naraku asked, running his hands down her stomach. Kim responded with a right hook fist to his face, abruptly knocking him back against the opposite wall. Naraku held his nose while growling with pain.

"Don't touch me." Kim stated.

"Heh, you've got quite the fist for a woman." Naraku said with a smile, still rubbing his nose.

"Keep talking and I'll do the same thing to your balls." Kim exhaled.

Derek waved to Kagome after they talked for a little while. He walked to the back, where Kim walked out of the bathroom, dragging an unconscious Naraku with her.

"Haha, damn girl." Derek chuckled.

Naraku groaned as he slowly regained consciousness from his knock out. Kim had kneed him in the balls and punched him multiple times in the head, at least, that's all he could remember and she probably did more. He slowly sat up, rubbing his head with dissatisfaction. When he saw her next, she was dead.

"Well, well, looks like someone had a good time." Kagura's bored tone droned. Naraku's eyes snapped open immediately. He looked down and realized that he was completely naked and had obscene pictures drawn all over his body with ink that would not scrub away. He growled when he finally realized what had happened. They ditched him.

Kim and Derek cackled and laughed as they headed back to the well. Kim handed Derek one of their two jewel shards and pocketed the other. They sat down in the shade of a tree, leaning against one another.

"So, Kim, we have to go back to America sometime." Derek stated, his bright yellow eyes scanning the landscape and beyond for any danger.

"Yeah I know." Kim replied.

"These things, and what we just did, gives us targets on our backs if we stay here." Derek exhaled. He loved Kim. She was his one and only friend. They met a long time ago and just stuck together since day one. Derek knew he wasn't the brain; he left the hard part to Kim. His job was to keep both himself and Kim alive and out of danger.

"You ok?" Kim asked him.

"Yeah, I'm just really dazed right now." He replied simply.

"Eh, I know you. You always get this way when danger is a high probability."

"Yeah, we should keep moving please?" Derek asked, standing up and still looking around carefully. Kim stood up and nodded.

"If it'll get you to chill your nuts, yeah." Kim responded simply. She and Derek continued walking until a gentle breeze brought a familiar scent to her nose. She immediately swiped Derek's leg out from underneath him, bringing him to the ground so as to dodge a fatal blow from Naraku's puppet's tentacles. Kim felt a sharp pain plow through her right shoulder when she turned to face the puppet, but as she raised her hand to fire an attack, a white blur flew past her, disintegrating the baboon-cloaked puppet with a powerful stroke of a sword.

"You're fairly quick. Next time save yourself, not someone else." Sesshomaru said to Kim as he slid his sword back onto his hip. Kim glared at him, but looked down at Derek, who stood up, holding his bloodied nose.

"Ow! Next time, warn a brother, ok?" Derek asked with a whine.

"Next time I'll just let him kill your ass." Kim said back with a smirk.

"You ok?" Derek asked Kim, pointing to her shoulder. Kim felt Sesshomaru's hand grip her arm as he turned her towards him. He looked for a moment before letting her go.

"You'll live." The demon lord stated before he walked away.

"I know that, mother fucker." Kim spat at him irritably, rubbing her shoulder tenderly. Derek watched Sesshomaru walk away, then stop and whip around, just as another scent made its presence. Derek took Kim and threw her to the ground as three bolts of pain shot through him.

"Naraku!" Sesshomaru spat, his sword at the ready. Kim jumped up and watched as her friend fell to his knees, panting weakly as he looked back up at her, the life leaving his eyes. Kim reached in her pocket and pulled out the jewel shard, chanting a spell of pleading to the souls in the jewel as she pressed it to his chest.

"Hand over the shards and I won't kill you." Naraku called out with a smirk, his tentacles dragging the still immobilized Derek towards his half transformed body.

"Fuck you!" Kim shouted, frowning when she saw the two-headed dragon, Ah-Un, land next to her.

"Rin, take cover." Sesshomaru growled with slight touchiness. Kim saw the bouquet of red flowers in the girl's hands and snatched them from her. Kim ran after Naraku with the bundle of flowers, chanting something under her breath.

"Heh, flowers, are you," was all Naraku could get out before the petals of the flowers turned into lethal arrow-like bullets, the countless petals plowing through his body with a force that couldn't be made fun of. Kim caught Derek, who was jerking back from his near-death experience, finally able to carry his own weight.

"I thought you were dead," Kim breathed.

"Me too!" Derek laughed as he and Kim backed up from Naraku, who was in pieces after Kim's attack.

"Who are you really?" Sesshomaru asked as Naraku disappeared in a cloud of miasma. Kim stared at Sesshomaru blankly.

"Haven't we had this conversation already? I'm Kim. This is Derek." Kim pointed out simply. Sesshomaru glared as he put his sword back on his hip.

"You used flowers as a weapon. Are you a sorcerer of some sort?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Sorceress. I am a girl. And no, I'm not a sorceress." Kim replied.

"Then what are you?"

"Is it really that important?" Kim asked with a whine.

"It has raised a slight alert, considering you can use flowers as a deadly and powerful weapon." Sesshomaru said back.

"Don't worry, I won't ever do it again." Kim insisted. Sesshomaru poked her in the chest.

"You owe Rin more flowers." He growled.

"Oh please, suck my,"

"Now."

"Ugh. Fine. Derek,"

"Yes?" Derek asked.

"Let's bounce."

"Bounce where?"

"To the well, hurry!" Kim shouted. Sesshomaru watched with displeasure as the demon sprouted wings and flew away at jet speed with Kim. He jumped after them, catching up with Derek with no problem.

"Ah, damn it," Derek exhaled when Sesshomaru floated in front of him.

"Shit, fine. Derek, let's go pick some flowers," Kim exhaled as they flew back to Rin, who was smiling happily.

"My lord, where are we going?" Rin asked.

"This woman owes you flowers. Go pick some." Sesshomaru said, giving Kim a final warning glare.

Derek and Kim glanced at one another distastefully as they knelt down, grabbing flower after flower.

"Man, this shit is lame." Derek growled.

"Suits you well, D." Kim laughed in response. Derek threw a flower at her and Kim held one in front of her mouth, blowing the petals at him and causing them to fire at him like a shotgun.

"Mother fuck Kim! Bitch, I'll cut you!" Derek shouted as he narrowly dodged the explosive attack.

"Haha, one more," Kim giggled, grabbing another flower.

"Stop." Sesshomaru called out from the tree he sat against. Kim glared at him before looking back at Derek tauntingly.

"Yeah, ahaha, quit playing," Derek teased, picking another flower and handing it to Rin.

"Thank you." Rin chirped.

"Suck it!" Derek replied with a smile. He cringed when he heard a growl of anger emit from the demon lord.

"Hahahaha! Derek!" Kim laughed.

"What, I thought it shit, I didn't say "You're welcome," did I?" Derek asked with a groan.

"No you did not, stupid pedophile."

"Will you tell him forget it." Derek sighed, kicking a rock and returning to flower picking.

"Hey Derek, I've got a joke!" Kim called out.

"Shoot!"

"Ok, there's this blind man, right?"

"Right."

"And he's feeling his way down the street with this stick,"

"Yeah,"

"He walks past this fish market,"

"Fish market?"

"Yeah, then he stops and takes a deep breath and says, "Wooo, good morning, ladies!" Hahaha!"

"Hahahaha, wow."

"I said a colt 45," Kim began.

"And two zig-zags, baby that's all we need," Derek continued.

Sesshomaru watched as they dipped throughout the field, picking flowers and singing songs. Unbeknownst to the demon lord, they were dirty songs, and they would switch out a lyric or two and add his name in, which was why he looked up every time he heard his name.

"You had better be complimenting me." Sesshomaru called out dangerously.

"Yeah, we're talking about your hair." Kim replied unconvincingly as she threw a rock at Derek, striking him in the head.

"Ow! You twat!" Derek barked.

"Your mama!"

"Sesshomaru's mama!"

"Quit saying my name." Sesshomaru bit out.

"Derek said he wants to sleep with you!" Kim laughed.

"Man, you be saying lies! Lies! What did you even say?" Derek asked.

"I told him you like his hair." Kim lied.

"Lies!" Derek cried, throwing his flowers down.

"My lord, they haven't given me one flower yet." Rin pointed out.

"Don't expect any. I think they have forgotten." Sesshomaru replied.

"Ahhhhh! Ahhhh! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Derek cried as Kim basically destroyed the entire field with her flower shotgun attack, missing Derek on purpose.

"We're leaving." Sesshomaru said to Rin.

"Weeeeeee!" Derek sang as he flew by, handing Rin his entire bouquet. He then grabbed Kim and flew away with her.

"Wow, he picked some good ones." Rin chirped as Sesshomaru snorted. The demon lord had concluded that they were a bigger problem than they wanted to present themselves to be.

AN- To the reviewer known as "me"  
Look, Up until chapter 37 of Back To SchoolFML, I was in a shitty place with a shitty father who broke my hand, stole all of my money from my bank account and had me thrown out of the house. At that point, a field of flowers with butterflies and cute puppies was shit to me. So if I say something is shit and you don't think so, just remember we all have opinions and we all have those days where everything on Earth is shit. Again, thanks for reviewing and reading all of my stories so far, I really appreciate it. 


	6. Chapter 6

A Bigger Enemy

AN- This story is going to include a few characters from another one of my stories. It's kind of their history as assassins before the business went low.

Kim and Derek panted as they ran for their lives, someone chasing them vigorously. Kim dodged a low tree branch by ducking out of the way. She heard a blade slash the branch in half.

"Move!" Derek shouted, shoving Kim out of the way and avoiding the giant blade as well. He swung his leg, trying to strike the cloaked pursuer, but they also dodged Derek's attack.

"Don't attack, just keep moving!" Kim ordered, grabbing Derek's arm and pulling him with her.

"They'll catch us eventually! We might as well fight!" Derek snapped back, turning around and half-transforming, his talons, wings and golden demon markings appearing instantly. Kim stood behind him and glared at the tall, cloaked man.

"You are so impatient!" Kim hissed.

"Hm, how interesting." The cloaked man chirped, removing his straw hat and revealing an older man's face with a young spark in his fierce blue eyes. He had spiked black hair with some gray streaking through it. He reached inside his cloak and whipped out a katana blade. His black cloak flowed in the wind idly, the same bored expression playing about the demon man's face.

"Ok, Derek, whatever floats your boat." Kim yawned while crossing her arms. She looked back at the cloaked man who sighed and sheathed his sword and chuckled.

"Fine. I'll just use my fists!" the man shouted, leaping at Derek, who flew out of the way. Kim stayed in place as the man's fist flew past her head. She grabbed his arm and quickly whipped him around, holding him in place for Derek's diving attack from the air.

"Haha, dick!" Derek shouted.

"I think not!" the man shouted, using Kim's strength to balance himself with one foot and kick straight up, but Derek blocked the kick with his arms, but the force still sent him flying backwards.

"Alright bitch, your turn!" the man snapped, twisting around and pulling Kim to the ground while straightening his posture. Kim jumped up and growled when he leapt out of her fist range, but Derek caught the man by his arms.

"Haaaah!" the man laughed, flinging his head back and knocking Derek in the face. The bird demon dropped him and groaned.

"Ouch! Mother fucker, that hurt!" Derek snarled.

"What's your name?" the man asked. Derek blinked, still slightly illiterate in Japanese.

"Pfft, what's your name? You came after us!" Kim shouted at the man.

"Oh, right, excuse my bad manners, but I am Yami, at your service." The cloaked man said back with a charming smile, bowing at the hip to Kim.

"More like at the end of your rope! Your ass must be crazy!" Kim snapped, tossing a greenish flame at Yami, who dodged and chuckled.

"Haha, feisty aren't we? Well, let me show you how feisty I can be…heads up!" Yami called out, slashing his claws at the sky and almost striking Derek, who dodged soon enough. Kim leapt at Yami, firing off one fist after the other, occasionally trying to roundhouse kick his head off, but the older demon was faster than she was, easily evading her vicious attacks.

"Damn it, why…won't…you…die?" Kim growled in between fists. Yami simply ducked and dipped away from her, but when he heard Derek coming up behind him, he jerked his elbow back and struck the younger demon in the chest, flipping him to the ground. He jumped back and continued dodging Kim.

"Ugh! Why won't you fight back?" Kim panted as she stepped off, her fists still held up in front of her protectively. Yami smiled as he ruffled his hair.

"I don't fight girls." He stated simply.

"What? Am I not worthy enough?"

"Oh, no, it's not that, I'm sure you could kick my ass, I just can't bring myself to kick yours."

"But you can kill me?"

"Yes. It's complicated." Yami exhaled, watching as Derek stood up, his yellow eyes glaring back at him heatedly.

"Uh, yeah, whatever, just die!" Kim barked, sending out green flames. Yami jumped backwards, frowning when the wave of flames seemed to be following him. He saw Kim clap her hands together and chant a few words; the green flames transforming into flaming foxes, leaping after him.

"Oh shit!" Yami breathed, barely dodging the huge explosion caused by the flaming foxes. Yami landed on a tree branch and exhaled with relief.

"Phew! Woman, you almost got me there!" Yami called out with a nervous laugh. He saw an arrogant smirk pierce across her face as soon as he said that. He quickly looked up and gasped as the last green-flame fox landed on him.

"Woooo! Yeah! Who's up for round two?" Derek laughed as he patted Kim on the shoulder. Kim frowned when she saw Yami stumble out, completely unscathed.

"What the…bullshit!" Derek barked. Kim immediately sensed a presence and turned her head to a shorter cloaked enemy appeared. She saw Yami walk by the shorter one and smile proudly and charmingly as he and the short one disappeared instantly.

"Who the fuck was that?" Derek growled.

"Who cares? He's gone now." Kim replied with a scowl. She was still trying to figure out how he survived a strike from the explosive technique she used and not only survive, but come out unscathed. It made no sense. Then she wondered if the other cloaked assassin had anything to do with Yami's survival.

"Hey look, our best friend is here…again." Derek growled under his breath, his eyes looking over at Sesshomaru, who was walking up uncaringly.

"What do you want now?" Kim asked with a whine as she frantically pulled at her hair. Sesshomaru stopped a few feet away, turning around slightly to inspect the damage. A small chunk of land, and a tree, was scorched beyond recognition. It looked like what Sesshomaru imagined Hell's land to look like. He looked back at Kim and Derek, his eye twitching a bit.

"What did you do?" Sesshomaru asked her with a growl. Kim sighed heavily as she took a few deep breaths.

"Look, I'm from the Dirty South of America, alright? Down there, all I want to do is drink alcohol, fuck on the floor and break shit! When I come to Japan, I want to drink alcohol, fuck on the floor and break shit! When I'm here, I want to drink alcohol, fuck on the ground and break shit! Is it too much to ask for you to go away while I accomplish the alcohol and fucking parts?" Kim asked the demon lord heatedly.

"I will not allow you to blow my lands sky high to the Heavens. What were you doing? Attacking squirrels?" Sesshomaru asked back icily. Kim gave him the look of sarcasm as she huffed.

"Yes, I was attacking those damned demon squirrels…I think I got them. You can go away now." Kim replied.

"I thought you were just,"

"Oh my God! Are you really this stupid or are you doing it to piss me off?" Kim shouted frantically at Sesshomaru, who kept his calm and snorted quietly.

"Which would you rather it be?" Sesshomaru asked her.

"I don't know! If you're doing it on purpose, I'll kill you and if you're really that stupid, then I'll kill you to make the world a better place!" Kim snapped. Sesshomaru blinked and looked at Derek.

"She is very short-tempered." Sesshomaru stated to Derek, who stared back blankly while fumbling over the words the demon lord had spoken.

"Yeah I have no clue what he just said." Derek said to Kim.

"He said you suck dick! Shut up! It's all your fault!" Kim shouted at Derek, who stepped back and held his hands up.

"I'm sorry! I really am!" Derek pleaded with a smile.

"Quit speaking that barbaric language and acknowledge the higher power in this conversation." Sesshomaru stated calmly. He swore that Kim's eyes flashed red.

"Look Jesus, if I wanted to speak to a higher power, I would've worshipped you a long time ago!" Kim barked.

"Do not speak to me in such a manner."

"You're not my mom! Oh my God, I'm going to kill you!" Kim exhaled as a feral growl escaped her throat. Again, Sesshomaru kept his calm disposition in play, looking back at Kim for only a moment before looking away, staring off in the distance as he mowed over his thoughts on how to deal with Kim. He wasn't too concerned with Derek, who seemed to be his own worst enemy.

"Peace. I'm leaving." Kim stated, walking away with Derek. Kim felt her remaining patience fly away when she saw the demon lord land in front of her and Derek gracefully, like an angel sent from God…Kim hated angels.

"I'm not through with you," Sesshomaru stated simply, the dimming sunlight casting shadows across his attractive face. Kim wasn't feeling the attraction, though. She was tired of seeing him, hearing him and his refusal to quit following her and Derek around to make sure they weren't a threat.

"Kimbo…deep breaths, now." Derek coached calmly as he massaged the seething demon girl. Kim was trying to keep from transforming and tearing Angel Boy limb from limb, but she wanted to do it so badly.

"Do not be angry with me. It's you who keeps making a scene with your abilities." Sesshomaru said. He was curious to see what her true form was. He still couldn't tell what type of demon she was. She was still masking it.

"Alright, you want to see just how dangerous I am?" Kim asked him, a sweet and innocent smile pulled onto her face.

"I suppose."

"Tomorrow, come and find me one more time, I promise not to disappoint." And with that, Derek carried Kim away. Sesshomaru walked away without another thought thrown her way.

Kagome smiled as she walked to the village where her friends awaited her return with food and other needed supplies. She giggled when the small fox child landed on her shoulder excitedly, asking where his favorite snack was. She handed out everyone's snacks and settled down on the floor of the hut.

"Thank you, Kagome." The monk chirped.

"You're welcome, Miroku…Inuyasha?" Kagome asked when the dog demon stood up.

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha growled with distaste.

"What could he possibly want?" The demon slayer girl asked curiously.

"An ass whooping!" Inuyasha replied, running outside, Kagome right behind him, but everyone in the town watched with horror as the demon lord, Sesshomaru, hit the ground forcefully, his breathing labored as he slowly stood up, his golden eyes showing frustration and fury.

"Ahhh! Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed, pointing at the giant, dark creature slowly approaching the town. It towered over the huts and snarled as four, long tails whipped behind it impatiently, each tail white-tipped while green flames rested on the ends of each white-tipped paw. The pointed ears and narrowed face with the flaring red eyes.

"It's a fox demon!" Shippo yelled with awe and disbelief.

"It's dead!" Sesshomaru growled, pulling his sword out swiftly. The giant fox demon let out a warning growl as it took a step back, its four tails still slowly whipping around and stirring a soft breeze.

"A four-tailed fox demon?" Kagome asked Shippo with confusion. Shippo nodded as he crawled back to her shoulder.

"With age comes wisdom and power, the more tails, the more powerful the fox is." Shippo explained. Sesshomaru took a step forward, getting ready to wave his sword and fire off an attack, but the fox took another step back, barking warningly, as if telling him, "Don't do it or else."

"Heh, what seems to be the problem, Kim?" Sesshomaru asked tauntingly, unaware of the trouble he just stirred up for the black fox. Kim's blue eyes saw Kagome, who was staring back with disbelief.

"K…Kim?" Kagome asked, still wondering if she was dreaming. Kim looked back at Sesshomaru, snarling angrily and letting Sesshomaru know that his days on Earth were just cut down to mere minutes.

"You know this pathetic excuse of a demon?" Sesshomaru asked Kagome icily. He had no time to wait for a response as a black tail whipped the ground at which he stood. He flew up in the air and swung his sword, firing an orb of energy at the fox. Kim opened her snout and shot out green flames, cancelling the attack. She snarled as she stopped waving her tails, a blue aura emitting from her body. Next she began waving her tails side to side slowly, stirring up a breeze which soon turned into a gust as her tails began moving faster and out of sync.

"Your wind is not but a gentle breeze compared to what I've faced before." Sesshomaru stated, still floating in mid-air, his sword at the ready for another attack. Kim's snarl turned into what looked like a smile as the wind picked up even more. She leapt at Sesshomaru at lightning speed, swiping a flaming paw at him, missing him by a mere foot. Sesshomaru landed on the ground and shot a bolt of energy at her, but she had jumped again, almost landing on Sesshomaru, who swiped and cut her front right leg open.

"The fox is out of here!" Inuyasha howled, his sword at the ready. He swung it powerfully, sending out the wind scar, but Kim's gust was stirring and mixing the demonic winds, causing the wind scar to weaken and slow down enough for her to jump out of the way, somehow avoiding smashing any huts. Her target was Sesshomaru, but if Inuyasha wanted to interject himself into the battle, fine. She wasn't picky.

"This fox is my prey, Inuyasha." Sesshomaru growled, his eyes still locked on Kim. She looked around and saw all of the people frantically running for their lives and praying to a higher power that she be repelled. Kim ceased her powers, looking over at Kagome.

"Is it really you?" Kagome asked timidly. The fox let out a breath as the green flames swirled around her and minimized her back to her humanoid form.

"Uh, yeah, I can explain," Kim began, only to stop when Derek landed from the sky, still halfway transformed.

"That was totally awesome! Why did you stop?" Derek asked excitedly, finally seeing Kagome and instantly closing his mouth.

"You see, uh, Kagome, uh…it's all Derek's fault!" Kim insisted.

"Wait…what? I heard my name." Derek stated, interlacing his fingers nervously.

"No you didn't." Kim answered in English.

"So, that whole time that you and Derek were "lost in Tokyo," you were here?" Kagome asked frantically, still completely confused that her two American idols were demons that, obviously, were able to time-travel.

"Uh, well, yeah, pretty much." Kim answered candidly.

"What have you done here? Messed with history?" Kagome asked.

"I wouldn't know anything about that, but they are a nuisance." Sesshomaru remarked as he walked away, placing his sword back in its place.

"Well, nothing really…I mean, we met that wonderful personality dubbed Sesshomaru and we met some spit-fuck named Naraku, but that's about," Kim began, but was cut off by Kagome and Inuyasha.

"You met Naraku?" Kagome asked horridly, wondering what awful things could've happened had they become friends.

"Why didn't you kill him?" Inuyasha asked angrily.

"Calm the fuck down! He's not my responsibility! We just accidentally took him for a spin in the future,"

"Kim! You took him to modern-day Tokyo?" Kagome asked horridly.

"It was an accident!" Kim replied pleadingly.

"Did you learn anything about him? Weaknesses?" Inuyasha asked, still angry, but more calm than a few seconds ago.

"Uh, he's a glutton, he has a high resistance to alcohol, he likes porn, he likes puzzles," Kim listed off.

"Anything helpful?" Inuyasha asked impatiently.

"I'm sorry, please insert another coin for more information." Kim growled at Inuyasha.

"Wow, I'm real lost." Derek stated.

"Derek, just stand there and look pretty." Kim said back, still staring down Inuyasha heatedly.

"Kim, look, I'm not angry, I'm just confused and surprised." Kagome exhaled, massaging her temples.

"Yeah, well, tell your boyfriend to back the fuck up before I punk his ass." Kim growled.

"Oh yeah? Do it!" Inuyasha growled back.

"Inuyasha, sit!" Kagome shouted. Kim watched with a smile as the dog demon hit the ground.

"Hah! Eat dirt!" Kim taunted.

"Whoa," Derek groaned.

"What?" Kim asked.

"I think that weed was old." Derek replied.

"Eh, I'm not feeling anything. Hey Kagome, got any alcohol or do Derek and I have to go rob the nearest liquor store?" Kim asked with a yawn.

"Uh, find your own." Kagome replied tiredly. Kim smiled as she looked at Derek, mischief flashing in her eyes.

"Bum rush?" Derek asked excitedly.

"Heh, oh yeah," Kim replied, running away, Derek following her. Kagome watched them, still wishing that this was a dream, but whether she wanted to or not, she had to accept that fact of the coolest humans on Earth were demons obsessed with chaos and mindless violence.

Later on that very night, Kim snuck out of the village by herself. She was curious about what Sesshomaru did when he wasn't too busy stalking her. She followed the small trace of his scent, dipping in and out of the trees as she picked up her pace. Kim cloaked her scent entirely and finally found the demon lord and his small group. The young girl, Rin, snuggled against the dragon beast and Jaken lay against a tree. Kim finally looked over at Sesshomaru, who sat upright against another tree, his arm resting on his leg lazily. His eyes were closed but Kim knew that he wasn't asleep. He instantly stood up when a breeze crept though the trees.

"Where are you going?" Kim asked in a whisper when he flew away quickly. She followed him on foot, trying to keep her footsteps light and quiet. Sesshomaru landed on the ground, standing over a body and looking down with slight sadness. Kim walked up, not caring whether he was angry at her following or not. Kim looked down at Kagura, who seemed to be having a heart attack, minus the heart part.

"What are you doing here, fox?" Sesshomaru growled.

"Oh, now my name is fox? You don't see me going around and calling you "dog." Chill your nuts." Kim replied uncaringly. She couldn't care less what he called her; it just gave her a reason to nag him. Kim placed her hand on Kagura's chest and gave the wind witch some of her energy, healing the injuries and ceasing the attack that Naraku was giving her.

"Why are you saving me?" Kagura asked with a growl.

"Goddamn, a simple "thank you" would suffice, bitch." Kim said as she stood up. She turned around, stopping when she almost ran into Sesshomaru's chest.

"Why save her? You do not care for her." Sesshomaru stated.

"Look, err, dog, I don't like her, I don't like you, but I do like the confusion." Kim explained.

"I still do not understand. You make no sense."

"Exactly."

"Next time, just let me die." Kagura spat as she stood up.

"Alright," Kim replied, snatching Kagura's fan and opening it. Kim waved the fan and sent out green blades, slicing the wind witch up and putting her back in the same position she was before Kim arrived. Kim dropped the fan and turned around, Sesshomaru, again, in her way.

"You go too far," he growled, but Kim snorted in reply.

"Hahaha," Kim laughed.

"Perish!" Sesshomaru barked, whipping his sword out, but Kim had dodged it, sprinting away into the night, her mocking laughter still audible to Sesshomaru's sensitive ears.

Naraku smirked as he watched Kim in Kanna's mirror, laughing and athletically weaving in and out of trees. She was free-spirited and impulsive…and quite cruel. Though she annoyed Naraku, and intervened with his plans, she proved to be somewhat entertaining when left on her own.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm In Japan, Trick

"Drink all day, play all night, let's get it poppin', I'm in Miami, trick!" Kim sang drunkenly as she downed another shot that Derek poured for her.

"We're not in Miami, trick." Derek chuckled, also taking a quick shot. They both sat on Kaede's hut, not inside it like normal people would do. They weren't normal, so it made since not to act like they were.

"Hey, you're really loud!" Kagome called out.

"Haha, we can hear you, so you're being loud…not us!" Kim replied, throwing her cup at a man who was minding his own business, walking down the road from the market. It nailed him in the head and sent him to the ground.

"Nice shot, here's a shot." Derek chirped, handing Kim his glass.

"You two are really starting to piss me off!" Inuyasha barked as he jumped onto the roof with the other two demons.

"Your mom was into bestiality." Kim replied, handing Derek his glass back.

"Say what?" Inuyasha asked with a choke.

"Never mind. Go away." Kim exhaled.

"Don't talk about my mother! You never even met her!" Inuyasha hollered, pulling out his sword and pointing at Kim, who was unbothered by his outburst.

"Put it away, son. There's no use in getting your ass kicked." Kim stated as she finally looked Inuyasha in the eye. The dog boy glared at Kim heatedly, now gripping his sword with both hands.

"Shut up!" Inuyasha snapped as he swung his sword. Kim jumped and landed on the broad side of his blade. Inuyasha gasped but wasn't fast enough to dodge Kim's foot, which stamped his face so hard, the force plowed him through the roof and into the hut.

"Ahh! Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed when the half-demon landed on the floor, growling with pain. Kim looked down into the hole and chuckled.

"I love the smell of whiskey and destruction in the morning. Let's go!" Kim called to Derek as she jumped away, Derek following her without a word of protest. Kim had picked up on a familiar scent and decided to drop in on him and kill him.

"Oh? You picked up on me, I see." Yami chirped as he jumped down from his perch on the tree branch.

"Yeah whatever, just die!" Kim responded, going after him with her claws, but an invisible force levitated her in the air and stopped all of her movements.

"Whoa, shit!" Derek choked out when he saw Kim completely halted in mid-air.

"As you may have guessed, I am not by myself…I never am. If you're going to kill me, you have to get through my little friend here," Yami purred with a smile, another cloaked person walking out from the trees. They had an eerie blue aura surrounding them and Kim concluded that they had something to do with her being in mid-air. Kim landed on the ground softly and saw Derek fly after the cloaked person, only to be stopped like she had been. Without moving a muscle, they sent Derek flying backwards, crashing into a tree.

"Feh, telekinesis…that's rare." Kim stated as she stood up straight, eyeing them carefully. She then looked over at Yami, who seemed to be itching to get out of there, like he had somewhere to be.

"We have better things to do, let's move!" Yami called out, jumping away, his partner teleporting next to him. Kim shook her head slightly when she head Derek's groans.

"That was a cheap shot!" Derek barked as he stood up, rubbing his side with his hand. Kim shrugged in reply.

"Oh well." Kim yawned as she picked up a stick, walking away while twirling the stick around in her hand. Derek cracked his neck as he kept his pace behind Kim, looking around curiously.

"You know, I miss the clean air." Derek stated as he took a deep breath.

"Yeah, same here, oh," Kim stopped walking, letting Derek run into her.

"Hey, what's your…oh." Derek realized why Kim had stopped walking. She was staring up at a tree branch, where a woman stood, her arrow pointing back at the two demons. The woman had pale skin, long silky black hair pulled back, and emotionless chocolate brown eyes.

"You both have a jewel shard…hand them over." The woman demanded sternly, but not loudly. Derek kept his yellow eyes on her, but leaned forward into Kim's ear.

"She smells like a graveyard." He whispered in English. Kim nodded and kept her gaze on the woman.

"How do you know we have them?" Kim asked back.

"I can see their glow. Now, hand them over and I won't kill you." The woman replied coolly. Kim's eyes narrowed as the woman pulled the arrow back further, as if she planned to shoot anyway.

"Kimbo, what should we do?" Derek asked, understand a bit of what was going on. Kim looked at him and shrugged.

"My, my, my, Kikyo, you never cease to amuse me." A familiar deep voice chuckled. Kim and Derek saw the white baboon-cloaked man walk out from the shadows of the trees.

"Naraku and Sesshomaru must be having a competition over how many times they can ruin our fun." Derek murmured to Kim, who giggled and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, but at least Sesshomaru has the balls to actually show up." Kim said back sternly as she crossed her arms.

"What? Is that a puppet?" Derek asked, pointing to the baboon.

"Bet your monkey ass it is." Kim replied, smirking smugly. Kikyo turned her arrow at the puppet Naraku and fired it, completely destroying the puppet. Kikyo turned towards the two demons, but had no time to react when the force of Derek's spinning tackle struck her. Kikyo screamed as she fell out of the tree and hit the ground. A foot planted itself on Kikyo's chest, pinning her to the ground.

"Zombieland rule number two…Double Tap." Kim said before cracking her fingers and swiping at Kikyo's neck with her claws.

Later on that afternoon, Kim was exploring the lands around a small mountain, something drawing her attention there. She couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but it was calling to her. She sighed heavily and sat down against a tree, taking a break from her vigorous searching.

"Derek is back with Kagome, Naraku is out creeping, Sesshomaru is…hell no. I'm not going to ask him. I'll ask someone a little more trustworthy." And with that statement, Kim gave a low, but long, whistle. She waited a few minutes, looking around herself carefully until she heard a rustle in the bushes in front of her. A small, orange fox crawled out, walking up to Kim and sitting down, yawning tiredly. Kim stretched her legs out and leaned forward, crossing her arms.

"Hey, do you have a map of this area? A map that shows the geographical features?" she asked the fox. The small animal yawned again and shook its head in the negative.

"Are you kidding me?" Kim asked it with a growl of disappointment.

"Mraw?" the fox whined again. It shook its head in the positive after thinking for a minute.

"In that entire fucking library, the huge ass library, there isn't a map of this area?" Kim asked the fox again, a tone of disbelief rising from her.

"Rawl." The fox replied, shaking its head "yes."

"Ah, shit. Well, can you look around the villages and cities here and find me one? I kind of need it." Kim asked it with a pout. The fox stared back blankly, cocking its head questioningly. Kim stared back vacantly, wondering what it wanted.

"Mmgrr." The fox growled, flicking its tail irritably.

"Ohhh, alright. If you find me a map, I'll give you some food," Kim started.

"Growr?" the fox growled in a questioning tone, as if to say, "and what else?"

"Aaaaand, I'll give you something else, just let me think about it." Kim replied as she relaxed back against the tree. The fox nodded and nuzzled its head against her leg before running off quickly. Kim stood up and closed her eyes.

"Where are you?" she whispered to herself, focusing on her aura. She sent out a pulse and waited for a response. She felt a weak pulse reply to her not too far from where she stood. Kim opened her eyes and jumped to the spot where she landed on a bush, but unbeknownst to her, the bush was covering a hole, which she fell down.

"Ahhhhh! Goddamn! I've fallen and I can't get up!" Kim screamed and growled after her fall. She pushed herself up and shook off the dirt by staying on all fours and shaking her entire body. She looked up and cocked an eyebrow. A staff was sticking out of the ground. It looked a lot like the monk, Miroku's, staff, but with a small fox's head seemingly hovering in the middle of the razor sharp, golden ring of the staff.

"Hm, so it's been you. Convenient." Kim chirped, yanking it out of the ground and holding it with both hands, inspecting it carefully. She realized that she needed to get back and find food and something interesting for the little fox so she could have her map.

Sesshomaru sat on the grassy riverbank while Rin and Jaken joined forces to catch fish for their meal. The demon lord could sense Kim's frantic movements by her aura and now it was calm, like she was satisfied or found what she needed. Sesshomaru could only imagine what that could possibly be. He almost wanted to make sure that she wasn't planning on setting his lands ablaze, or simple annihilate them because she "had short attention span" or whatever excuse she had for that day. He decided against it to make his day simpler and relaxing.

"Ah, a fox." Rin pointed out when the small animal treaded through the water to get to the other side of the shallow river. Sesshomaru watched vacantly as the fox, with a scroll in its mouth, walked by him, stopped momentarily to recognize Sesshomaru, bow to him and then trot away carelessly.

"Did…did it just bow to you, my lord?" Jaken asked dubiously. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and leaned back against the tree.

"That was no ordinary fox. It was a knowledge seeker." Sesshomaru explained, opening his eyes when he felt Kim's aura grow stronger for some reason.

Kim grunted as the staff she held began increasing her aura's strength. She tried to let go of it, but it was hell-bent on making her insanely noticeable to any demon that wanted a piece of her.

"Gahh! You piece of shit!" Kim roared as she tried to control her aura, but she could smell demons coming towards her, hunting her down to fight her.

"Ok, so you want me to fight? Alright, I'll fight!" Kim snapped at the staff, looking up when a demon snarled and made it known to her. It was an ogre/squid looking demon, its skin a pale, sickly green color with ruby red eyes. Kim kicked it in the face and dodged another ogre-squid demon, letting it run into a tree.

"Quit dodging and fight! You're the one who decided to show off!" the first demon roared, charging after Kim with his claws outstretched. Kim swung her razor sharp staff and sliced his hand off, spinning around and firing a flame to finish him off.

"How can you expect to win if you can't even control your own staff?" the second demon asked her.

"How would you like an ass full of foot?" Kim asked it spitefully, aiming on killing him too.

Sesshomaru stood up and leapt away. Her aura was irritating him now. It was too strong and it seemed like she wanted to start a fight, so he fully intended to give her a fight. He landed on a tree branch and watched as several demons' bodies went flying backwards after Kim's explosive outburst of pure energy.

"Kim, what are you doing?" Sesshomaru asked calmly, acting as if nothing were happening. Kim glared at him darkly, holding the staff up defensively.

"You want to fight or watch?" Kim asked him.

"I'll observe…for now." Sesshomaru replied, watching her storm past him to finish off the demons.

"You little bitch!" one snarled as it swiped at her head.

"Suck a dick!" Kim barked back, shoving the staff in its mouth and watching it come out the other side. She swiftly kicked a smaller demon in the stomach and then kicked it again in the face, swinging the staff at it and killing it.

"Your aura is out of control." Sesshomaru pointed out as he leaned against a tree.

"No shit!" Kim hissed back, jumping in the air and doing an upward kick-flip, nailing a demon in the back and sending it flying sky-high.

"Why? Are you bored?"

"No! It's the staff! It did this, not me!"

"Then let go of it." Sesshomaru suggested. He saw Kim turn towards him, her eyes blazing with fury.

"You being a smart ass?" she asked him through gritted teeth.

"Only if you promise to be the dumb ass." Sesshomaru replied tonelessly. He sensed his impending doom and leapt in the air, feeling a blast of energy disintegrate the ground at which he stood. Kim stared down at the staff, which just allowed her to fire off a shot of energy like a canon.

"Wow…fucking A! Haha, I think I'm starting to like you!" Kim laughed as the staff allowed her left hand to let go of it. She looked up and saw the dog demon land lightly on the ground.

"Oops. It wasn't me." Kim said to Sesshomaru unconvincingly.

"Kim, are you in control now?" Sesshomaru asked, trying to keep a bit of patience.

"Haha, yeah." She replied sheepishly.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah…whoa," Kim stumbled to the side as she grew dizzy.

"What now?"

"I…ahhh! Oh shiiiiiiiit!" Kim screamed when she began transforming, but her resistance stopped it midway. Her four, fluffy tails whipped around behind her slowly as her fangs and claws elongated. Her blue eyes grew icier and her skin grew a few tones darker, but she remained normal otherwise.

"What's happening?" Sesshomaru asked, seeing her green aura become visible, but it wasn't angry, it was actually quite calming. Even odder, the aura surrounded her four tails, but also, it outlined a fifth tail, which became real within seconds. Her aura vanished instantly and she was able to drop the staff, but she didn't anyway. She kept it gripped lightly in her right hand.

"Oh, well, look at that…I grew a fifth tail." Kim stated simply, turning her head and looking over her shoulder, brushing her face with the tail to make sure it was real.

"All of that just to grow another useless tail?" Sesshomaru asked venomously, his hand gripping his sword. He was definitely going to kill her now.

"Yup! It's been so long since I've sprouted one that I completely forgot what it felt like. Hm?" Kim looked down when she felt a paw scrape lightly against her leg. There sat the patient little fox with a scroll in its mouth.

"Oh, hi…thanks." Kim chirped when it dropped the scroll in her hand. She walked away, flicking her middle tail and motioning for the fox to follow her. Sesshomaru watched as, once again, the fox jogged by him, stopping to bow and then continuing following Kim. Sesshomaru followed her as well, seeing as her destination was towards Rin and Jaken. Sesshomaru watched as Kim jumped and landed in front of Jaken.

"Hey can I have one of these? Thanks, you're a doll." Kim asked and answered quickly as she snuck a fish from Jaken's net.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Give it back! Lord Sessho…mmmmm! Mmmmmmm!" Jaken was muffled as one of Kim's tails wrapped around his upper body and clamped his beak-like mouth shut.

"Shut up." Kim growled as she handed the fish to the fox. The animal began tearing into it, watching Kim reach in her pocket and pull out her wallet.

"What's that?" Rin asked Kim, pointing at the wallet.

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you…and then he would have to kill me." Kim explained calmly, nodding towards Sesshomaru, who aimed the tip of his sword at her neck.

"Oh," Rin replied sadly. Kim pulled out a card and held it to the fox.

"Credit card?" she asked it. The fox shook its head in the negative. Kim frowned and put the card back, pulling out a twenty-dollar bill.

"How about my friend, Jackson?" she offered. The fox shook its head "no" once more.

"Benjamin?" she asked curiously.

"Grawl." The fox grunted as it bit the wallet and took it from Kim. The fox dropped it on the ground and pawed at Kim's license, which hid behind the transparent plastic.

"Aww, really? My license?" Kim asked it with a whine. The fox nodded curtly, letting her know that there was no bargaining. Kim stared the fox down a few seconds more before exhaling in defeat.

"You're killing me, dude." She groaned, handing the fox her license. The fox grabbed it with its jaws and trotted away, only stopping to bow to Sesshomaru and then disappear into the forest.

"Only if all foxes were like that one." Sesshomaru commented, his voice breaking the silence. Kim realized that she was still clamping Jaken's mouth shut with her tail and dropped him on the ground. He lay unconscious in the grass.

"Oops…haha, oh well." Kim laughed, placing her wallet back in her pocket.

"What is it you received from the fox?" Sesshomaru asked Kim, not really expecting a straight answer.

"Shit that you don't need to worry about." Kim commented as she walked away, staff in hand and five tails flicking slightly with her movements. She stared down at the staff and smirked with arrogance. She was one step closer to achieving all nine tails, which meant infinite knowledge and power in her language.


	8. Chapter 8

Weeeeee!

"When I step on the scene, y'all know me, 'cause I walk with a limp like an old school pimp or real OG." Kim rapped, Derek bobbing his head along. He was looking at Kim's staff inquisitively.

"So, you found it just like that?" he asked.

"Yeah and I got a map of this place, check it out." Kim said, unraveling the scroll and showing it to Derek, who smirked as he looked over it.

"What's the plan?"

"I'm still working on it, but look, those mountains south from here, legend has it that there is some kind of temple up there."

"So?"

"A temple that supposedly houses the all powerful Dragon Orb."

"What the hell is that?" Derek asked skeptically, handing Kim her staff back. She leapt down from the roof of the priestess' hut and was met with a tiny fox, which sat patiently for her. Derek smiled as he joined Kim.

"I didn't know Knowledge Seekers existed back here, too." Derek stated, petting the fox softly.

"They're everywhere and have existed as long as written languages have." Kim responded, holding her hand out. The fox dropped another scroll in her hand and awaited its award.

"Derek, give me your wallet," Kim said. Derek pulled it out and handed it to her, watching as she opened it, taking out his license and handing it to the fox. The animal ran away quickly as Kim handed Derek his wallet back.

"Gee, thanks Kim." Derek grumbled.

"Haha, sorry, I've run out of my fake licenses."

"So, what does the Dragon Orb, or whatever, do?"

"I don't know. It helps tell the future…allegedly."

"Are we going on an adventure?" Derek asked excitedly.

"Hell yeah." Kim chuckled back, jumping away with her eagle demon friend following her.

Derek yawned as he followed Kim up the mountain path; the chilled air causing bumps to rise on his skin. Kim leapt over a gap too wide for a human to survive, Derek following behind her easily. Derek stopped and quickly spun around, his keen, yellow eyes focusing to see far away.

"What is it?" Kim asked. Derek's eyes narrowed slightly as he turned to her.

"We're being followed…and watched." Derek said back in a low voice. Kim focused on the direction and smirked. Kagura was trailing them on her feather. Kim gripped her staff tighter and swung it, firing off a giant green orb.

"Huh? No!" Kagura screamed as the energy blast connected with her.

"Haha, yeah baby, yeah! Woooo!" Kim cheered, giving Derek a fist bump before the two demons continued on their way. Little did they know, Naraku had protected Kagura with a barrier at the very last moment, shielding her from the potentially fatal blast of raw energy from the fox demon.

"Damn you, Naraku. Why do you want me to follow them?" Kagura snarled as she continued ascending in the sky.

Sesshomaru turned his head, facing the wind as it brought new scents to his nose. He smelled the nearby stream and forest; he also caught the scent of Kagura, who seemed to be disappearing above the clouds. He decided to leave her be until Kim and Derek's scents lingered near Kagura's. Kagura had to be following the other two demons, seeing as Kim and Derek never started a pattern of following people they hated. The wind witch was Sesshomaru's only way of discovering Naraku's hideout and he couldn't let her be killed off just because Kim has a short fuse.

"Stay here. I'll be back." Sesshomaru said to Jaken before flying off after the scents.

Kim stopped walking when she heard Derek's steps stop as he once again turned around, his yellow eyes focusing once more.

"What now?" Kim asked irritably.

"The wind bitch again,"

"What? I just smite her ass a few minutes ago."

"Uh oh,"

"Don't tell me…Female Man?"

"Yup."

"Ugh! We can't fucking do anything without being stalked! They're worse than the Goddamn paparazzi! Let's go!" Kim insisted, picking up her pace, now in a sprint up the narrow mountain path. It soon ended; allowing the cliff to be seen and feared had the two been human. Kim took one leap and attached to it half way up. She held on and took another jump, looking at Derek, who got it in one jump.

"Hi." He chirped.

"Haha, shut up." Kim laughed, continuing on the narrow, rocky path.

Kagura kept trailing them slowly, opening and closing her fan impatiently. She wished that Naraku had sent Kanna with her so the girl could reflect the attacks back at the fox girl and her friend, but Naraku insisted that their lives were worth the risk of losing Kagura. He said that they were going to open doors to new power, limitless power.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sesshomaru's voice snapped her from her thoughts. Kagura landed on the path along with the demon lord, staring into his emotionless, but alluring golden eyes.

"Naraku sent me to follow them." Kagura replied, walking up the path to continue her mission.

"He sent you on a suicide mission." Sesshomaru corrected. Kagura stopped walking and whipped around, her red eyes filled with fury.

"You think I can't take them?" she asked angrily.

"They aren't to be trifled with carelessly." Sesshomaru corrected again. Kagura's fury dissipated slightly when she remembered feeling the mere force of Kim's attack blasting off the barrier. She would be dead if not for Naraku's sick and twisted fixation on tracking down the foreign demons.

"Whatever. I'm just following, I don't plan on engaging in battle with them." Kagura replied simply.

Derek watched as Kim continued to run at the temple, only to bounce of the barrier placed there by the monks who once lived there. It was an abandoned temple, but it wasn't left unprotected. Kim landed back on her feet, being pushed back. She held onto her staff and let out a feral snarl.

"Kim, it's a holy temple protected by…holiness. Being a demon, you can't do shit to it nor can you pass it." Derek stated.

"Well fuck! I can bust up into a church back home! How is this any different?" Kim hollered.

"Because the church ministers and priests haven't been trained in erecting barriers because "physical" demons are thought to be extinct. So we can walk into a church and feel sick, but we won't burn or anything." Derek explained.

"Doesn't the government know we exist? I mean, they ask me to use my transformation skills to replace the president when he's sick all the damn time." Kim exhaled, scratching her head lightly. Derek burst into giggles.

"Hahaha! I did not have sexual relations with that woman! Haha, Kim, you got that man impeached!" Derek laughed.

"Haha, so? And trust me, I had nothing to do with Bush…either of them." Kim giggled in response.

"Are you going to keep trying?" Derek asked. His only reply was Kim's five tails appearing, whipping and twitching as she prepared to dive at the barrier. She jumped back and catapulted herself with her tails, the five appendages flattening straight behind her to allow her to rip through the weakened barrier like a torpedo. Kim landed inside, but she was short on time. The barrier was still up and it was burning her skin. Kim ran inside and found the stairs leading down to the very bottom. She ran down, feeling the burn increase, meaning she was getting closer to the source.

"Ah, fuuuuuuck! Damn it!" Kim roared as it started to get harder and harder to move, slowing her sprint down to a sluggish walk. The skin on her right arm was now completely singed off all the way up to her shoulder. Kim finally approached the orb, which was emitting the heavenly blue glow. Kim let her aura flare to help protect her and make her movements easier. She brought her staff down on the orb, smashing it to pieces and instantly destroying the barrier.

"Much better. Now, where is the Dragon Orb?" Kim panted, taking a short break before walking back upstairs. She walked up and searched every room thoroughly. She began to get agitated when she could find or sense anything remotely powerful.

"Son…of…a…BITCH!" Kim barked when she found a series of letters and orders that explained that the orb had been moved to another, safer temple.

"You're a fool." A familiar voice growled. Kim rolled her eyes as she walked past Sesshomaru, ignoring his comment completely.

"Hey Kim, that Kagura bitch left." Derek called out when Kim walked down the palace steps.

"Falalalala, lala, la, la." Kim sang back in reply.

"Got it." Derek chuckled.

Later on that day, Derek and Kim sat on the fence of the farming fields, back in the village. Kim pulled out a pack of gum and placed a piece in her mouth, chomping on it quickly.

"Can I have a piece?" Derek asked.

"Mhm." Kim replied, handing him a piece and placing the pack in her pocket. They both chomped quietly, staring off mindlessly. Kim heard tiny steps approaching and looked down, seeing the young fox demon child, Shippo, making his way up to her.

"Kagome wants to talk to you." Shippo said to Kim, who nodded in reply.

"Cool, cool." Kim replied calmly and without moving from the fence. Shippo huffed, but noticed that they both were chewing and not swallowing. He even smelled the sharp, minty scent coming from them.

"Hey, what're you chewing on?" Shippo asked.

"Gum." They both replied simply.

"Oh…can I have some?" Shippo asked. His reply was Kim spitting her piece at him, nailing him in the space between his eyes. Shippo jumped back and felt his eyes tear up when the two demons erupted into laughter.

"Hahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Kim! Hahaha that was, haha that was sooooo meaaaaaan! Hahahaha!" Derek roared happily.

"Haha, that was jolly good aim, Captain! It hit him right where I wanted it to! Hahaha!" Kim laughed back. Shippo continued crying until he felt two arms lift him into the air.

"You two are jerks! What did you do?" Kagome yelled.

"You accuse us before asking if we even did anything? That's fair." Kim stated sarcastically while twirling a strand of hair with her fingers.

"Ugh…hey, is that gum?" Kagome asked curiously.

"Yeah." Kim and Derek said back.

"Can I have some?" Kagome asked, only to get nailed in the face with the piece Derek spat out.

"Hahahaha!" Kim laughed as she and Derek took off running before something bad ended up happening to them.


	9. Chapter 9

When It Gets Serious

Sesshomaru held the unconscious Rin in his only arm while looking around the dark place carefully. His eyes scanned every little bump and jagged edge, looking for the culprit who had taken the girl. It was a dark creature, a fast one that snatched Rin and flew away into a hole in the ground. Sesshomaru found Rin and was wondering why she hadn't woken up yet. The demon lord's head snapped in the direction of a hissing noise, but as soon as it came, it disappeared.

"Hm." He huffed, looking up and getting ready to fly out of the place, but his eyes widened when he realized that the hole, big enough for three of him to jump in side by side, was gone.

"Im…possible." He whispered softly, turning around when he once again heard a hissing noise. His eyes narrowed with irritability. What was going on?

Kim and Derek marched along the path, both dressed in army camouflage attire. They both just did a show, raising money for the American troops and decided to drop in on a visit. Twigs and branches snapped beneath their combat boots as they kept a steady pace in search of someone to annoy.

"We should just find some humans and scare them." Derek stated, watching as Kim slowed her steps. She found a random, disfigured tree and stood in front of it, her head cocked to the side.

"What?" Derek asked curiously, poking the gnarled tree a few times. Kim snatched his wrist and pulled his hand away from it. Derek watched with awe as a face appeared from the place he poked.

"You dare awake me?" the tree demon growled.

"Eh, calm down. He didn't know." Kim said to the demon plainly. Derek wiped his finger on Kim's shoulder while looking around quickly.

"You, Fox, is there a reason to bother me?" the tree demon asked. Kim stared back at it blankly.

"No…I didn't even know you were a demon. I just thought you were an ugly tree." She replied as Derek snickered happily.

"Insolent fox." The tree growled before transforming back into a regular looking tree.

"At least it looks prettier." Kim chirped as she and Derek walked away calmly.

Sesshomaru's ears perked when he heard familiar voices above him. His breathing ceased for a moment when he tried to hear what it was they were talking about. Their voices were faint, but he knew it was Kim and Derek, bickering about dumb things again.

"Dude, I didn't say testicles!" Kim barked with annoyance. The next thing she and Derek knew was a violent shake of the earth beneath them. They looked down and saw the ground dissolve, swallowing them entirely. Kim landed forcefully on her back, her mouth open as she coughed and gasped for breath. She heard Derek groan and cough as well.

"Now that I have your attention, take Rin and leave." Sesshomaru ordered, bending down and picking up the girl. Derek was the first to stand, holding out his arms and taking the young girl.

"Hey Kim, see you after you're done kicking his ass." Derek exhaled, sprouting his wings and lazily flying up and out of the dungeon.

"You…are…a…dead mother fucker!" Kim spat, just now sitting up and catching her breath.

"Heh, as if…hm?" Sesshomaru grunted when he realized there was no light shining down on them anymore. He looked up and gasped quietly. The hole he blew open was now closed, looking as if it didn't exist in the first place.

"Uh, shit?" Derek stated with confusion as he looked at the ground. The hole was gone. He decided to get out of the danger zone and get Rin to safety, knowing that Kim could handle herself, and Sesshomaru, just fine.

Kim leaned against the wall, rubbing her head softly. Ever since she had hit the dungeon floor, she was feeling sick. Kim let out another cough, the scent of blood immediately reaching her nose.

"My poison must have entered your system." Sesshomaru stated simply. Kim closed her eyes as a wave of pain ravaged her body.

"Let me…get this straight. You heard voices…and…decided to get our attention by…throwing poison at us?" Kim asked, her breathing becoming short and heavy as she slowly slid to her knees, her hand pressed against her chest as her other hand gripped the wall, her claws digging into the rock.

"Yes. You'll live." Sesshomaru retorted as he looked down the small path of the dungeon. It was dark, but his eyes could see perfectly fine.

"You little spit-fuck." Kim coughed, now on all fours, her breathing getting weaker.

"I'm going this way. Feel free to follow." Sesshomaru announced uncaringly.

"Yeah, yeah…good luck at the…Dumb Ass Awards." Kim responded bitterly as she found the strength to stand up. She began to wish she had brought her trusty staff with her. She stumbled down the dungeon path, her vision blurry and unfocused. She was mainly following her nose after the dog demon. She closed her eyes to help with the headache, only to trip and fall forward.

"Fuuuuuck." Kim let out a feral growl.

"Keep up, fox." Sesshomaru ordered sternly. Kim gritted her teeth and slowly forced herself on her feet. She opened her eyes and glared at Sesshomaru, who had waited for her to get it together.

"Shut the fuck up, dog." Kim snapped back, his scent angering her even more. Sesshomaru strode away quickly, not caring whether she kept up or not. Kim let out a frustrated whine when she realized her legs just couldn't keep up.

"Kim?" Sesshomaru called out, noticing that she fell so far behind that he had forgotten about her.

"Kim," he called again, his voice echoing from the large cavern walls. Sesshomaru could see that it wasn't natural at all. Something had carved this place out. The demon lord decided to wait for the fox girl, considering he was the one who poisoned her in the first place. He heard thunderous paws heading his way and ripped out his evil sword, which gave off a light from his aura. He saw a smaller form of Kim's five-tailed fox form seemingly trying to throw something off her back. The fox was at least eight feet tall on all fours and it doubled when she stood up on her back legs, snarling angrily at the dark cloud surrounding her.

"Hold still and let me kill it!" Sesshomaru snapped, aiming his sword at Kim and charging up an attack. Kim's five tails twitched and coiled in wavy circles as she barked at him warningly. Sesshomaru blinked and lowered his sword to see what she had planned for whatever was attacking her. Kim opened her snout and fiercely exhaled green flames. Sesshomaru heard a pain-filled screech as a black shadow flew away from the flames, hissing as it retreated into the darkness. Sesshomaru slowly slid his sword back in its place beside Tenseiga on his hip, watching as Kim fell over, completely motionless except for her ragged and weak breathing. Sesshomaru approached her slowly to let her know he meant no harm. He used his only hand turn Kim onto her stomach.

"Transforming only makes the poison more persistent." Sesshomaru stated mockingly, resting his arm at his side. Sesshomaru felt a powerful force strike him in the back, sending him flying into the wall. He softened his fall by kicking off the wall, only to be snagged by Kim's middle tail. The tail trapped his arm against his body as it coiled around his torso.

"Grrr…Kim! Release me now!" Sesshomaru barked heatedly, but the only response he got was his body being constricted powerfully.

"I still have enough strength to kill you!" Kim growled as she stumbled to her feet. Sesshomaru, for the first time in a while, felt a slight fear rising in his chest. He knew the state of mind Kim was in was murderous, but he soon regained complete composure when he realized that Kim was carrying him out. She sniffed around and found another hole, which was another trap for unsuspecting demons and humans. She leapt out and landed on the forest floor, gently placing the demon lord on the ground.

"You…helped me?" he asked quietly. He got a low whine as a response as Kim fell down again, transforming back into her humanoid form. Sesshomaru turned her on her stomach with his foot. He stared down at her, seeing she had lost consciousness.

"That fox is mine!" a voice hissed. Sesshomaru swung his arm, swiping his claws at the shadow creature, keeping it at bay. It wasn't injured; it just wanted to avoid something. Sesshomaru eyed it carefully, instantly remembering back underground when Kim shot the flames. It hated the light. Shadow. Duh.

"Hmph. The fox owes me." Sesshomaru stated, pulling out Tenseiga.

"She fought me off while poisoned and you stood by and did nothing…you owe her!" it spat, flying at Sesshomaru again. He held Tenseiga in front of him vertically.

"Then I shall repay her. Perish." Sesshomaru said back tonelessly, letting Tenseiga's heavenly blue glow dissolve the shadow demon entirely. The demon lord placed the sword back in its sheath, turning around to tend to the fox demon, only to stop when she was being pressed against the trunk of a tree by another, more wicked looking, demon girl. She was a tall, expressionless woman wearing black robes.

"You killed my scout." She stated, hold Kim up by the front of her jacket. The fox demon was just now nodding back to awareness.

"What do you want?" Sesshomaru asked, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

"I'm in search of a god, don't interfere." The woman said back, now staring Kim in the eyes.

"A god, huh? Haha, yeah, I'm your god, bitch." Kim chuckled back.

"No. You know where the one is…tell me." The woman demanded, her straight black hair as black as night, her blue eyes icier than Kim's.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kim responded with a smile. The woman let go of her and backed away, an eyebrow cocked.

"You're sick and drunk. I'll come back when your mind is a little more focused." The woman stated, purple flames engulfing her and helping her disappear, leaving Kim in a fit of laughter and Sesshomaru in a state of confusion.

"What is going on? Who was she?" Sesshomaru asked Kim, who was still giggling slightly.

"I have no clue. She seems familiar." Kim said back with a shrug. Sesshomaru realized that it was now a lot warmer; unlike the chill in the air when the shadow was still alive and that woman…it was like she was ice incarnate.

"She was a fox demon, no?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yup. Definitely stronger than I am. I say at least six tails."

"You are only one tail less."

"Uhh, yeah, about that…five tails are strong, but not that strong. Six tails are basically the transition into ultimate power. Put a five tail fox against a six tail fox and the six would dominate and toy with the five tails like a kid with a doll." Kim explained simply.

"She asked you where a god was. Aren't gods of holy status? What could a demon possibly do to a god, let alone use it?" Sesshomaru asked.

"She's not looking for a god. She's looking for THE god."

"Explain."

"Uh, actually, I don't feel like it."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm hungry."

"Kim,"

"I'm going to get something to eat."

"Get back here and explain to me about the god she was talking about." Sesshomaru ordered.

"About the what that the who was talking about when?" Kim asked back, intentionally trying to deflect the focus or piss Sesshomaru off to the point where he would just jump on his cloud and fly away.

"Just answer the question and I'll leave." Sesshomaru said, landing in front of Kim. She crossed her arms and giggled.

"Yeah, you said that last time and you're still bothering me."

"Is it your goal in life to annoy and infuriate me?"

"I only consider it a goal if it's accomplishable within the next eleven minutes."

"Answer my question."

"Alright, alright, alright…what was your question again?" Kim exhaled.

"What god was she talking about?"

"Who?" Kim asked.

"The woman."

"What woman? I don't know who your talking about." Kim replied smugly.

"Ugh, you sniveling little fox…what can I do for you to answer me?" Sesshomaru asked. Kim thought for a moment before smiling.

"Feed me. I'm hungry." Kim chirped.

Sesshomaru watched as Kim bit into the fish hungrily, humming a happy little tune to herself as she set the remains down beside her, grabbing another fish and spearing it on the stick, holding it over the fire. Sesshomaru held his own over the fire, staring at the fish mindlessly.

"I don't know his name, but this god, allegedly, is the one rumored to have created this very universe." Kim began, stretching her arm until she felt a satisfying pop. Sesshomaru kept quiet and finally bit into his fish.

"He was a demon, not a god, the humans just revered him as a deity. Anyway, legend has it, he was sealed within something or someone and anyone who can find him and release him will be granted with his powers." Kim said, finishing off her second fish. Sesshomaru nodded once, his face unreadable.

"I see."

"I don't know where he is though, so I'll probably be getting my ass kicked tomorrow. Haha, I'm going home today."

"Coward."

"Yeah, I'm sure that if you can't beat me, you definitely can't punk her. I'll just go home, drink some whiskey and keep living. And you can keep being stupid."

"Sounds unrealistic."

"Sounds wonderful."

"You're ridiculous."

"Meh…suck it."

Derek yawned as he snuggled beneath his bed covers. He and Kim had returned to their hotel room. They had a few shots and both hit the sack, wondering what to do tomorrow. Derek mentioned going back to fuck with Sesshomaru, but Kim made it clear that she didn't want to return, at least, not yet.


	10. Chapter 10

Are We Insane, You Ask? Well, Does Charlie Daniels Play a Mean Fiddle?

"Haha, damn, dude." Derek laughed quietly as he stared at Sesshomaru, but it wasn't really Sesshomaru. Kim was just practicing her transformation technique and she had it down quite well.

"Now all I have to do is…uh oh." Kim the Magnificent Sesshomaru said when the real Sesshomaru showed up, his eyes locked on her.

"It was her idea." Derek stated, pointing at Kim.

"Shut up, Derek!" Kim barked.

"Hahaha, it's so amusing hearing a chick's voice come from Sesshomaru's mouth, not going to lie!" Derek laughed, only to be sent flying by a hard fist to the face.

"How dare you take my image and defile it, fox." Sesshomaru growled icily, turning back around as Kim transformed back into her original form.

"Oh please, white boy, I didn't even get to the fun part." Kim growled back defiantly.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I have a question!" Rin announced happily as she ran up to the demon lord. The young girl stopped when she saw another girl who looked exactly like her standing next to the dog demon.

"Who's this bitch? Sesshomaru, are you cheating on me with another little kid? You stupid pedophile!" Kim shouted in a voice that sounded exactly like Rin's.

"Um…Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin stated in a questioning tone, pointing at the false Rin nervously. Sesshomaru held his sword to Kim's neck.

"You will do well to keep that vile tongue of yours in check." Sesshomaru said.

"Lalalalala!" Kim retorted, her tongue sticking out of her mouth and flapping wildly. The fox then laughed hysterically as Sesshomaru swiped away at her, but being in the form of a short little girl, it was easier to dodge the tall man's attempts to kill her. Kim transformed back and jumped into a tree, clinging onto the trunk and glaring at Sesshomaru threateningly. Sesshomaru placed his sword back on his hip and looked away.

"You have a question, Rin?" Sesshomaru reminded. Rin nodded and smiled.

"Yes, my lord, I do. I was wondering if you remember Kohaku?" Rin asked curiously. Sesshomaru's face stayed calm and his eyes showed no emotion.

"I do. What of him?" Sesshomaru asked back.

"I miss talking to him. I wish I knew where he was." Rin stated with slight sadness.

"Caw, caw, caw!" Derek squawked falsely as he landed on the ground next to Sesshomaru, who cast him a suspicious glance before looking up. The demon lord then felt something poke his ass and he immediately turned around, swinging his arm and lashing at the ground with his whip of green light.

"Hahaha! You missed!" Kim laughed, jumping backwards and dodging the whip a few more times before Sesshomaru ceased his attacks.

"Do not touch me so familiarly. We are not friends." Sesshomaru said sternly, but his only response was mocking laughter coming from both Kim and Derek, who were spitting comments back at him in their native tongue.

"Haha…hm?" Derek quickly stopped laughing and grew serious and alert, his head snapping in the other direction.

"Something big is heading this way." Kim stated, reaching behind her and grabbing her staff, which was hooked in her belt behind her. She pulled it out and frowned when she felt the jewel shard in her pocket pulse.

"Think it's our best friend?" Derek asked.

"I hope so, it's only been eleven minutes since we've last seen him." Kim replied dryly. She noticed that Sesshomaru had finally lost interest and was gone, leaving her and Derek to themselves.

Kim and Derek soon found themselves in quite the pickle when thousands of demons burst from the sky, roaring and snarling as they attacked the fox and eagle.

"Split up!" Kim shouted as she and Derek flew the opposite way from one another, slashing and kicking demons as they came.

_'You can't escape.'_ A nastily familiar voice echoed in Kim's head, but it wasn't Naraku's.

"Watch me!" Kim spat back, catching up with Sesshomaru, who was busy fighting his younger brother. The two dog demons looked over at Kim and the approaching demons, both turning towards her.

"Bitch! You brought those demons to us! I knew you were a traitor!" Inuyasha hollered angrily.

"Wait, what? No! I'm not with them!" Kim shouted back breathlessly.

"Nevertheless, you needn't walk this Earth any longer." Sesshomaru commented as he and Inuyasha swung their swords, firing off their attacks. Kim held her staff in front of her and summoned a barrier, feeling the explosive attacks glance off it.

"Heh, block this!" Inuyasha laughed, his blade turning red as he fired off another wind scar attack. Kim saw Sesshomaru's lightning attack as well and considered herself dead.

"What the," Inuyasha gasped when he saw the two attacks slowing down. The demons that were chasing Kim were also moving slower and the clouds in the sky began moving backwards almost. A black blur grabbed Kim by the arm and pulled her out of the way, allowing the time to return to normal, the two attacks slaughtering the remaining demons.

"Huh?" Kim breathed when Yami gently set her on her feet.

"You know, you've really got to watch yourself a little better. Don't forget, you're my paycheck and I can't have you dying." Yami remarked with a devilish grin. Kim blinked as she saw his nameless and quiet partner suddenly appear from nowhere. He turned and nodded to them and the cloaked ally disappeared as fast as they appeared. Yami turned back to Kim and patted her shoulder.

"You got lucky this time. See you around." Yami chirped as he leapt away.

"Yeah, right, up yours." Kim replied distantly, still completely dumbfounded at what had just happened.

"You can use flowers as dangerous weapons, fire off your aura as a destructive force, you can breathe fire and change your form and size…shall I add controlling time and space to the list?" Sesshomaru asked as he walked out from the shadows.

"Believe it or not, that wasn't me, cracker." Kim retorted, quickly pulling herself together. She could Sesshomaru had that look on his face that said, "Liar." She even saw his eyebrow twitch slightly, as if he wanted to cock it questionably.

"No? Then who was it?" Sesshomaru asked back.

"Uhh, I don't know, but it wasn't me. Trust me, if it was me, you'd be talking slo-mo right now…for real." Kim stated, not realizing that the hip, new lingo that she just spoke flew right over the oblivious dog demon's head, noticing his blank, and yet, still questioning, face staring back.

"Just die." Sesshomaru growled, raising his hand as the familiar green light shone from his hand. Kim jumped up and dodged his lunge. She flipped over in the air and came back down, slamming her boots into his back and squishing him to the forest floor on his stomach. Sesshomaru lay motionless, his hand still outstretched as he drank in what had just happened. She pinned him…now she was standing on his back like she owned him.

"Look, it wasn't me." Kim insisted, stepping off him. She noticed that he didn't attempt to move.

"Well aren't you going to get up?" she asked. Sesshomaru turned his head and looked at her, his face now showing one solid emotion. Confusion.

"You…aren't going to kill me?" he asked slowly.

"Uh, no. Now get up before someone sees you, stupid." Kim remarked condescendingly, grabbing the back of his armor and helping him up.

"What are you doing?" Sesshomaru asked quickly when he felt her hand brushing off his armor harshly.

"I left dirty boot marks on your back." She replied simply, finishing the cleaning and coughing.

"What is wrong with you? You're acting odd." Sesshomaru shot. Kim blinked as she gripped her staff.

"Uh, nothing. I'm just being me." Kim replied. Sesshomaru took a step forward and sniffed the air. Something was missing…something from her scent.

"No alcohol." Sesshomaru stated stoically. Kim took a big step back and shrugged.

"Ran out." She explained shortly.

"You should run out more often. You are much more pleasant."

"Pleasant?"

"Bearable. I meant bearable."

"Yeeeaaah…whatever." Kim replied uncertainly. She looked up when she saw Derek fly overhead, doing a circle before landing next to her.

"Hey uh, we've…we've got problems." Derek stated simply, pointing in the direction behind him with his thumb.

"We as in all of us or we as in you and me?" Kim asked him.

"Yeah, well, that's debatable." Derek replied with a nervous laugh.

"Explain." Sesshomaru ordered.

"You know, big mob of demons chasing me and I'm here which means they'll be here in T-minus…now!" Derek shouted when he ducked to dodge a snake demons lunge at him. Sesshomaru swung his arm and slashed the snake's head off effortlessly.

"You call this a problem?" Sesshomaru said haughtily. His tone made it sound like he was about to break out a few mocking chuckles, but he remained reserved.

"Well excuse me Mr. Badass." Derek retorted sourly, hearing Kim snort and giggle.

Later, after watching Sesshomaru slaughter all of the demons, Kim and Derek followed him back to the small camp that his followers made for themselves. The two American demons kept a distance behind Sesshomaru, still not entirely trusting of him and his temper.

"So, time just slowed down? Just like that?" Derek asked Kim after she had told him what happened.

"Yeah it was…do you remember that Yami dude and his little Caped, Masked and Silent Crusader partner?" Kim asked, lowering her voice to a quiet, untraceable whisper.

"Yes I do." Derek replied.

"It wasn't Yami, it was, you know, the other one." Kim said.

"Why are we whispering?" Derek asked.

"Yes, why are you whispering, given the fact that I can hear you perfectly fine?" Sesshomaru called from the front.

"Oh really? What did I just say?" Kim asked combatively.

"You should know, you said it."

"Yeah that's what I thought, dick-bag."

"Kim, I like living, try not to ruin it for all of us." Derek whined, keeping his keen eyes on Sesshomaru, watching for any sudden angry lash-outs.

"Meh." Kim huffed with boredom. She was banking on Sesshomaru lashing out to stir up some excitement, but no such things transpired.

When they finally arrived at the small camp, the smell of well-cooked fish entered Kim and Derek's nostrils and they immediately made themselves at home, taking some fish and inhaling them like life itself depended on it.

"Hey, that one was mine!" Jaken screeched angrily, only to be silenced by one of Kim's five tails wrapping around his head and squeezing until he lost consciousness.

"Shut the fuck up, dude." Kim exhaled, finally dropping the green imp on the ground.

"For real. He's so fucking annoying. He makes my ears want to commit suicide." Derek commented, finally realizing that Rin was staring at him hardcore. He stared back and blinked as he looked down at the fish he was ready to devour. Derek sighed as he handed the fish on the stick to Rin, who instantly became happy and smiled.

"Thank you!" she said.

"Yeah, don't mention it." Derek replied with depression. It was the biggest fish there and it was being eaten by the smallest being, not counting Jaken because he was unconscious. He felt Kim nudge him with her arm and he looked at her.

"Shh." Kim giggled, pointing at Sesshomaru, who was sitting against a tree, his eyes closed and his breathing slow and steady. Kim pressed her hands together and slowly transformed into a small, brown squirrel with a bushy brown tail. She scampered up the tree and rested right above the demon lord's head. A few quiet moments went by before Kim leapt onto his head, making Sesshomaru react accordingly: jump up, smack whatever is on my head, oh it jumped off and I just smacked myself in the head.

"Hahahaha!" Derek laughed as Sesshomaru looked up the tree, glaring at the small squirrel dubbed "Kim," who sat innocently on the branch, flicking her single tail tauntingly. Sesshomaru sat back down and gave one final warning look at Kim before closing his eyes. Kim ran down the tree in a spiral pattern and ran up to Derek.

"You have nuts in your mouth." Derek chirped as the squirrel let out what sounded like laughter as Kim took back her original appearance.

"Your nuts because I took them from you years ago." Kim responded.

"And I am proud to admit that." Derek said with a smile of arrogance.

"Why did she take your nuts? Were they that mouth-watering?" Rin asked curiously and innocently. Derek and Kim stared back, both holding their breaths and letting out small snorts as they tried to make the tickling sensation go away.

"Rin, do not interject yourself into their conversations. They are not what they seem." Sesshomaru's steady and calm voice ordered.

"But I do not understand, my lord. They are just talking about nuts." Rin replied. Derek and Kim were now doubled over in pain as the silent laughter raked their bodies.

"As I said, it is not what it seems." Sesshomaru replied.

"Alright, Lord Sesshomaru." Rin agreed, looking back at the convulsing demons, who were no longer holding back and laughed warmly until they ran out of breath.

"Haha, cute kid, cute kid." Derek stated as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Yeah, Brangelina would be pissed if they knew what they didn't have." Kim replied with a laugh, sending her and Derek into more fits of joy.

"Haha, oh God, my stomach hurrrrrts!" Derek whined with a smile.

"Nuts, Derek." Kim spat quickly, making him laugh even more.

"You don't have to be here." Sesshomaru announced.

"Are you nuts? It's great here!" Kim replied energetically as Derek fell over, convulsing with silent laughter.

"Hahaha, Kim, stop it!" Derek whined happily.

"Insufferable excuses of demons." Sesshomaru growled under his breath.

"Oh, me so horny! Oh, oh, me so horny!" Kim sang as Derek sat up.

"I love that song!" he said.

"'Cause me so horny." Kim said back, giving him a high five.

"Why do you do that?" Rin asked.

"Do what?" Derek and Kim asked back.

"Smack each other's hands." Rin said.

"Oh, where we come from, it's a gesture for "good job." It's lame, but a hard habit to break." Derek explained, holding his hand up and smacking the air.

"Can I try?"

"Sure, give me one," Derek said, holding his hand out to her. Rin walked up and smacked his hand with her.

"Yeaaah, nice one." Derek said, seeing Kim poke Jaken with a random stick she had found.

"I think he's dead." Kim commented in a tone that made it sound like she found dead bodies everyday. Jaken opened his eyes as he sat up.

"Zombiiiiiiiie! Ahhhh!" Derek screamed as he leapt up.

"I got it…die zombie!" Kim called out, stomping Jaken into the ground with her foot.

"Die zombie!" Derek shrieked, also stomping Jaken into the ground. They both took turns for a minute or three and then stopped to observe the damage. Jaken lay there, unconscious and beaten.

"Good work!" Derek shouted.

"Hoorah! Rah!" Kim shouted back, giving Derek a hard high five.

"If there really are any gods, they will strike these two down right now." Sesshomaru grumbled to himself. He waited a minute and exhaled.

"Ridiculous." He growled with distaste after nothing happened.


	11. Chapter 11

Hits From the Bong

Naraku stared into Kanna's mirror with idle interest. Nothing was happening today. A powerful monk and priestess protected the large city that Inuyasha's group resided in. Sesshomaru's group, well, was in the safety of Sesshomaru. Kim and Derek had gone back to the future. Ashley Simpson can't rap. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, which bothered the anarchic half-demon immensely.

"Kanna," Naraku began, still unsure of why he even bothered to say her name.

"Yes Naraku?" her small, eerie voice answered.

"Surely there is someone around that I can terrorize…correct?" he asked.

"Yes, you can terrorize the nearest human village."

"No. They are too easy to frighten. I'm looking for someone tougher."

"Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Not that tough."

"Kim and Derek have returned." Kanna stated, showing the image of the two demons leaping out of the well.

"They don't know fear…just annoyance." Naraku said, watching the two demons snort and stumble over each other.

"They appear to be drunk."

"Oh, then that changes everything." Naraku chuckled as he stood up. He was surprised with himself. He was so bored that he himself was going in the flesh.

Kim and Derek didn't even have time to react. They were so fucked up that the pretty purple smoke that didn't allow them to breathe was so pretty that they didn't care to breathe. The next thing they knew was hitting the cold stone floor of a dungeon that was surrounded with spider webs.

"Ah, dude, check it out…cotton candy, dude!" Derek said happily and with a hazy smile. Kim snorted and nodded in reply.

"Yeah dude." She giggled. Naraku remained in the shadows, curious to see what their reactions would be under such obviously heavy intoxication.

"Dude, Kim, I so want a hamburger right now…not even joking." Derek stated, looking around the room wide-eyed.

"Same here. I'm so fucking hungry, I could eat a cow." Kim exhaled.

"Moooooo!"

"Derek, stop, I know it's you."

"It's not me I swear." Derek insisted. Kim stared at him and frowned when she heard another cow mooing.

"Dude…I want that fucking cow." Kim said as she and Derek burst into more snorts and laughter. Naraku sighed heavily. They didn't seem to notice that they weren't in the forest anymore. He also couldn't understand what it was they were saying.

"You two bore me." Naraku stated as he walked out. He noticed that his mere presence seemed to frighten and hypnotize the both of them.

Kim and Derek stared back at the man-sized hamburger, which was dancing and singing to them tauntingly.

"I'm a burger, I'm a burger, with me you're gonna fly! I'm a burger, I'm a burger, come on, let's get high!" the juicy hamburger sang while dancing. Kim and Derek stared back with confusion, happiness and shock all wrapped into one.

"Dude, we're already high." Derek replied to the hamburger.

"What the hell is the matter with you two?" Naraku asked with a growl, noticing something was off…even for them.

"I've got better shit than you! Come on, come smoke with me!" The hamburger insisted.

"Oh, ok." Derek chirped tranquilly while smiling slightly.

"Dude, I want that fucking hamburger." Kim whined as she tilted her head back, letting the rushing feeling swarm from her head to her body. Naraku instantly grew impatient and summoned his demonic aura, hoping to snap them back to reality. Kim and Derek flinched with shock as they huddled near each other.

"You two are starting to annoy me!" Naraku roared angrily. Kim and Derek stopped cowering in fear and frowned.

"Who are you?" Derek asked in Japanese, forgetting that he was "still in America."

"I am Naraku." The spider hissed under his breath.

"Charlie Murphy!" a voice sounded from the smoke. Kim and Derek smiled as they nodded.

"I can roll with that. Hey, Charlie!" Kim chirped, waving happily. Naraku blinked simply and waved back, not in response to her, but to see if she even knew he was there. No reaction.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh my God! Kim! Kiiiiiiim! The floor is moving! It's moving! Ahhhhh!" Derek immediately began to freak out as he jerked around and his eyes wide open.

Naraku watched with boredom as the two demons began slowly crawling across the floor on their stomachs, shouting things to one another loudly, as if they were in the middle of escaping a battle. After what seemed like hours, they stood up and came back to reality…kind of.

"Whoa, hey," Kim exhaled, finally acknowledging the spider's presence.

"Hellooooo…Captain." Derek snickered while winking at Naraku, who immediately took a step back and covered his crotch with his hand absentmindedly. Derek grabbed him there sober, whatever he was on right now just may result in Naraku doing things he never imagined doing with another man.

"You got anything to eat up in here? I'm fucking starving." Kim growled.

"I do not need such things, so no, I do not." Naraku replied simply.

"You fucking ate with us." Kim snapped.

"I do not need it now."

"Well I do! So get me some fucking food!"

"Are you ordering me around?"

"YES! FOOD! NOW!" Kim roared as her five tails appeared with a flash of green light, her fangs and claws elongating. Naraku erected a barrier around him, flinching when one slam of Kim's fist sent ripples shivering through the barrier.

"You have some nerve," Naraku began.

"Foooooooooooooooooooooooooo," Kim began roaring.

"Shh…silence,"

","

"What is the ma…shut up! All right! I'll get you some food!" Naraku snapped.

"ooooood! Oh, that's more like it." Kim finished with a charming smile. She and Naraku looked over at Derek, who was petting a rotted human skull that was caught in Naraku's web.

"Who's a good kitty? Who's a good kitty? Yes you are! Purrrrrrrrrr!" Derek giggled, still stroking the "kitty."

Naraku watched Kim and Derek devour every edible thing they could touch. The spider stood at the other end of the room, in the shadows and with his arms crossed inside the silky sleeves of the royal robes he wore. His crimson red eyes were locked on Kim, mostly because she interested him more than Derek, who was just an absolute moron. That and Derek grabbed Naraku's junk and ever since that moment, Naraku never liked him too well.

"Quit…staring at me…fuck-face." Kim growled in between chews and swallows of her food, keeping her eyes focused on her bowl.

"You are in my territory. I will stare at what I please." Naraku retorted darkly.

"Bitch I will poke your mother fucking eyes out! Don't make me get up from this table!" Kim snapped heatedly, waving her chopsticks around menacingly. This only made Naraku grin with amusement. The only thing that would've upset him was if she threw the chopsticks at him and somehow managed to poke his eyes out…which she did with awfully amazing aim for someone who was high and drunk.

"Why…why you little," Naraku howled, pulling the chopstick out of his left eye. She missed his right. He held his hand over his injured eye and glared back at her with his good eye.

"I say what I mean and mean what I say," was the only thing she could say at that moment. It was taking every fiber of her being not to burst out into hysterical laughter.

"Aye, matey! Put a good eye-patch o'er that and sail the seven oceans with us! Argh, Derek's gotta go drain the sea monster now." Derek shouted in a pirate accent as he ran out of the room hurriedly. His random outburst had sent Kim into a painful and silent fit of laughter. She was doubled-over on the floor, tears streaming down her face as her mouth was pulled into a silent howl of joy.

"Ah, much better," Naraku said after his eye completely healed itself. He looked over when Kanna walked inside, holding her mirror up. Kim had stopped laughing and was observing the small girl carefully.

"A girl has wandered onto the castle grounds," Kanna stated. Naraku felt a smirk tug at his lips when an idea sprouted into his head.

"Bring her in and don't let her die." Naraku ordered as Kanna disappeared as mysteriously as she came.

"I just saw a little white girl…oh," Derek closed his mouth when Kim and Naraku were now mere feet apart from each other, slightly glaring into each other's eyes, as if trying to read the other's thoughts.

"I'm going to give my guest a warm welcome. Do as you please." Naraku said, walking out and leaving Kim and Derek alone and confused.

"What guest?" Derek asked Kim in English, just in case someone was eavesdropping.

"Some girl wandered onto the castle grounds." Kim replied simply.

"Oh shit…he's going to rape her." Derek said quietly.

"That or just scare the living Hell out of her." Kim insisted.

"Kim,"

"It's not my problem, Derek."

After a few hours of waiting on signs from Naraku, Kim and Derek decided to investigate. He did say, "Do as you please," which meant they could fuck his place up and get away with it. Kim followed her keen nose back down to the dungeons and stopped to hide behind the sliding door. She motioned for Derek to be silent as she gently eased the door open enough for them to peek through. Kim's eyes widened when she saw the scene before her. Naraku was just pulling the robes back over his bare and muscled body, paying no attention to the pale and lifeless body of the girl on the floor at his feet.

"Oh," Derek gasped quietly when he noticed she was bloodied and missing the bottom half of her clothing. Naraku finished dressing and bent down, staring at the girl with a satisfied look upon his face. He traced her lips with his fingers gently, a low chuckle emitting from his throat. Kim and Derek plastered their hands over their mouths to keep the outbursts quiet.

"What a shame. It seems I was a bit too rough with her." Naraku said aloud, looking over at the door and staring directly at Kim.

"Kim," Derek began, but was stopped when he felt his body being shoved backwards as Naraku blasted the doors down with his tentacles, chasing after the two demons.

"Just run, Derek!" Kim's voice sounded from behind the eagle, who immediately stopped and let his golden aura surround him.

"No, Derek!" Kim snapped, but it was too late, he was already transforming into his giant form.

"Heh, fools." Naraku chuckled when he saw the jewel shard fuse with Derek's body. He gripped his almost complete jewel and felt his control over Derek become complete. Kim stopped in her tracks when she looked up at the black eagle with the gilded feather-tips and yellow eyes that looked empty of recognition.

"I may not be able to harm you, but can you harm your dear friend?" Naraku asked Kim, who turned and glared at him icily. She threw her shard on the ground and clenched her jaw, unable to say anything.

"No? Well, I am quite sure that Derek feels quite the opposite. You see, he is tired of being second in command to you and so, I will grant his deepest wish and maybe if he can bring you to me alive, well, maybe my desires could be met as well." Naraku said coolly, his eyes focused on the jewel in his hand. He felt a slight breeze pick up and frowned when he saw cherry blossom petals floating past him. He had completely killed off every living thing around his castle, but he soon found out that it was Kim, who being a nature-based sorceress, was able to breathe life into what she needed.

"You see, Naraku, Derek is second in command for a reason and that reason…is simply being…that," Kim cut off as she slowly raised he right hand in the air.

"Continue." Naraku said carefully.

"I am the Head Bitch In Charge and you, Derek, Sesshomaru, Inuyasha and all of the gods in existence will just have to deal with it and as my friend Rick James once said to Charlie Murphy before punching him in the forehead…Unity!" Kim sang with a laugh as she made a fist and the cherry blossoms were torn into pieces and a sweet aroma filled the area. Derek cawed sleepily before hitting the ground, knocked out cold. Everything around Kim was soon put under a deep, unbothered sleeping spell, including Naraku. Kim picked up her jewel fragment and snatched Naraku's almost completed jewel from his hand.

"Stupid rat bastard STILL doesn't know who he's fucking with…get up, Derek." Kim ordered, seeing the large eagle flop up on it's feet, cawing happily as he let Kim jump upon his back, flying away lazily.


	12. Chapter 12

Yeah Right

"Dude, he raped a girl!" Derek screamed at Kim, who was taking a long drink of water from the bottle Kagome had handed her.

"He did? Naraku?" Kagome asked with surprise, thinking that the evil half-demon man wasn't interested in the pleasures of the body.

"Yeah, I thought he was gay, too, Kagome." Kim remarked.

"No, I just thought he wasn't interested in physical pleasure." Kagome replied boldly.

"I don't think he is. Judging by the look on the girl's dead face, he did more than rape her." Kim said, handing the empty bottle back to Kagome.

"He was gone for three fucking hours! Yeah he did more than rape her! Probably scared the living daylights out of her!" Derek shouted. He was a good guy who didn't believe in picking on helpless girls…or any girls for that matter.

"Calm down, she's dead now." Kim growled.

"Stop it!" Derek snapped.

"Hahaha!" Kim laughed. She didn't get why he was such a big weak girl advocate.

"I just can't believe you snatched the jewel away from him." Kagome said, holding the almost complete object in her hands. It was still a blackish color, but it wasn't as dark anymore, meaning her purification powers were slowly working.

"Yeah, I'm amazing." Kim chuckled arrogantly, putting her sunglasses on and laying on her back on the floor.

"Yes you are." Kagome chirped happily. She was still wondering what should be done about Naraku, who was probably spitting fire and strangling everyone in his path by now.

"I still don't trust you! He just happens to bring you to his hideout and lets you do whatever you want?" Inuyasha asked as he barged into the hut, his arms crossed and a skeptical look carved into his young face.

"Well, Derek and I were pretty fucked up. I think he was thinking that we were no harm to anyone but ourselves at that point." Kim explained with a giggle.

"Dude, remember the fucking hamburger? Hahaha!" Derek laughed.

"How could I forget? Oh wow, that shit was fucked up real bad." Kim replied.

"Yeah whatever! I still think you guys are allies with him." Inuyasha growled.

"Fuck you and your couch!" Derek snapped irritably.

"For real! I'll let you know when my Give-A-Damn-O Meter starts to work! Don't make me get up from this floor, you little pin-head!" Kim snapped heatedly, making Derek laugh even harder.

"Remember when your threw your…hahaha…chopstick into Naraku's eye? Hahaha, don't make me get up from this table! Hahahahaha!" Derek howled as Kim began laughing as well.

"Dude, I wasn't even trying to poke his eye out, I swear! It just…hahahaha! He was sooooo pissed!"

"You threw your chopstick into Naraku's eye?" Kagome asked with shock and a slight giggle at the image itself.

"It was an accident, but yes I did." Kim said proudly.

"It was jolly good aim, Captain." Derek chirped, him and Kim bumping their fists together.

"Yes it was."

"Hm, this staff is quite odd." Miroku said from the corner of the room, inspecting Kim's staff closely.

"Your mom is odd." Kim snapped back harmlessly.

"I don't remember my mother." Miroku said back blankly, wondering why she would bring his mother up.

"Eh, forget it." Kim grumbled, lying back down and cushioning her head on her arms.

"Yeah, get him!" Derek breathed as he continued tapping away on his Nintendo DS.

Inuyasha stood off in the field by himself, taking in a deep breath through his nose. He picked up on the usual scents, nothing out of the ordinary. He then decided it was a good time to practice with his Tetsusaiga He pulled the blade out and felt it pulse in response to his aura.

"Alright, let's see if I can figure out a more effective way to use you." Inuyasha said to it quietly.

"Bitch this is my house! Arf, arf, arf, arf!" a dreadfully familiar voice barked and before Inuyasha could even turn around, a powerful force struck him in the back and sent him flying to the ground, knocking the air out of him. He felt another, bigger, body land on him, but the man was already on his feet and standing in front of Inuyasha.

"Why you…huh?" Inuyasha stopped all movement when he saw Sesshomaru standing there, a taunting smirk pulled onto his lips.

"Oops. Did I hit you too hard?" Sesshomaru asked with no concern in his voice whatsoever. Inuyasha stood up and aimed his blade at his brother.

"You hit like a little old lady!" Inuyasha spat.

"Oh, ohhh Grandma! That feels soooo good!" Sesshomaru hollered loudly while pretending to beat off. Inuyasha felt his mouth drop open with surprise. What the hell was the matter with Sesshomaru? Before any questions could be asked, the elder dog demon was already running off towards the village, his chuckling audible and evil.

"Oh like hell you will!" Inuyasha growled, flying after his crazed brother hurriedly. He saw Sesshomaru land in front of the old priestess's hut and in a green flash, transformed (back) into Kim.

"Th…that was you?" Inuyasha asked Kim carefully.

"Haha, duh! Tell me when your brother starts doing that, ok?" Kim laughed, her hands placed on her hips.

"Yeah well ahhhhhh!" Inuyasha roared as he was tackled to the ground once more by a powerful force. Inuyasha landed on his back and went wide-eyed when Derek put his crotch in the dog demon's face.

"Tssssss! You just got pissed on, boy! Woooooo!" Derek screamed, slapping Inuyasha on the chest with his hand harshly. Derek then, like lightning, flipped backwards off the young half-demon and landed back with Kim. An exorcism bead hit the ground where Derek was only milliseconds before and let off an electrical discharge before returning to a normal bead.

"Ye will do well to control your malicious impulses in my village." Kaede warned sternly as she walked between Inuyasha and the two demons. Kim and Derek gave off groans and whines, but walked back into the hut to find something else to torture, I mean, do.

Kagome and Sango stared as Kim and Derek took turns torturing themselves by placing their hands on the exorcism beads, burning and electrocuting themselves, screaming in agony and then laughing when they took their hands off.

"Ahhh! Ahhhh! Mamaaaaa! Ahhhhahahahaha!" Derek howled, pulling his blackened and bloodied hand back and letting Kim take her turn.

"Ahhhhh! Mother fuckerrrrrrr! Ahhh! Bahahaha!" Kim laughed, also pulling her black and bloody hand away. Derek took his next turn and then Kim took hers.

"I…I just don't get it." Kagome said quietly, unable to take her eyes off the scene before her.

"Well, there are some demons who will resort to torturing themselves when they get bored." Sango explained, still in disbelief that it had been going on for a while now.

"Ahhhhhhh! Ahh, ahh, ahhh!" Derek whined, falling onto his back and letting a few tears run down his face.

"Haha, I win!" Kim cheered, throwing her hands in the air.

"Ow, ow, ow." Derek breathed as he sat up, shaking his injured hand gently.

"You guys are morons." Sango said out loud.

"Your mom." Kim and Derek replied back simply.

Sesshomaru sat against a tree and breathed in the air, slowly detecting and picking up every scent around him. He hadn't seen much of Kim and Derek in the past few weeks, which was pleasing to the demon lord. Whenever they were around, he felt like he needed to keep his eye on them to make sure they weren't going to do anything stupid. What bothered him the most was that Rin had taken a liking to the two demons, especially Derek, who treated her like a little sister.

"My lord, look, it's that fox again." Rin announced. Sesshomaru opened his eyes and looked over, where the little orange fox was trotting by, stopping to bow to Sesshomaru and continue on his journey.

"Stop where you are." Sesshomaru ordered, seeing the fox stop and turn around, giving him a questioning look.

"Come," Sesshomaru said, watching the fox walk up to him and sit by his side. The fox was holding a small green orb in its mouth and seeing Sesshomaru's eyes staring at it, the fox gently set the orb on the ground.

"Hm, what would Kim possibly want with this?" Sesshomaru asked aloud, picking the green orb up and holding it between his thumb and two fingers. He looked it over carefully, but it turned out to be just an ordinary trinket. He handed the orb back to the fox and sighed.

"On your way." The demon lord dismissed the fox and returned to his rest.

Kim frowned as she held the orb in her opened hand, glaring at it intensely. Derek saw her expression and rolled across the floor to her, too lazy to get up and walk.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Sesshomaru touched it! Ew gross!" Kim snapped, dropping the orb on the floor. She saw the fox waiting patiently for its meal and prize. Derek giggled and handed the fox a few chips from Kagome's bag and then dug deeper, finding her clean underwear.

"Oooh, you can have this." Derek said to the fox, putting her skimpy underwear on the fox's head. The fox decided that was as good as it was going to get and ran outside, running past Kagome, who saw her underwear and screamed.

"Ahhh! What's it doing with my underwear?" she shrieked, seeing Inuyasha leap down and grab the fox. He went to take her clothing off the fox, but a powerful barrier emitted from the fox and stung the half-demon, making him drop the fox and let it get away.

"You two gave my underwear to a fox? Are you serious?" Kagome bellowed at Kim and Derek.

"Hahahahahahahahaha!" They laughed in reply, knowing nothing was going to happen to them.

Sesshomaru saw the fox run by him again, this time with an odd looking article of clothing on its head.

"Fox," Sesshomaru called. The fox backtracked and sat in front of the demon lord, who was now standing. He bent down and grabbed the underwear, unaware of what it was.

"It smells like that wench that travels with Inuyasha." Sesshomaru stated simply, holding the white cloth in his hand uncaringly. He noticed the fox whining and growling to him, as if trying to tell him something.

"What is it?" he asked the fox. The small animal placed its paw on his leg and immediately showed Sesshomaru a vision of Kagome slipping the underwear up her pale, bare legs. Sesshomaru immediately dropped the cloth and turned around, his face full of obvious disgust as he walked away.

"My lord, where are you going?" Jaken asked curiously.

"To wash off." Sesshomaru replied darkly.

"Bahahahaha! It worked! It worked!" Kim laughed as she and Derek high-fived one another. They had placed the orb in a bowl of water and Kim chanted her magical words, allowing a scene to pop up in the water. Kim bet that Sesshomaru would intercept the fox again to try and see what she and Derek were up to…and he did.

"He did not disappoint! Hahaha!" Derek snorted as Kim waved the scene away in the water. It rippled back to normal water and left the two demons with nothing to do again.

Sesshomaru relaxed in the warm water contently. He only meant to wash his hand, but he found the hot spring and decided to clean his entire body off. He couldn't believe that he was so foolish to touch something so filthy.

"I suppose I've learned my lesson." He said to himself, lowering himself further in the water until it hit his muscled chest. He closed his eyes and let out a slow exhale as he focused on his surroundings. He heard birds chirping a little ways away; he heard the leaves rustle as a breeze crept through the forest. He also heard something unnatural, something swinging quickly and a scent approached him suddenly. Sesshomaru quickly raised his arm and effortlessly caught the rock that was hurled at him.

"You do know that I'm naked, correct?" Sesshomaru asked, knowing who it was and trying to repulse her away.

"No, but thanks for the newsflash. I'll be sure to alert the weatherman." Kim announced as she waltzed out of the trees.

"I do not know what that means."

"It's ok. You never were the sharpest tool in the shed."

"I am much more intelligent than you."

"Haha, I know you are." Kim laughed, remembering his face when he found out what the underwear was meant for. Complete…utter…disgust. It made Kim happier than what food made her and that was serious happiness.

"What is your purpose here? Surely not to watch me bathe."

"Don't call me Shirley. And no, I am not here to watch you take a bath."

"Then why?"

"Because I don't want to watch you fail at washing yourself with one arm. Not very appealing."

"No, why are you here?"

"Just to watch you bathe." Kim replied seriously. She summoned all in her power to keep a straight face when she saw Sesshomaru's eye twitch. It actually twitched. It was Kim's turn to twitch when Sesshomaru stood up, the water now hitting his waist as he walked towards her.

"Wh…what're you doing?" Kim asked, her eyes locked with his. She saw that he had no emotion on his face or in his eyes, meaning something was about to happen.

"Alright, alright, alright! I'm leaving!" Kim shouted when Sesshomaru stepped out of the water completely. She turned around and kept her eyes closed, so as not to see him in all his glory. Sesshomaru smirked and said nothing as he turned around to step back in the water.

"Psyyyyyyyyyche!" Derek roared, flying up behind Sesshomaru. Derek had his shirt off and was winding it up and then sharply snapped it and struck Sesshomaru on the ass. Kim and Derek heard the demon lord gasp and let out a small yelp before he flew face first into the spring.

"Hahahaha! Right on, bro!" Kim laughed, fist-bumping Derek, both laughing only to stop when Sesshomaru's demonic aura viciously and furiously swirled around them and the next thing the eagle and fox knew was staring into the red angry eyes of the giant white dog.

"Oh fuck me." Derek whined slightly. Sesshomaru opened his snout and let out an angry, long howl, his breath letting them know that he ate more than fish. After his long battle cry, Sesshomaru stepped forward, red eyes locked on Derek.

"Oh fuck me sideways! Kim, cover me…Kim?" Derek noticed that Kim had already taken off running.

"You need to learn how to run, son!" her voice called back. Derek giggled nervously as he sprouted his wings.

"Fuck thaaaaaat! Ahhhh!" Derek cried out as he flew over the treetops, Sesshomaru galloping closely behind him. Derek dodged the dog demon's snout languidly and flapped his wings, speeding up and keeping his eye on the prize, which was anywhere but the mouth of the dog demon.

"How can he run on three legs, damn it!" Derek shouted, folding his wings and spinning upwards to quickly and narrowly dodge another snap of Sesshomaru's jaws.

"I once saw a dog running on two hind legs!" Kim called out from below, also dodging the dog's snout quickly.

"Really?" Derek called out.

"Yeah, on YouTube! You should watch it!" Kim replied, throwing a weak green flame at Sesshomaru's chest, not to hurt him but to distract him from Derek. Sesshomaru let out a snarl and swiped his paw at Kim, who jumped back. Sesshomaru saw Derek was now half-transformed and landed on his giant white paw, digging his talons into the dog's paw.

"Get it, girl!" Kim cheered. Sesshomaru growled and pulled his paw back and started to run after Kim, but he felt his front paw frozen on the ground where Derek held fast. Derek gave one strong flap of his wings, sending a powerful gust at the underbelly of the dog. Sesshomaru let out a surprised howl as he felt his body flip over completely, slamming on his back on the ground.

"Haha, owned!" Kim giggled when she looked at Sesshomaru, who was still on his back with his three legs stuck up in the air. The dog demon was panting breathlessly and seemed to be in a trance as he stared up at the sky. After a few moments, he rolled over on his belly and gave a small whine as he licked his lips.

"Get along little doggies!" Derek called out as he zoomed over the dog's giant head. Sesshomaru growled warningly, but stopped when Kim jumped up and landed on his nose.

"So, as we say in America…haaaaaah! Bitch! You just got owned!" Kim laughed. Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed as he flipped Kim in the air. She yelled with surprised and Sesshomaru opened his snout, catching her in his mouth. The dog demon rolled her around in his mouth a few times before spitting her out onto the ground.

"Ahhhhh! Not cool! That's so fucking gross!" Kim shrieked as she stood up, the saliva dripping from her slowly, reminding her of a sick gooey horror movie. Sesshomaru disappeared inside his white orb and transported himself back to the hot spring to get dressed and continue about his day, not daring to tell anyone what had transpired just now.


	13. Chapter 13

Fresh Dressed

Naraku hid up in the trees as he followed Derek and Kim, who were taking a stroll in the forest to wear off their extra energy. They were holding a small thin box between each other and small, thin ropes that led to their ears and sound came out. Naraku never felt more confused than now.

"Dude, this song is bangin'!" Derek chirped as Kim nodded.

"For real. Hey, Naraku, come listen," Kim called out, turning around and holding the headphone up tauntingly. Naraku immediately landed in front of her and stared at the small device intensely.

"What am I to do with this?" he asked.

"Put it in your right ear and listen." Kim explained.

"How do I know it won't blow my head up?"

"Look, if this relationship is going to work out between us, you need to trust me."

"What relationship?"

"Don't hurt my feelings, boo. Just listen to it."

"Boo?"

"Ahhh, you scared me, now listen." Kim snapped sarcastically. Naraku held back a growl as he put it in his ear. Kim saw his instant displeasure.

"Too calming." He stated. Kim took the iPod from Derek and chose the first upbeat song she could find.

"Oooh, very nice, very nice." Derek chirped as he began dancing really close to Naraku, who was watching him with a face that said, "I'm angry, confused and a bit nervous."

"I don't even need skill for this shit. I can be mud diggin' while I'm hittin' on your chick." Derek said.

"I chose that song? Haha." Kim giggled. She blinked when Naraku snatched the iPod from her hand, holding it in front of him as he slowly inspected it. His eyes widened when the screen lit up at his touch.

"What does that say?" he asked, pointing to a song.

"Sweet Transvestite." Kim said.

"Explain." Naraku growled.

"It's a song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kim explained. She and Derek glanced at one another before staring back at Naraku, whose face showed utter confusion, like he was lost in space, floating around aimlessly and with no destination in sight.

"Riiiiiight." The half-demon man finally said.

"Kim, just go ahead and declare this mission failed." Derek said in English.

"Roger that." Kim replied. She patted Naraku's shoulder softly while giggling.

"Do not touch me."

"Does he remind you of someone, Derek?" Kim asked slyly. Derek smirked before replying.

"Oh yes, yes he does."

"Who?"

"Sesshomaru."

"Do not compare me to him." Naraku growled venomously.

"He even talks like him." Derek said to Kim.

"Yeah, he does." Kim said seriously. Naraku took the bud out of his ear and handed the iPod to Kim.

"I want the jewel back, wench." Naraku said, quickly grabbing her wrists. Kim showed no emotion to his quick movements.

"I told you, I don't have it." Kim yawned back. She noticed him squeeze her wrists even harder as his red eyes blazed into her own.

"Get it back." He ordered calmly.

"Uhhh…no." Kim retorted.

"No, woman, I think you misunderstand me…you will get it back for me."

"Yeah, about that," Kim cut off quickly as she quickly jabbed Naraku in the face with her wrist that he held tightly to. He held on to it but was unable to stop her other fist rocketing into his face powerfully. Kim and Derek disappeared from his grasp once again.

"Why not erect a barrier like usual?" Kagura asked as she stepped out from the trees.

"It would be useless against her. Once she summons her five tails, one strike of her fist almost shatters it. She would need only two strikes total to bring it to pieces." Naraku explained as he stood back up, tasting the metallic taste of blood in his mouth.

"You should've killed her when you had the chance. Now it's too late." Kagura replied.

"It is not impossible, just more difficult."

Kim hit the floor of the hut, writing in pain. Derek frowned with confusion. Nothing had happened to her with their encounter with Naraku, why was she in agony.

"Kim," Derek called out.

"The fucker shot me up with miasma!" she spat angrily, showing Derek the opened injuries on her arms.

"What a bitch ass thing to do! God he pisses me off!" Derek barked.

"I thought demons were resistant to poisons," Kagome stated, looking around for water to help with Kim's fever.

"It won't kill her, just make her sick. Some are more resistant than others. She was like this when Sesshomaru poisoned her." Derek explained simply.

"Sesshomaru poisoned her?" Kagome asked curiously.

"Whether it was on purpose or accident, I don't know."

"Purpose, knowing him."

"Yeah."

"Sshhhh…shut up about Sesshomaru! I fucking hate him!" Kim howled, arching her back as her five tails appeared with a green flash.

"What was that? You want to bang him?" Derek asked, only to get nailed in the face by one of her whip-like tails. Derek hit the wall and groaned.

"You're right, I deserved that one." He breathed.

Kim whined as she woke up from her sleep. She noticed she was unbelievably cold and drenched…and the howling wind was not helping. Wind? Wasn't she inside?

"Ahhh! Kiiiiiim! Wake up, girl!" a familiar voice hollered frantically. She realized it was Derek. She slammed one hand down palm first as she slowly pushed herself up from the snow.

"Sn…snow?" Kim groaned with disbelief. Where the hell was she?

"Oh hell no!" Derek spat, stepping between Kim and the snow demon and flapping his wings powerfully, blowing the creature back.

"Come on! Get up!" Derek turned around to help her up, only to be tackled by the snow beast. Kim rolled over on her back, her breathing short and weak. Her body hurt so much.

"You're pathetic." A cold voice shot before she passed out.

"Ahh, bitch!" Derek's whimper sounded throughout the small cave. Sango had pulled an ice-spear from his right wing, which recoiled in pain, folding behind Derek, who was warming his body with his uninjured left wing.

"It has to be done, Derek." Sango said sternly, reaching for the claw lodged in his right arm.

"I know, but it hurts…ow." He stated with a pout. His face morphed into a hateful glare when he heard Sesshomaru's mocking, almost undetectable, snort.

"Yeah, I didn't see your bitch ass doing anything!" Derek shot at the dog demon.

"Do not start with me, nestling." Sesshomaru said back.

"What did you just,"

"Derek stop. We don't need a fight right now." Sango hissed.

"Ugh…where…where the hell am I?" Kim's groggy voice came.

"A cave." Sesshomaru stated.

"Oh boy, oh boy." Kim growled, trying to turn over and realizing that she was sitting up, her entire body leaned against another. She opened her eyes and looked up into Sesshomaru's emotionless golden ones.

"Oh…fuck no!" Kim panicked, leaping up suddenly, only to fall down on her back and wince at the pain.

"You can lay there for the rest of our duration here." Sesshomaru announced.

"Thanks for the permission, prick." Kim snapped back.

"Naraku poisoned you quite a bit. You shouldn't move too much." Sango said, pulling Kim back against the wall…right next to her bestest friend in the whole wide world, Sesshomaru.

"Just kill me now." Kim groaned, flinching when she saw Sesshomaru's glowing green claws reaching for her.

"I was just fulfilling your wish, Kim." Sesshomaru stated with a small smirk. Kim glared back silently. She couldn't accept the fact that he just made a joke, cruel, but a joke nonetheless.

"So, want to know what happened while you slept?" Derek asked cheerfully.

"No." Kim replied with boredom. Derek pouted as he looked down at the cold, stone floor. She was never any fun when she was injured.

"You were almost killed…twice. You're weak, fox, allowing Naraku to even so much as touch a single hair on your head." Sesshomaru growled condescendingly.

"You almost sound disgusted that he touched me." Kim replied dryly. Silence. Either Sesshomaru did care or just decided not to open up a can of worms that needed not be opened.

"I care not." Sesshomaru finally said.

"Then how about a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up? When I want to hear from you, I will look at you."

"You dare,"

"Yes I dare. Don't make me get up and come over there."

"You are right next to me."

"Don't make me lean up and smack you."

"Heh, arrogant fox."

"Dude, I said that one time and she slapped me so hard that nothing tasted right for a month." Derek announced seriously, holding his right hand up.

"I do not care." Sesshomaru restated. He frowned when he felt two hands grab his shoulders and fling him on his back on the floor of the cave. Kim was on him, pinning him down with her knee.

"What are you…do…ing?" Sesshomaru felt his energy being sapped as his eyes closed with immense fatigue. His last conscious memory was Kim chanting under her breath while looking him straight in the eyes the whole time.

"What did you do to him?" Sango asked with slight terror, seeing as how he was the only uninjured person there.

"Hey, you forgot to slap the taste out of his mouth." Derek stated, pointing at the sleeping dog demon. Kim leaned down and slapped the demon lord across the face sharply.

"Haha, rat bastard." Kim laughed, looking completely healed. She had drained the man of his energy. She didn't care about anything except healing herself.

"I know how cruel he can be, but still, he went out of his way just to save you." Sango said to Kim, who frowned back at her.

"Uh, yeah, I doubt that highly." Kim replied.

"No, really! When I heard Kohaku was in the mountains, I came up and crossed paths with Sesshomaru. He asked what I was doing and I told him…he kept walking the other way until I mentioned you being hurt and kidnapped and then he turned right around and led me up the mountain along with Kirara." Sango explained calmly. Kim watched the human woman intensely, her ice-blue eyes reading every move and breath. Sango was telling the truth.

"Why? He hates me." Kim exhaled while rubbing her head.

"He wants to get it on with you hardcore." Derek snickered.

"Hahaha, oh yeah, from behind, let me tell ya!" Kim laughed warmly in reply. She sat down against the wall and watched as Sango snuggled up against the two-tailed cat, which growled happily.

The next morning, Sango leaned over Sesshomaru curiously. He still looked like he was in a coma, like he wasn't going to move any time soon.

"Kirara, looks like you'll have to carry him for now." Sango said to her demon companion. Kirara mewed as she transformed, walking up next to Sesshomaru and laying down beside him so it would be easier to heave his body onto her back.

"Here, I'll help." Derek stated after finishing his conversation with Kim, taking Sesshomaru by the shoulders and heaving him into a sitting position on Kirara's back, holding him so he wouldn't fall off.

"Someone is going to have to sit up there with him and hold him." Sango pointed out simply.

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Uh…I guess I will." Sango exhaled, seeing that neither demon would swallow their pride and fear and hold the man up. She sat behind Sesshomaru and realized there was a problem. She couldn't see from behind him because he was so much bigger than her and holding his body while flinging her weapons would be near impossible.

"Damn," Sango growled, climbing off and getting in front of the demon lord, letting his entire body lean on hers.

"Haha, oh right," Derek laughed.

"A dog demon's favorite position…according to popular belief." Kim announced professionally.

"Shut up! I don't see either of you doing anything!" Sango snapped angrily.

"I'm not into that." Derek whined back, pointing at the suggestive position.

"I say we just leave him here. He's nothing but dead weight." Kim suggested.

"I…am not…dead…fox wench!" a cold voice shot from behind Sango, who jumped and slid off Kirara's back with shock. Sesshomaru climbed off and stared Kim down.

"I know you're not." Kim replied with a giggle.

"Irritable fox." Sesshomaru spat as he walked out of the cave, flying away into the sky.

"Bahaha, he should've just let me die." Kim replied with a shrug.

Derek frowned as he watched Kim transform into a giant python, hissing down the main road of the village, making the kids scream horridly. She slowly coiled around the trunk of a tree, tongue flicking inquisitively as she slithered up the tree.

"Aw, Kim," Derek moaned when he saw a little girl crying hysterically to her father while pointing at the tree Snake Kim resided. He hated seeing little girls cry so helplessly and he hated it when Kim was the cause. It had been a week since their last encounter with Naraku and his minions and since then, Kim had become much darker and much more mischievous. No one else seemed to notice it because they always saw Kim as an uncontrollable monster, but being her closest friend for decades, Derek saw the change clearly.

"Hey, Derek, what the hell is Kim's problem?" Inuyasha asked, walking up with ripped clothes and fang marks all along his arms.

"She's just venting right now. Leave her be." Derek stated with a depressed sigh.

"Feh! As if! I'll tear her to shreds!" the dog demon barked, running back to the tree.

"Whatever." Derek replied quietly, watching as the snake morphed into a dragon, exhaling dark purple flames at the half-demon before whipping him with her tail. Derek stood up immediately when he saw the purple flames.

"Her flames are supposed to be green! Damn it, Kim! Stop!" Derek shouted, flying over to her. Her snake-like body slithered around his as her long dragon snout came face to face with Derek, who stood his ground.

"Why?" she asked, forked tongue flicking at him in an insulting fashion.

"Because, you're tainting yourself. Fox demons are the incarnation of the forces of nature. Born to protect and preserve the natural beauty of this world. If you are tainted, then you will become,"

"A destructive force. I am aware. Now, take a taxi to your point, I'm getting bored."

"Ok, Kim…I give up." Derek exhaled, stepping out from her coiled grip on him. Kim transformed back into her humanoid form and stepped forward.

"What?" she asked him with slight concern.

"Nothing. I'll just go back over there and…yeah, I'll be over there. Have fun terrorizing little kids." Derek bit back as he made his way back to the hut.

"Ok, but only because you said to." Kim replied, turning into a giant spider and galloping after the remaining kid who didn't go inside.

"How amusing. It seems my miasma has tainted our dear friend, Kagura." Naraku chuckled, waving his hand to dismiss Kanna from his presence.

"Won't making her a destructive force of nature only increase her powers?" Kagura asked back with boredom as she flicked her fan open and closed in a slow, rhythmic pattern.

"I…well…yes." Naraku replied, realizing that he had yet to think this plan all the way through.

"And to think people fear you? You impress me to that point, Naraku."

"I'll be sure to remember that…Test Item Number One."

"What?"

"When Kim gets to a certain point, I'll send you after her to see just what she can do."

"Naraku, Kim is cursing you." Kanna said as she slowly made her way back up to the spider. He looked into the demon girl's mirror and felt his eye twitch when he saw himself, running throughout the village, screaming profane things about himself.

"I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole! Heeeeey, pretty lady," the fake Naraku chirped to a young woman, who cowered in slight fear.

"Hey, Kim! Cut it out already!" Inuyasha hollered, his blade at the ready.

"You sound like a little whinny bitch! Yo, fuck you!"

"I'll just pretend you're Naraku, then! Die!" Inuyasha growled, slicing at the false Naraku's head, only to miss as he jumped out of the way.

"Woooo! Hahaha! You couldn't hit the broadside of my ass! What in the hell are you aiming at?" Naraku laughed tauntingly. The real Naraku was just amazed at how well she sounded like him.

"Bitch! Fucking die!" Inuyasha howled, swinging his blade once they were out of the village and barraging her with his adamant spears and wind scar at the same time. The real Naraku watched as Kim summoned a barrier that rivaled his, deflecting the attacks entirely. It didn't work the next time because Inuyasha used his red blade, shattering the barrier, which gave Kim time to dodge. Now she had to continue dodging.

"This spit-fuck is too slow," Kim began. Inuyasha watched as she changed her form from Naraku to Sesshomaru, wearing the exact same smirk from one enemy to the next.

"Ah, much better." Sesshomaru's calm and smooth voice came.

"I'll cut your fucking arm off, too!" Inuyasha spat, jumping at his brother's form and swinging the blade powerfully, only to have it blocked with the fake Tenseiga. Kim kicked Inuyasha in the stomach, spun around and gave him a grounded roundhouse kick, sending the pup flying backwards.

"Heh, let's see you survive this." Kim said, summoning her aura, which had turned to a deep blue color, different from her usual green. She swung the sword and blasted the aura at Inuyasha, who was waiting with his ultimate retaliation technique.

"Oh shit!" Kim screamed when her attack came flying back at her in the form of multiple vortexes of demonic wind. She transformed back into her original form and held the staff in front of her, noticing Inuyasha's blade was no longer red. She summoned her barrier and tightly held onto her staff.

"Hah! Block this!" Inuyasha hollered, swinging his blade again and giving the attack more force.

"God…damm it!" Kim snarled when she noticed her barrier cracking.

_'Use it.'_ A voice hissed calmly.

"Use what?"

_ 'Don't play innocent.' _

"Whatever! I'm about to fucking die!" And as those words left her mouth, Kim felt the same urge to fight back that she did when she first found the staff.

"Wha…no way!" Inuyasha stuttered with angered disbelief. Kim escaped with no injuries, but she was on all fours, growling like she was in pain. He saw the faint outline of her five tails in her aura, which flickered from blue to red with each pulse from her body.

"Kim!" Derek called out, soaring through the sky, his arms outstretched as if trying to grab her. He panicked when Kim's head snapped in his direction in a beast-like fashion, her mouth stretched as her fangs flashed their perfect whiteness. Her aura had now permanently changed to red as she stood up, her tails finally materializing becoming visible.

"S…six tails?" Derek quivered as the sudden gust of ice-cold wind began blowing.

"Big deal! Just one more for me to chop off!" Inuyasha called out arrogantly as he ran after the wild Kim. Kim let out a feral growl as she remained on all fours, merely waving one tail and using the wind from it to whip Inuyasha in the stomach and send him flying once more.

"Pathetic…little…half-breed!" Kim bit out slowly, her glowing red eyes now aimed at Derek, who outstretched his wings and prepared for an ass whooping.

"Out of line once again…you're the pathetic one." A familiar and highly hated voice shot through Kim's ears like a high-pitched screeching sound coming from machinery. She glowered at Sesshomaru with every ounce of hate she could muster.

"Hm," Sesshomaru huffed as he realized what was going on. Her body and six tails were enveloped in a dark red aura, which was black the closer it was to her body, meaning something else was tainting her. He also realized her hand that held onto the staff was burning.

"Go fuck yourself!" Kim barked, opening her mouth and firing out a bright, white light, which was proven to be nothing but pure energy and very destructive, taking out everything nearby. Sesshomaru braced himself when he saw her form rocketing at him. He dodged her staff, her left fist and caught her right leg in his only hand. Kim leapt up and twisted her body, whipping Sesshomaru's arm with one of her tails.

"Damn!" Sesshomaru snapped when he noticed another tail coiled around his leg. A third tail made its way around his neck, but it never got the chance to constrict when Derek powerfully tackled Kim, increasing the force by folding his wings around his body protectively and turning into a feathered, high-speed torpedo. She had let go of Sesshomaru before she hit the ground, which allowed the demon lord to recover quickly and back off for a quick retaliation.

"Wait!" Derek ordered, holding his hand out to stop Sesshomaru from striking Kim with his green whip of light.

"Do not,"

"She's my friend! As if I'd let you kill her while she was still down!"

"Fine…have it your way."

"Thanks Burger King! I knew you'd see it my way!" Derek spat humorously, watching as Kim stood up, her hand no longer holding the staff. Her tails and ominous aura seemed to have disappeared as well, her familiar blue eyes being the first thing Derek searched for.

"Whoa, Derek, I told you that pot was old." Kim grumbled distastefully in English. Sesshomaru finally lowered his hand when he heard Derek laugh warmly.

"Yeah, well, I doubt this was the pot." Derek replied.

"What happened? Wasn't I playing cards with you? How'd we end up here? Why is that dickhead here?" Kim asked with a growl when she saw Sesshomaru, who knew she was insulting him.

"Long story. I think we need to go back to modern day, chick." Derek suggested.

"Yeah, me too. Let's bounce and…hey," Kim realized her staff wasn't on her anywhere and turned around, seeing it on the ground. She went to pick it up, but stopped when she heard gasps and grumbles. Something in her gut told her to leave now without it.

"Let's go, Derek. I'm hungry." Kim said slowly and distantly as she continued staring at the staff. Derek grabbed her arms and flew away quickly, heading directly for the well, unaware of their stalker, who grabbed Kim's leg and was dragged into the future.

"Kim, get your ass out of my face!" Derek spat.

"Get your face out of my ass!" she hollered back, frowning when she realized her face was nuzzled in something soft, fluffy and warm.

"Is this honestly where you two reside?" a familiar voice growled. Kim and Derek wiggled and writhed as they sat up, staring into the face of the demon lord, who was staring back as if nothing happened. They then stared at each other with horrid expressions.

"What?" Sesshomaru snapped.

"Ahhhhh! Die, die, die! You're not supposed to be here!" Derek screeched in English as he fell on his back, kicking Sesshomaru repeatedly like a small child would while throwing a tantrum.

"Goddamn stalker! Get a life and a girlfriend!" Kim barked, hitting Sesshomaru with both fists, also in a child-tantrum-like fashion. Sesshomaru could only recoil and block as many hits as he could before his grew angry and his aura flared out from his body.

"ENOUGH!" he roared, causing the two demons to temporarily stop their attacks.

"Bitch who are you talking to? This is my house!" Kim hollered in English.

"Woman, drag-queen, cross-dresser, chick with a dick, young lady, bitch, little girl!" Derek listed off…in English, of course. Sesshomaru realized at that moment that being slapped and kicked was much more bearable than their constant screaming in their barbaric native tongue, especially because his ears were so sensitive.

Sesshomaru sat on the floor; completely content with the object that Kim gave him to entertain him. It was a small little red ball, no bigger than his eye, which bounced extremely high and fast. He threw it at the floor at an angle. It flew to the wall, bounced off and headed back to him where he caught it between his two fingers skillfully.

"You know, if he had his other arm and a personality, I'd definitely get him naked and hit it like a caveman." Kim said to Derek in English, who began laughing.

"Really? I thought you hate him." Derek laughed.

"I do, I was just saying, give him an arm and a personality."

"What if that happens?"

"Then you will not see me for a while."

"The question is would he bang you?"

"Obviously…he follows me all the time."

"And he saved your life for no reason. Yeah, he wants your body."

"I know…too bad I hate him with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns."

"Quit talking about me." Sesshomaru finally said, catching the ball and looking over at Kim and Derek, both who sat at the table and stared at him while talking.

"He's so self-conscious." Derek stated.

"You can tell he spends three hours on his hair everyday. It's like he's obsessed or something."

"He's obsessed with a lot of things, if you haven't noticed."

"Power," Kim began.

"You," Derek continued.

"Little girls,"

"Chasing people,"

"Killing people,"

"Himself,"

"Himself," Kim restated with a snort.

"Hair,"

"His nails are better than mine are!" Kim howled with laughter as Sesshomaru glared at the two demons with annoyance. He could tell it was going to be a long night.


	14. Chapter 14

This Is Where I Draw It

Months had passed since Kim and Derek flew back to America, after dragging Sesshomaru through modern-day Tokyo and "losing" him for eight hours straight. But Kagome decided to forgive him when they "put him back where they got him from" and gave her a few gifts, none of them being the jewel shards that they both took with them as souvenirs. Kagome didn't care and was glad they did because they were two less shards that Naraku could snatch and Kim and Derek were bound to come back someday.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes! YEEESSSSS! RUN YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH!" Derek roared as he and Kim jumped up and down in their seats. They were at the one and only Super Bowl, cheering the Colts on because they were in the middle of a crowd that was cheering the other team. No, they weren't in any kind of danger…at all.

"Run Forrest, run!" Kim laughed when the people eyed her and Derek competitively. She and Derek were dressed in Colts attire with their hair dyed blue and white, blue and white necklaces hung from their necks, their skin painted in blue and white and the cherry topping of their outfits were the Colts' Horse Heads on top of their heads. Blue and white Colts' Horse head that had a crazy and happy smile on. It was Kim and Derek, so this shouldn't be surprising to anyone.

"YES! TOUCHDOWN COLTS! WOOOOOOO!" Derek shouted when the receiver hit the end zone.

"WOOO! YEAH! GO HORSE!" Kim hollered, hitting the man in front of her repetitively with her gigantic foam hand that said, "Colts are #1."

"Will you stop doing that?" the man snapped. His only reply was Kim and Derek blaring their air horns in his faces while screaming.

"Fourteen to nothing, biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!" they sang tauntingly. They danced and sang while wondering why the beer man hadn't come back around. In the midst of all the celebrating, unbeknownst to the two undercover demons that hundreds of miles away, hundreds of years in the past, their good times were about to be abruptly interrupted.

Naraku watched as the evil spirit from the jewel flew away with a chunk of his body in its control. He saw his latest, and only, incarnation slowly walking into the cave, being cautious as not to somehow lose his life.

"Another incarnation of yours?" the man asked, his arms crossed. Naraku turned around.

"No. That was the evil being which was sealed within the jewel." Naraku explained, staring at the single, tiny speck of pure light within the otherwise black jewel. He also noticed the gap, indicating the still missing pieces, Kohaku's piece and then Kim and Derek's two pieces. Naraku instantly felt a headache coming on just by thinking about them. Not only were they annoying and slippery as fuck to contain, but they were even more elusive than the spider himself. He had heard, saw, smelled and sensed nothing of them for so many months he lost count.

"Couldn't be more than four." He mumbled under his breath.

"Four what?" Byakuya asked.

"Four months since I've heard about…them." Naraku ended with distaste and bitterness. Byakuya blinked and stepped back. From what he knew, Naraku was usually calm, listless and unemotional. Whoever "they" were, they must have been even more irritating than the late Kagura, the late Kikyo, the still-living Kagome, the still-breathing Inuyasha and always-wonderful-to-talk-to, Lord Sesshomaru combined into one, which was one Hell of an annoying thing to just think about.

"Let's hope we don't." Byakuya chirped.

"They hold two of the remaining three shards. I must encounter them soon, even though I'd rather not." Naraku growled.

Kim and Derek found the beer man and were now drinking. The crowds around them moaned a bit, knowing that they were already belligerent, why drink?

"Oh shit! Shake that ass while moving like a gypsy!" Derek began.

"Stop, whoa, back it up and let me see your hips SWING!" Kim added on as she and Derek danced, clanging their beers together and taking a swig. It was the last minute of the last quarter of the last official football game of the season. To be able to piss the crowd off more, Kim and Derek were banking on the Colts to intercept the ball and keep it.

"YEAAAAAAAAH! INTERCEPTION BITCH! GO, GO, GO, GO, GOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Derek bellowed, jerking his cup and spilling some of his beer on the man in front of him that he and Kim continued to bother throughout the entire game.

"He's almost there! Keep swimming! Hahahaha!" Kim laughed as she realized the innuendo she screamed. Kim and Derek both felt a pulse come from their pockets. Then, a purple light engulfed them before they could see whether or not the Colts would win or not.

"Go…go…go…GODDAMN IT! KIM!" Derek hollered when he realized they were flung back in time to feudal Japan.

"What do you mean Kim? I didn't do shit!" Kim hollered back angrily.

"You two sure know how to show up unexpectedly." Shippo said, clasping onto Kagome's hand. Kim and Derek saw that Kagome was on the ground, unconscious. They also heard a roar and turned around, seeing the white dog demon with three legs charging after them.

"We didn't do anything yet! Ahhhh!" Derek cried out, tossing his bottle in a random direction. Kim watched it fly and hit another demon in the head with such force that it smashed on impact. The demon man looked as creepy as they came. He frowned a bit and looked over at them, but was interrupted from attacking when Sesshomaru stopped running towards Kim and Derek and leapt at him. The dog grabbed his head and ripped it off effortlessly.

"Damn, I guess this is better than Super Bowl." Kim sighed.

"Are you nuts? No it isn't! This is bullshit!" Derek barked impatiently.

"Yeah, well, so what?" Kim replied, hearing a whine and growl of frustration when tentacles from the headless body began constricting the giant dog demon.

"Oooh, what'd we miss?" Derek asked eagerly.

"Well, um…a lot." Sango pointed out, holding her brother in her arms. Derek nodded slowly. Kim looked down at Jaken, who seemed to be in deep thought as he watched his master being devoured by the demon's flesh. Kim felt Sesshomaru's aura diminish as he transformed back in his humanoid form, ripping out of the mountain of flesh and landing a few feet in front of Kim and Derek. He turned around and shot a glare at Jaken, who squirmed in reply.

"I-I wasn't thinking anything negative about you, my lord!" Jaken shouted nervously.

"Haha, yeah sure, whatever." Kim chuckled. Her eyes met Sesshomaru's for only a moment before a sixth sense told her to fucking move. Kim ducked, then jumped up and twisted around in the air. She landed on her feet and quickly jerked to her left, ducked again and jumped to the right. Kim slashed her claws at the final tentacle that came after her and smirked when she saw the expression on the floating head of the demon attacking her. He looked utterly displeased at her fast reactions.

"Ahhh! Ahhh! Stupid fucking Colts' Horse head!" Derek howled as he was pulled around and shaken by the tentacles that caught him.

"Whatever, dude! You are so slow! Hahaha!" Kim laughed at him as she slashed him free.

"Stupid mother fucker! I didn't do shit to you!" Derek growled, taking his horse hat off and decking the floating head once more.

"That's the second time you've hit him in the head." Kim pointed out in a low voice.

"When did I hit him the first time?" Derek asked defensively.

"You threw the beer bottle and hit him." Kim said.

"Oh…yeah well…I'm sorry! Can we talk this out later? Kim, take me back to Super Bowl!" Derek pleaded.

"Not right now! Move!" Kim ordered as she jumped in the air, taking her hat off and hitting the head with it.

"You're all weak." The head said with a smirk.

"Bitch I know you're not talking about me!" Kim howled as her six tails sprouted from her.

"Yeah Kim! Send his creepy ass back to Indonesia!" Derek laughed.

"Shut up, Derek!"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Stay out of this, irritating fox." Sesshomaru ordered as he flew by her, swinging his sword.

"You don't have the Meidou anymore! What're you doing?" Inuyasha shouted at his brother.

"Meidou? What the hell is he talking about? Where's his other sword?" Kim asked under her breath. She watched as Sesshomaru cut something behind the head and a scar instantly appeared on its face.

"Oh I see now!" Derek called out, pointing at the aura that was behind the head, not emitting from the head. Sesshomaru backed off and readied himself for another attack. Kim ran after him to back him up, seeing as this demon was dangerous. Sesshomaru saw a tentacle coming from his left side, but a green flame disintegrated it.

"Keep going! I've got you!" Kim's voice called after him. Sesshomaru said nothing back. He leapt in the air to deal the final blow, but a single tentacle plowed through his chest and stopped him completely.

"Oops. I guess I don't." Kim commented uncaringly. She saw the shocked expression on the demon lord's face and frowned instantly. She jumped up to help him, but something pulled her away as the tentacles and flesh swallowed the demon lord.

"Damn it, Derek! I could've had him!" Kim barked.

"I thought you hated him." Derek said back.

"I'm not talking about Sesshomaru! I'm talking about Mr. Uncle Fucker over there! I could've killed him!" Kim lied, knowing that she had not the power to slash something not from this world.

"Yeah ok." Derek replied with a smirk, knowing she was fibbing. They both watched as Inuyasha hacked away at the mound of flesh that had eaten his elder brother, screaming his name frantically.

"Can't you do something?" Derek asked.

"Not without killing him." Kim replied.

"I thought you didn't like him." Derek restated.

"Well, destroying the mound of flesh to recover Sesshomaru is the point. Why the fuck would I want to destroy it and Sesshomaru? It ruins the point." Kim replied.

"We can recover his body. That's good enough." Derek said.

"Still not the point, dumb ass."

"Why not use that sword's wonderful power and destroy the flesh? Do not worry about the person inside, he is no longer of this world." The eerie demon stated with a smirk, restraining Inuyasha's arms and legs.

"Why you…what?" Inuyasha instantly felt a pulse of energy below him. Kim sprinted after Inuyasha, breezing past everyone like the wind itself. Kim shot her green aura like a canon from her hands, disintegrating the tentacles that held the half-demon. Kim then tackled Inuyasha off the mound, grabbing his sleeve and keeping him from hitting the ground and letting him land on his feet.

"Woooooo! Hot damn, girl! Hahahahaha!" Derek's happy cheering sounded over the loud explosion as the flesh was blown to pieces.

"Damn boy, that brother of yours just doesn't like to go away, does he?" Kim asked Inuyasha, who shook his head in the negative with a blank look upon his face.

"Not really, no." Inuyasha finally said as Kim laughed. She looked up and saw Sesshomaru, who was the source of the bright light…well, where his left arm should be was where it was coming from. Kim frowned when she heard a cow mooing and looked behind her where the cow landed on the ground after a long flight over there. An old demon man with big wide eyes sat on its back.

"Ho…ly…shit. Come on, now! I haven't dropped acid in ages! Why is this still happening to me? Whyyyyyyyyy!" Derek cried out as he ran behind Kim, hiding.

"Because its an actual flying cow with an old man riding it. Shut up." Kim said to Derek. She looked back up at Sesshomaru, who seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. He turned back around and swung his left arm that had a sword gripped in it, sending out a powerful wave of energy as it destroyed everything in its path. The floating head let out a roar as it escaped right before the attacked reached it.

"Did you kill it?" Inuyasha asked.

"It has escaped." Sesshomaru replied, now turning around and walking towards something that lay on the ground. He picked it up and walked over to Kim, handing her the Colts' Horse hat, saying not a word as he walked up to the old man who sat on the cow.

"Let me see your sword, Sesshomaru." The old demon man said. He and Sesshomaru looked at Kim and Derek when the two demons snorted and cackled, making nasty comments…in English of course, but it wasn't hard to figure out what they were laughing about.

"I'll deal with you two later." Sesshomaru threatened coolly.

"Oooooh," Kim and Derek replied with snorts.

"You two are going to get yourselves killed." Shippo commented as Jaken nodded in complete agreement. They saw Kim and Derek slowly making their way towards them, cracking their fingers and slamming their fists into their hands.

"I get the ugly one!" Derek spat.

"I still can't tell which one that is!" Kim added on amusingly.

"You get the green one, then!" Derek said, grabbing Shippo by his tail. Kim laughed evilly as she stomped Jaken into the dirt, making a wonderful beat to it.

"It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time! It's tricky!" Kim rapped as she continued kicking and stomping the imp.

"Kim," Sesshomaru's stern voice came.

"Hahaha!" Kim laughed as she started backing up. She watched as Sesshomaru slowly made his way towards her and Derek, who also began laughing. The two demons made eye contact with the demon lord for a moment.

"This is where 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' should start playing! Look at him, walking with a swagger like he's an OG! Hahahahahaha!" Derek laughed as he finally dropped the fox-kid. Kim lost it. That song playing while Sesshomaru made his way up to kill them? Humorous.

"Haha, Derek, shut up!" Kim finally laughed.

"Sesshomaru, why didn't you scold Kim for assisting you?" Miroku asked, boldly stepping up to the demon lord.

"I do not know what you are talking about." Sesshomaru replied.

"Yes you do. Right before you were stabbed, you let Kim back you up."

"Because that's all she did…back me up." Sesshomaru stated simply.

"But Inuyasha,"

"He got in the way and tried to kill the fiend himself. Kim only assisted, she made no attempts to kill my prey."

"Oh, I see. Alright, you may proceed to kill her," Miroku said, turning to see Kim and Derek flying away. Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed when he realized the monk merely distracted him and had no interest in why he let Kim help.

Kim and Derek sat in Kaede's hut while catching up on what happened since they have been gone. Needless to say, they were confused.

"So Naraku transformed and what? New wardrobe? Ok, whatever. And he killed all of his incarnations?" Derek asked Miroku, who nodded. The two men winced when they heard Kim's hysterical laughter.

"Haha, so he killed the Kagura-bitch for me, huh? Naraku is such a doll! Hahahahaha!" Kim roared, pounding the floor with her palms.

"And Sesshomaru seemed quite…sad about it. He didn't show it, but I could feel his aura. It was a sad feeling." Miroku added on.

"Bahahaha! He was hittin' it, he was hittin' it." Kim remarked.

"I never really knew her, but she was hot. Oh well." Derek stated. Miroku closed his eyes and sighed. They knew no sympathy, but he forgave them anyway. They showed up and helped out more than they thought.

"So who was that creeper we were fighting earlier?" Kim asked.

"Magatsuhi." Miroku replied.

"Maggot shall be his new name…at least until I figure out how to say his real name." Kim declared while holding her fist up, as if to say, "And I'll knock out whoever says otherwise."

"Haha, Maggot! Come here, Maggot!" Derek called out.

"Maggot, you're a faggot! Drop down and give me thirty, Maggot, you stupid faggot!" Kim barked authoritatively.

"Haha, we're so crazy." Derek chuckled.

"Understatement." Sango mumbled under her breath.

Kim's eyes snapped open when she sensed a strong aura not too far away. She stood up and decided to let Derek sleep. She unintentionally ruined Super Bowl for him, so she thought that she'd make up by leaving him asleep. Kim took off running, leaping amongst the branches of trees and swinging off them like a monkey. She arrived at a lake where Sesshomaru stood. He placed his newly obtained sword on his hip and looked up at the half-full moon.

"Ugh, you rang?" Kim asked, wishing she had stayed with her gut instinct and stayed asleep.

"Why did you help earlier?" Sesshomaru asked her, still staring at the moon.

"I don't know. Can I leave now?" Kim asked quickly, pointing back in the direction of the village.

"Answer me first."

"Fine. Look, for some reason the jewel shards pulled us out of one of the best football games I've been to and brought us there. I figured that if it brought me there, I was supposed to help someone out."

"Why me?"

"I answered your question."

"Why help me individually?"

"Goddamn it. Look, you were the only one who had it figured out, where the real Maggot was."

"Maggot?"

"I can't say his name, so for now it's Maggot."

"I see. So you merely help the people who can really make a difference?"

"Exactly. It had nothing to do with me liking you, because let's face it, I can't fucking stand you." Kim explained with a giggle.

"Feeling is mutual."

"Yeah whatever. I am…hm?" Kim stopped when she felt a chilling breeze brush over her.

"Will you stay until this is over?" Sesshomaru asked, seeing the dark storm clouds moving and blotting out the moon slowly.

"Do you want me to?" Kim asked back. She saw Sesshomaru turn with his eyes closed and start walking away. Kim ran up to his side and started walking with him.

"No, really, do you want me to?" she asked again.

"Does my answer really matter? You will do what you want either way."

"Exactly."

"Where are you…getting…at?" Sesshomaru slowed his question down when he saw the smug look on her face. Usually she did the complete opposite of what others wanted.

"Yes…Lord Sesshomaru?" Kim asked, looking up at him with her eyebrows raised. Sesshomaru glared back down at her.

"I prefer you to be elsewhere, such as Hell. You have no business here."

"Well, too fucking bad, because I'm not going anywhere."

"Do as you will." Sesshomaru replied, smiling on the inside. He felt like he finally had something about her figured out. She wasn't hard to control at all.

"Oh, I will do as I will. I heard about Kagura," Kim began.

"I do not want your pity."

"You have no clue how hard I fucking laughed."

"I'm sure I have a grain of an idea."

"Probably do. And I heard Naraku has a new wardrobe," Kim said, looking up and seeing Sesshomaru's small smirk as he shook his head slightly.

"Is it a flaming, glittery monkey outfit or something? The baboon shit was ridiculous. Even I wouldn't wear that." She continued.

"Hmph." He replied. Kim sighed. That was as close to a laugh as she was going to get from him.

"You are boring." Kim growled, pulling her iPod out and putting one of the ear-buds in. Sesshomaru remembered seeing her mess with it a lot, usually when there was nothing to bother or destroy.

"Was Rin upset earlier?" Sesshomaru asked, knowing Kim could still hear him.

"I don't know. I wasn't paying a lick of attention to her."

"I think she was crying."

"Blah, blah, blah."

"I see. You do not care."

"I couldn't give a rat's ass, so no."

"What do you care about?"

"Me, myself and I…alcohol…money…swagger…sometimes Derek, when he's not being a dumb ass."

"That's it?"

"What do you care about, puppy dog?"

"Power."

"What do you mean "that's it?" I have more on my list than you!" Kim argued.

"Quit whining." Sesshomaru growled, feeling a headache coming on.

"Don't make me beat your ass. You may have a shiny new sword, but don't think for a second that I won't shove that shit up your ass." Kim growled back.

"Heh, I'll live."

"Haha…hahahahaha!" Kim laughed as the image of Sesshomaru surviving ass-rape from his sword hit her ten-fold. Sesshomaru frowned when he realized what he had done. He gave her ammo for new jokes to be made about himself.

"Good job." He whispered to himself under his breath.


	15. Chapter 15

Man-Bitch

AN- Hee, hee.

"Uh Kim, are you sure you should be doing that?" Derek asked as he watched Kim throw random powers on the circle she drew on the ground by burning the grass.

"Shut up, Derek." Kim growled back.

"Ok. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Warn me about what? It's plenty self-explanatory. This spell summons one who is worthy enough to kick Sesshomaru's ass."

"Why not you?"

"Obviously I haven't kicked his ass yet."

"Well you hit him that one time."

"Small victories, Derek. Small victories."

"Oh you want a full-blown ass whooping…ok."

"Good job, Big D. Here," Kim chirped, tossing Derek a small piece of candy from her pocket.

"Ahh! Yaaaaay! Watermelon Jolly Rancher!" Derek cheered, plopping the sweet treat in his mouth and humming contently like a songbird. Kim smiled to herself while she listened to his melodic voice hum a calm and happy tune. She continued to sprinkle different things into the circle while chanting under her breath.

"What is it you're doing now, fox?" Sesshomaru asked as he walked up slowly, his arms crossed inside his sleeves. Derek quit humming and looked at Sesshomaru with curiosity. He saw the dog demon's eyes carefully looking over the circle, as if he knew something bad was to spring from it.

"Just testing something." Kim replied with boredom. She was quite sure nothing was going to happen.

"Mark my words, if anything destructive comes out of this, it will be your head." Sesshomaru warned, noticing that Rin had followed him on foot. She had walked up to Derek and tugged on his T-shirt sleeve. He looked down and smiled at her and ruffled her hair with his hand.

"Consider them marked." Kim replied uncaringly. She was very sure nothing would come out of this spell. She had never done it before, nor had she heard of it succeeding. Ever.

"Soooo…is it ready yet?" Derek asked.

"Mhm." Kim hummed back as she put her hands together in a praying gesture. Her green aura became visible as it rolled off her body like smoke. Kim frowned when an image flashed in front of her eyes, but it was so fast she couldn't make out what it was.

"Uh oh, um, Kim," Derek called out uncertainly as smoke began coming up from the circle. Kim frowned. Something was happening. Definitely not what she had expected. Sesshomaru gripped his sword and stepped forward boldly, seeing that Derek had picked up Rin, his wings sprouted and held in front of him protectively.

"Oh fuck!" Kim shouted when the smoke instantly turned ablaze with blue flames as the form of someone was in the middle. Kim stepped back and held her fists up, ready to attack, but the person in the fire made no attempts to attack.

"Someone better have a damn good excuse for why I am not asleep on my couch," a girl growled as crossed her arms and exhaled, the bluish-white flames disappearing and showing her form. She was tall and had six-inch long hair that was all spiked, black with crimson red tips.

"Haha, yeah Kim, give her the damn good excuse." Derek chirped from behind Kim.

"Shut up." Kim spat.

"Who are you?" Sesshomaru asked the girl, who had her back turned to him. She simply turned her head and stared at him with cold eyes filled with boredom.

"You bastards summoned me, not the other way around. Who the hell are you?" the girl asked back with no tone in her voice. Kim saw that she had on black jeans with a studded belt, black combat boots, a black t-shirt that said, "I put the fun in funeral" in red writing. She had a studded wristband on each wrist. Kim noticed her golden eyes, pointed ears, claws and fangs. She even smelled of dog demon.

"You two related?" Kim asked, pointing at Sesshomaru and the girl questioningly.

"I am only related to one half-breed. Do not dare think that this one is," but Sesshomaru was cut short when the wicked girl had turned around, punching a blue flame at the ground at he stood. He jumped back and glared at her.

"Hey, hey, the name calling is not necessary." The girl said, wagging her finger at him.

"I'm Kim, this is Derek and that friendly dog over there is Sesshomaru and you are?" Kim asked, boldly poking the spiky-haired girl in the chest.

"Shana." The girl answered before blasting Kim in the face with a flaming punch. She moved nothing except her arm, her facial expressions blank with boredom.

"Heh," Sesshomaru held back a chuckle when he saw Kim writhing on the ground, both hands cupped on her face as she let out growls of pain. The next thing he knew was he was dodging a flaming whip that set fire to the ground where he stood moments before.

"It's not good to laugh at others' pain." Shana stated simply, lowering her hand. Kim reacted quickly and swung her leg, catching Shana's and knocking the girl off her feet, but to everyone's surprise, Shana's body never hit the ground. She twisted over and landed on her hands, pushing herself back to her feet.

"Damn she's fast." Derek whispered under his breath. He saw her golden eyes meet his and he backed away. He noticed that Rin slipped from his grasp and ran up to the girl.

"I'm Rin." The young girl chirped happily to Shana, who looked down at her.

"And I care because?" Shana asked, simply poking Rin in the forehead with one finger and sending the young girl falling to the ground. Shana felt a presence coming up fast and ducked, dodging Sesshomaru's blade as he flew overhead. Shana reached up and grabbed his leg in the midst of it all, letting him land on his stomach.

"Feh. Send me back." Shana ordered Kim, nudging her with her boot. Kim stood up and looked Shana straight in the eye, but was once again beaten in the face.

"If you're going to fight me, then fight me. Don't stand there and think about it." Shana growled impatiently. She turned to the side and held her hand up, catching the wrist of the demon lord.

"You're quick to act, half-breed!" Sesshomaru spat.

"No, you're just too damn predicable." Shana said back plainly, catching his other wrist with her other hand. Shana heard wings flapping and turned to the side and kicked the airborne Derek in the chest, sending the eagle flying backwards. Sesshomaru swung his arms and sent her flying behind him, but as he turned around, Shana had already fired something. The demon lord narrowly dodged the lightning bolt, which struck down a tree.

"Damn!" Sesshomaru growled as he found himself on the defensive when she continued to hold her index and middle fingers out, firing more lightning at him. He flew down at her, dodging her fatal attacks carefully.

_'One strike and I'm dead.'_ Sesshomaru thought to himself as he came closer to her. Shana stopped firing lightning and switched stances. She waved her hand like a blade and sent and arc of fire at Sesshomaru, making him fly up and away from her. Shana frowned when she felt furry things slithering around her and constricting her entire body, limbs and all. She looked down at the black fox's head and kept a blank face as the fox held her face-to-snout.

"Haha, you cunt." Shana stated with a smug smile. The fox whined angrily as is constricted her even more. Shana inhaled deeply and with a roar of anger, she created a huge fire cocoon. Kim let out a roar of pain as her six tails released the fiery demon girl, who leapt at the black fox. Shana jabbed the fox on the back of her neck sharply and landed a few feet away.

"Kim?" Sesshomaru called out when he saw the black fox take one step towards Shana and then collapse motionless to the ground. Her heart still beat and he could hear her breathing, but she was, otherwise, incapacitated.

"Stupid. I hit a major pressure point on your neck that houses, you know, that thing called the spine that connects the brain to the rest of the body?" Shana asked as she put her hands in her pocket, kicking up dirt gently with her boot. A few strands of black hair hung in her face, but otherwise, she looked as flawless as she did when she appeared. No sweat, no cuts, no bruises.

"Your fight is with me." Sesshomaru stated, sheathing his sword and deciding that she wasn't worth swinging his blade.

"Yeah whatever. I'm bored. Where's the food?" Shana asked, sniffing the air before jumping away.

Shana found a large city that was bustling with business. She noticed the strange looks people were giving her, but she cared not. She smelled food and was hungry.

"Hey! You have to pay for that, wench!" a man shouted when the half-demon girl took a few sticks with meat on them, biting off them and giving him a stare that said, "Shut the fuck up or else." The man gulped and let her eat as many as she wanted.

"This place is too happy…it's starting to make me a little itchy." Shana grumbled to herself as she walked around, ignoring the stares she got.

_'Then set it ablaze. Shit.'_ Her demon side growled in response. Shana rolled her eyes in response. She never got the piece of mind everyone else enjoyed with her demon side, but she couldn't deny this one fact…Demon Shana had some good ideas.

"Back, you demon! Back!" an old woman shouted, tossing salt in Shana's face. Shana remained calm and did not react. She simply blinked and stared the old woman down.

_'Hahaha, kill her.'_ Demon Shana's laughter echoed in her mind.

"Stupid two-bit whore old hag." Shana growled as she lit the old woman's gown on fire with just her building rage. Shana then decided to burn it all down. She leapt onto the roof of a hut and snapped her fingers, a blue flame flaring to life in her hand.

"Meh." Shana huffed as she yawned, tossing the flame and watching a hut explode on impact. She summoned another flame and shot it like a basketball, watching it descend on a larger market hut.

"Three-pointer." Shana chirped when she heard the frantic screaming of the citizens when the fires spread to other huts and buildings. She punched out a few more flames and watched them spread and destroy.

"Ahh, tired." She yawned, lying down inside a flaming hut and falling asleep.

Naraku sat from a distance, watching people run out of the flaming city. He smirked when he saw the spiky-haired woman walk inside a hut tiredly. He watched her antics curiously and assumed that she was really no threat. He flew down in the middle of the burning city, walking up to the hut and looking inside where she lay, sprawled out on her back and sleeping soundly.

"An odd woman indeed." Naraku said and just as he took one step in, a huge fireball hit him in the head and then a second one sent him flying backwards.

"Yeah, and?" her voice growled. Naraku stood up and gasped quietly. There she was, sitting on the roof with a sheathed sword resting in her lap. She also had sunglasses on and a lit cigarette resting in her lips.

"You, but…you were," Naraku stopped when he saw the second Shana walking out of the hut, yawning.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Some dick showed up." The Shana on the roof answered, pointing to Naraku lazily. Naraku blinked multiple times, trying to make sure he wasn't as crazy as he felt right about now.

"Oh, yeah, what else is new?" the sleepy Shana replied sarcastically.

"I'm bored." Another Shana chirped as she climbed up on the roof with the original Shana, who had unsheathed her katana blade and was slowly twisting it in her hand, her eyes locked on Naraku, who couldn't tell just what she was staring at because of her sunglasses.

"Get him." She ordered. Naraku watched as the three Shana's hurled fireballs at him.

Kim frowned as Derek and Sesshomaru rubbed their injured limbs, glaring down at her heatedly. Kim was softly rubbing the back of her neck as she realized that some places on her body, arms and legs were still numb. She remembered the feeling. It was just a sharp, nearly painless jab with two fingers that brought Kim, fully transformed, all the way down.

"I seriously thought it wouldn't work." Kim stated uncaringly.

"And yet it did. We have no idea who she is or what she's capable of." Sesshomaru said back.

"I thought she was just a lowly half-breed." Kim remarked in a deep voice. Her only response was the demon lord's foot planting itself in her chest, harshly sending her on her back.

"Do not mock me, fox-wench." Sesshomaru warned as he turned around. Kim sat up quickly and lifted her leg, kicking Sesshomaru in the ass. Derek sighed as he stepped back. Kim and Sesshomaru latched onto each other's necks and began rolling around on the ground, trying to get the upper hand on the other demon.

"Haha, I need a camera." Derek giggled.

"Here," a voice said, planting a camera directly into Derek's opened palm.

"Uh thanks," Derek replied, knowing it was Shana, but getting pictures of Kim and Sesshomaru trying to kill each other was much more important. Plus, he knew he didn't stand a chance against Shana.

"Sooooo, are you going to kill me?" Derek asked Shana, who only chuckled in reply. It made the eagle shiver.

"Damn it Derek! Kill her!" Kim spat, finally getting to her feet. She lunged at Shana, who raised her foot and let Kim plant her face in the boot.

"Don't scuff my boot, bitch." Shana ordered.

"Perish!" Sesshomaru spat, swinging his poisonous claws at Shana's head.

"And you can suck my dick." Shana growled, grabbing his hand and letting the poison melt the skin on her own hand before pulling Sesshomaru to the ground. Shana looked at Derek, who smiled and took her picture.

"I'm your biggest fan! Don't kill me!" Derek pleaded. Shana grinned at him.

"Goddamn paparazzi." She said.

"Ahhhhhh!" Derek shrieked in a high-pitched voice as he sprouted his wings and flew away, dodging the hotter than Hell blue flames. Shana began sprinting after him. Kim and Sesshomaru followed her, but they watched as she rocketed off the ground, flames shooting out of her feet as she flew like a jet after Derek.

"Oh, ohh fuck! Oh fuck me!" Derek breathed with fear as he glanced back, seeing the demonic Shana coming up on him fast. He saw a white blur jump in front of him and Derek flew straight up to dodge the flame.

"Oohhh! Hahahaha!" Kim laughed when she saw the blue flame nail Sesshomaru in the stomach, catching him before he could cancel the attack. Sesshomaru flipped backwards but stayed airborne, flying back at Shana with his claws at the ready.

"You will die…now!" he shouted.

"Bite off this, scooter." Shana replied coolly, thrusting out both fists and firing off a huge fireball that made Sesshomaru have to dive down, which made him open. Shana jetted after him, but just as she went to punch him, another force hit her and sent her flying.

"I got you." Kim said to Sesshomaru. Derek was holding her around her stomach, letting her to freely use her hands.

"Uh oh! Ahhhh! Oh God!" Derek screamed as he dodged the flaming whip. Next he dove out of the way of the lightning bolt. Derek folded his wings in front of him and Kim and began twisting around to create a gust to deflect the blue flames.

"There is more than one of her!" Sesshomaru called out, noticing all the attacks came from different directions. He, Derek and Kim landed on the ground and put their backs to each other, facing outward.

"I have a plan," Kim whispered, leaning back slightly.

"What?" Derek and Sesshomaru asked.

"Kick her ass ASAP or we're done for." Kim said seriously.

"Now why didn't I think of that? You are so smart." Sesshomaru replied with so much sarcasm, it almost hurt Kim's ears, but his displeasure made her laugh.

"How many of her is there?" Derek asked.

"I can't tell." Sesshomaru replied, but he soon got his answer when five different copies of Shana walked up to them. They each stopped a distance away, stamped down one foot and punched out flames simultaneously. Sesshomaru and Kim felt Derek push them down as he began flapping his powerful wings. The gust cancelled out the flames and Derek let Kim and Sesshomaru stand back up. The five Shanas each threw one hand in the air, holding their hands like blades. They cut down and sent out jetting streams of fire that ran across the ground at the three demons.

"My turn!" Kim called out, summoning a strong tornado that encircled her and the other two. She saw the five Shanas smirk in reply when a sixth Shana who had a sword hooked on her belt jumped out. She held her hands up and began moving them in a shoving motion. Shana began running in the opposite direction the tornado was spinning.

"Kim! Quit!" Derek said, but was too late when the tornado was then engulfed with the blue flames. Shana pushed her palms down and threw her hands out, making the flames disappear.

"I will not be bested by a half-breed!" Sesshomaru shouted, pulling Bakusaiga out. He found himself raising it in defense when Shana swung her sword at him. She pushed him back before raising her left hand and jabbing him in the chest with her two fingers.

"Do you feel that? Feels like you'll never breathe again, doesn't it? Now, on your knees, Big Boy." Shana demanded calmly, pressing her fingers harder against his chest. Sesshomaru fell to his knees and with a gentle application of force, Shana pushed him on his back and looked over at Kim and Derek.

"How does she do that?" Derek asked, holding his fists up and spreading his wings slightly.

"There are pressure points all over the body. Hit one and you can stop the flow of energy…it also stings like a bitch when it is hit forcefully." Kim explained knowingly.

"So don't let her hit vital points?"

"Don't let her hit anything. She just stopped his breathing, she paralyzed me earlier, don't let her touch you."

"Touch you where? Here?" a voice asked Kim and before the fox could react, two fingers jabbed her in the neck and another pair nailed her in the lower back. Kim fell to the ground once more, completely conscious, but unable to move.

"Oh crap!" Derek shouted as he went to take off, but Shana caught him in the stomach with a flaming mid-air uppercut. He fell to the ground, his wings gone and unable to summon his demonic energy.

"Oh shit! I think I'm dying!" Derek cried as the intense pain flowed through his body.

Shana looked at each incapacitated demon blankly and then, with a yawn of boredom, she leapt onto a tree branch, let her arms and legs dangle as she lay down and watched her clones disappear with the wind.

"Counting sheep is harder than beating you three." She commented with a smirk.

Sesshomaru awoke and sat up, a foul smell entering his nose. She grimaced slightly and looked down at himself, seeing his lap was covered with ashes. Sesshomaru looked up and glared when he saw Shana laying on the branch, tapping the cigarette and dropping more ash on him.

"How dare you,"

"Shut up, man-bitch." Shana interrupted coldly. Sesshomaru discovered that his voice was caught in his throat. He couldn't reply to that. Man-bitch? What could be said after being called that? It almost felt like she had his balls in her hands now.

"Haha…ha…hahahaha!" Shana laughed. Sesshomaru wondered if she could read minds. He saw Derek and Kim standing and watching him with cocked eyebrows.

"You done sleeping?" Kim asked Sesshomaru.

"Why are you still here?" Sesshomaru asked her.

"Shana didn't give us permission to leave until she was done using you as an ashtray." Derek chirped with a smile. Sesshomaru stood up and turned his head his eyes meeting Shana's…or so he thought. Her eyes, covered by sunglasses, were looking down at Kim.

"I do not need permission to leave." Sesshomaru growled as he walked away.

"Yes you may leave." Shana's voice called after him. Sesshomaru stopped walking and turned around. Shana was now sitting up on the branch with only her legs dangling over. She took one last drag off the cigarette before flicking it away.

"Excuse me?" Sesshomaru asked, deciding to give her one last chance to give him his balls back. Shana exhaled the smoke with a smirk and created a smoke ring. She quickly stuck her hand through the ring and shot a bolt of lightning at Sesshomaru, who dodged it effortlessly.

_'That was just a warning shot. She wasn't meaning to hit me.'_ Sesshomaru thought to himself. Shana leaned back and flipped off the branch, landing back on her feet. She then walked up to Sesshomaru and took off her sunglasses, showing the pure amusement in her eyes.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken called out loudly. It took everything in the demon lord's power not to groan and roll his eyes.

"Stay back." Sesshomaru ordered, but Jaken was too busy screaming and running over anyway to hear his master's order. Shana walked by Sesshomaru, who was wondering why he didn't just kill her right then. Just as that thought crossed his mind, Shana turned her head to look at him.

"Don't get cocky." She said, turning back around in time.

"Don't you dare talk to my lord like that! You wench!" Jaken roared, but Shana's flaming boot sent him flying into the sunset so beautifully that Sesshomaru didn't care to stop her.

"Oooh, pretty lights." Derek cooed as he and Kim clapped for the show. Jaken was set ablaze on contact with her boot. He went from orange fire, to yellow, to blue to white and then a brilliant red when he landed.

"I'm bored. Listen, man-bitch and tacky friends, you obviously can't handle this, so let's not interrupt my nap ever again." Shana announced as her sword started glowing red and in a flash, the anarchic girl was gone completely.

"Haha, now you'll never get your balls back." Derek snickered, pointing at Sesshomaru, who grabbed his hand and squeezed it powerfully.

"And if you continue to poke fun at me, you'll never get this fucking arm back." Sesshomaru warned frigidly.

"Whoa, he cussed. He's serious." Derek said to Kim.

"Rip it off. He'll grow it back, just like you, eh…Big Boy? Hahahaha!" Kim laughed, dodging Sesshomaru's poisonous claws. Derek escaped his grasp and ran away with Kim. Sesshomaru sighed as he looked up at the darkening sky. He heard Jaken staggering up to him, but neither said anything.

"I'll…I'll never get them back." Sesshomaru grumbled, speaking of his figurative balls that Shana stole and tap danced all over.

"You act like they'll never come back. Those two bastards can't seem to stay away from you, my lord." Jaken replied, referring to Kim and Derek. Sesshomaru glared down at Jaken, who didn't even have time to squeal before the demon lord kicked him, sending him flying just as Shana had done…minus the pretty flames, of course.


	16. Chapter 16

True Story That I Made Up

Kim gulped hard when she heard heavy footsteps slowly walk inside the hut. She immediately identified who it was by the smell. Shana was back and probably in black, too. The footsteps stopped next to Kim and the next thing the fox knew was something sharp and cold poking her cheek.

"I know you're awake." Shana announced coolly, pressing her sword's blade harder against Kim's cheek and drawing blood from the cut. Kim sat up and glared up at the girl, pressing her hand against her cut cheek.

"Why are you here?" Kim asked. Shana walked over to the window and stared out. The storm had just now reached them and the lightning flashed viciously, lighting Shana's face and revealing the amused smirk pulled onto her face.

"Oh shit, what'd you do now?" Kim sighed.

"Nothing…he started it." Shana replied, looking back out the window when another bolt flashed, revealing Naraku's form approaching the hut.

"Goddamn it, Shana! Why did you lead him here?"

"He asked where you were."

"I'll deal with you later, cunt." Kim spat as she walked outside to greet the half-demon man.

"Yeah sure, whatever." Shana chuckled back, not even the least bit threatened.

"Good evening, Kim." Naraku said, crossing his arms and lowering his barrier to show that he meant no harm for the time being.

"You better have a damn good excuse," Kim growled back, finally lowering her hand from her face when the cut had healed shut.

"Magatsuhi…he needs to be destroyed."

"Haha, really now? What gave you that idea?" Kim giggled sarcastically. Naraku's crimson eyes looked behind her and Kim turned her head, watching as Shana walked out of the hut, sniffing the air. The wind was howling and the thunder and lightning were upon them, but the rain had yet to come.

"No rain." Shana stated simply.

"Nah, really?" Kim asked back.

"What informed you? The dry conditions?" Naraku added on. Both Kim and Naraku found themselves stepping back and getting ready for an attack when Shana's golden eyes flashed a murderous red.

"Yes, the air, is in fact, too dry! There is no moisture in the air nor in the clouds!" Shana barked back. Kim blinked as she realized that the spiky haired girl was right. There was no humidity that usually came with storms.

"So what?" Kim replied.

"So this is a demon's doing. I thought you people were smart." Shana remarked as she ran off in the direction the wind was coming from. Naraku stayed put and watched as Kim stared after Shana, wanting so badly to follow, but Kim was growing weaker. Something was draining her of her powers.

"You are not going?" Naraku finally asked.

"No." she replied reluctantly.

"Hm," Naraku hummed as he disappeared in a cloud of miasma, deciding on going back to hiding and letting his incarnation watch the battle for him. Or maybe he would go watch it live.

"Who the hell are you?" Shana asked the tall woman standing a few yards away from her. The wind around them was furious and cold, which was odd. The weather was warm.

"I do not need to answer to a half-breed." The woman answered coolly.

"Oh, ok then." Shana replied, punching a flame at her. The woman responded by swinging a golden staff and vanquishing the flame with her cold wind.

"Pathetic." The woman chuckled, her red eyes locked on Shana, who put her sunglasses on, cracking her neck and fingers. Next she rolled her shoulders forward and cracked them. The demon woman yawned, but soon found out that was the wrong thing to do, because the next thing she felt was a flaming, iron-hard fist connecting with her face.

"Too easy…I think I'll name you Slut." Shana chuckled as she dodged the angry demon woman's staff. Shana also noticed Kim's scent seemed to be on the staff as well.

"You think you're funny!" the woman barked.

"Are you Kim's lesbian lover or something?" Shana asked, dodging a fatal blow to her head by ducking. She grabbed the staff with her left hand, frowning when a blue glow emitted from it. Shana watched emotionlessly as the ice crept up her arm, threatening to freeze her over.

"Heh, this should shut you up."

"Heh, this should smarten you up." Shana giggled, raising her body temperature and watching the ice melt. She jabbed the woman in the face with her free fist and yanked the staff away from her. Shana looked at the staff with curiosity.

_'Half-demon…do you desire my power?'_ a deep voice asked as the staff started glowing red. Shana cocked an eyebrow.

_'Tell the man-voice to go suck a dick.'_ Shana's demon growled in reply.

"Bleh, fuck staffs. Swords are better." Shana stated, tossing the staff back to her opponent, who looked up when the new fighter appeared in all his glory.

"Why would you rearm her?" Sesshomaru asked Shana.

"She's all yours, man-bitch. Be a doll and kill her for me." Shana replied, leaping onto a tree branch and relaxing. Sesshomaru almost wanted to just stab himself in his manhood to save Shana the effort of doing it herself.

"You coward!" the demon woman hollered.

"Yawn." Shana remarked uncaringly.

"I remember you." Sesshomaru stated when he finally looked at the woman, who looked back at him with a smirk.

"I assume Kim is not with you?" she asked him.

"Be careful about that answer, man-bitch. That lady is Kim's lesbian lover." Shana announced tonelessly.

"Thank you for the information, Shana. Now go die." Sesshomaru replied.

"Haha, I know you weren't talking to me." Shana giggled, but something in her voice said, "Don't make me get up and kick your ass again."

"With this staff, Kim's powers will be mine and I will finally achieve my ninth and final tail." The woman stated, holding her staff in a defensive state.

"What was that? You were going to get some tail from Kim and then achieve entrance to her pussy?" Shana asked loudly, casting a wicked smile her way. Sesshomaru almost offered to stab the demon fox-woman in the ass so Shana wouldn't have to waste her time and effort doing it.

"You…I hate you." The fox woman growled, looking down when she heard something. She saw a small, furry squirrel scurrying across her path. She waved her staff and sliced it in half. Sesshomaru gasped slightly when he felt an awful demonic aura come out of nowhere. He heard a feral growl as a black blur flew past him. Shana was running on all fours and tackled the demon woman to the ground, firing off one flaming punch after another until the face was unrecognizable.

"Damn it…faster, legs, faster!" Kim breathed when she tried to run towards the demon aura, which had disappeared and was replaced with another. She broke into a sprint and stopped when she came to a clearing, that was being burnt down by an enraged Shana, who was taking her anger out on Sesshomaru. Kim saw that the half-demon girl had transformed, two jagged, crimson red stripes on each cheek and her eyes gone red. Shana's movements were more animal-like, her flames explosive.

"Ugh, crap," Kim exhaled when she threw a rock, trying to hit Shana in the head. It struck the girl in the arm, which was enough distraction. Shana looked over at Kim and gave her the most cruel, demonic smile the fox demon had ever seen.

"You're in no condition to be pissing me off, bitch!" Shana howled, jetting over to Kim with flames. The fox girl gulped, knowing she wouldn't last a minute with a transformed Shana, let alone a few minutes with her in her normal state, but Sesshomaru took the opportunity to kill her then.

"Do not turn your back on me!" Sesshomaru growled, swinging his arm and striking Shana in the back harshly with his green whip of light. Shana let out a howl of pain as she felt her skin being ripped open. She took another step towards Kim, still smiling and now laughing.

"Oh shit! This bitch is crazy! Ahhh!" Kim cried out, leaping over Shana and dodging the blue flames that engulfed the ground where she was standing moments before. Kim turned around and narrowly dodged the swiping of Shana's powerful claws and just as sudden as Shana's attacks came, they stopped and the girl straightened her posture as she looked up.

"If it isn't my best friend," Shana growled as her demon blood seemed to retreat back, as if she had complete control over it in the first place.

"Hahaha, you sound so pleased to see me." Naraku chuckled, landing a few yards away from her. He looked down at her first victim, whose body still clung to the golden staff. Naraku looked up and sent out tentacles, grasping the half-demon girl and pulling her to himself. What surprised him the most was that she put up no fight.

"Now what shall I do with you? I could absorb you and inherit all of your skills, but that would be most boring." Naraku said, reaching out to stroke her cheek, but a low, feral growl came from her throat as her eyes turned blood red once more. Naraku quickly pulled his hand back and looked at Kim and Sesshomaru.

"I suppose I could just take her." He said.

"You would be doing me a favor." Sesshomaru replied as he turned around, walking away. Kim followed, whispering something to Sesshomaru before laughing warmly.

Naraku gripped his fists tightly, knowing his claws were digging into the flesh of his hands, but that mattered not. He used to swear up and down that Kim and Derek were the most unresponsive, hopeless beings to ever have the disappointment of running into, but that title was stolen and redefined by Shana, who sat against the wall of the cave he hid in, smoking the foul-smelling cigarette and lazily spinning her sword in her hand.

"So, Shana, do you refuse to assist me?" Naraku asked through gritted teeth. His lone incarnation stood at the entrance of the cave, once again in amazement at how one insignificant half-breed seemed to make Naraku burn like the cigarette in her mouth.

"The question is will you assist me?" Shana asked back without removing the cancer stick from her mouth. Byakuya held back a chuckle when Naraku slammed his head into the rocky wall. He took a deep breath before readdressing Shana.

"I, Naraku, will not help you, but Byakuya would be more than happy to." Naraku replied.

"What?" Byakuya asked nervously.

"I think I'll call you Brittany," Shana stated, pointing at Byakuya. "And you Nancy." She finished, pointing at Naraku, who was about to explode into millions of pieces.

"I will kill you in the slowest way I know, you little bitch!" Naraku growled impatiently.

"Nothing will make me happier, Nancy. Hey, Brittany, get your bitch ass over here," Shana ordered, ignoring Naraku's verbal outbursts towards her. Byakuya stepped forward, only to have a flaming fist uppercut him in the chin, making him fly up and strike the ceiling of the cave and fall on his face on the floor.

"What did he do to deserve that?" Naraku asked, holding back a chuckle. It was funny as Hell how his incarnation hit two different things with just one fist being shot.

"Hm? Oh, I needed an excuse?" Shana asked back, pulling out her sword and jumping out of the cave. Naraku and Byakuya watched as she landed on the cliff across the valley from them. Her sword's blade pulsed as an orange aura appeared from it. Shana flicked her cigarette off the ledge, looking back up at the confused Naraku and Byakuya. She flipped them the bird while slicing her orange-glowing blade downwards.

"N…Naraku what is she," Byakuya began.

"Ahhhhh! What the fuck?" Naraku bellowed hysterically when he looked up, seeing the five asteroids falling from the sky and disintegrating the mountain entirely. Shana was walking away from the destructive and flaming scene, whistling a happy little tune to herself as she stared at her blade.

"There was supposed to be six asteroids, not five…stupid piece of shit." She growled as she sheathed her sword distastefully.

Kim and Derek watched from a distance as the five, ridiculously large asteroids fell from the sky with unmatched speed and power, demolishing the ominous mountain and pretty much everything around it. The two demons gulped as they glanced at one another. They knew exactly who did it.

Sesshomaru saw the show as well, his eyes narrowing when he caught Shana's scent leading away from the impact point. He froze entirely when she appeared on a tree branch out of nowhere, her arms crossed as she looked up in the sky.

"I figured I'd tell you that I just fucked up one-third of your property." Shana chirped, swinging her legs back and forth slowly as they dangled from the branch.

"I know…I saw." He replied bitterly. The Western Lands were all that were useful that his father left him. Now a big chunk was gone.

"Yup…that was also where Naraku and his gay lover were hiding out…I don't think they'll be hiding there anymore."

"I suppose not. Do you have any clue how many squirrels you just murdered?" Sesshomaru asked with a cocked eyebrow. He felt his balls drop and grow a strong steel coating when he saw Shana's eye twitch and her mouth twist downwards in an angry fashion. She also said nothing back.

"You are no longer known as man-bitch." She stated after a brief moment of silence.

"Heh, as if I reacted to the name in the first place." Sesshomaru stated.

"I think I know why I haven't killed you yet," Shana began, jumping down from her perch.

"You've been trying to kill me? I hadn't noticed."

"It's that furry parasite on your shoulder…reminds me of squirrels." She chirped. It was Sesshomaru's turn to frown. He just went from man-bitch to squirrel.

"And we all know what I do to squirrels now, so," Shana said as she pulled her sword out, letting the orange aura appear around the blade. Sesshomaru pulled his sword out and stopped his attack when he heard her chuckling. She swiped her blade downward and began walking away. The demon lord immediately looked up, expecting the asteroids to shower down upon him, but stopped when he felt a small rock pelt him in the head.

"Made you look," her voice called out as her form disappeared in the darkness of the forest. Sesshomaru rubbed the spot where the rock struck him in the temple, a look of complete distaste on his face. When he was sure she was gone, he let out a loud breath of relief.

"She just about made me piss myself." He grumbled, sheathing his sword and shaking his head. Nothing really happened and he was already tired.

Inuyasha and Miroku watched nervously as Kim and Derek jumped up into each other's faces, screaming something at one another in English. They just kept screaming the same thing, back and forth, and they sounded genuinely angry about it, but in reality, they just got bored with the silence.

"I DON'T HAVE THROAT CANCER!" Derek bellowed in a throaty, guttural voice.

"I DON'T HAVE THROAT CANCER!" Kim responded in a similar voice.

"I DON'T!" Derek screamed. Kim transformed into Sesshomaru and smirked before opening her mouth.

"I like cocks!" Sesshomaru shouted, his voice perfectly imitated by the fox girl. Derek laughed as he pointed at Sesshomaru.

"You like cocks!" Derek agreed.

"Yeah I do! Hahaha," Sesshomaru laughed before transforming into what looked like, to Inuyasha and Miroku, a fat, purple, over-sized baby.

"Ahhh! Ahhh! Tinky-Winky!" Derek called out excitedly. Kim disappeared into another cloud of smoke and out came Naraku…in a leopard-print thong and a bowtie around his neck.

"Eeeewwww! Kim!" Derek screamed in a high-pitched voice.

"I think I'm getting better at this transformation shit…ooh! Parrrrrty Boy!" Naraku called out as he danced out of the hut, where he found Kagome. He immediately latched onto her and began a wild and crazy grind on her, but Kim had to back off because Kagome's high-pitched shriek just about burst her eardrums.

"Oh shit! Calm down, it's just me!" Kim said, still in the disturbing Naraku form. Kagome had her hand on her chest, which was rising and falling frantically.

"That's so gross!" Kagome hollered.

"You know you like this…now a diva is a female version of a hustler, of a hustler, of a, of a hustler!" Naraku sang as he danced around in a circle before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Out came Sesshomaru again, who started a dance that only gangsters straight out of the hood could perform. Derek danced out and joined the fake Sesshomaru in a dance off.

"I wanna take a ride on your disco stick, Derek! Let me ride it!" Sesshomaru called out possessively, chasing after the eagle demon.

"Haha, quit playing, Kim! Quit! No! Get away from me! Noooooo!" Derek squawked as he flew on top of a hut.

"I'll get him hard, show him what I got…come here, Derek!" Sesshomaru sang as he danced after the eagle. Kagome was in a hopeless fit of laughter. She knew it was Kim, but still, the imagination seemed to tune out that information when it's happening right in front of her.

"Ahhahahahaha!" Derek howled as he landed on the ground.

"What happened?" Kagome giggled when she saw the false Sesshomaru limping back into view, his hand planted on his ass as his face showed pain.

"Ahaha, hahaha, she did this…hahaha, this flip! And she, ahahaha!" Derek tried to explain, but failed.

"Ahh, dude, my fucking ass burrrrns! I flipped and landed on my ass and skidded at least ten feet!" Sesshomaru groaned as he walked by Kagome and Derek, who both saw that the ass of his pants were completely gone.

"Haaaah…haaaah…hahahahaha! She…she has a hole right where the butt is! Hahaha!" Derek cried out joyously.

"Say what…oh shit," Sesshomaru growled, realizing that he was missing the ass of his pants.

"Haha, easier to butt-fuck." Derek giggled as he walked in.

"I do, I do…love Clay Aiken." Sesshomaru responded coolly and arrogantly.

"Haha, dude, Kim, you and I are going to be best friends forever."

"Yes, yes…until dicks do us part." Sesshomaru chirped before disappearing in a cloud of smoke and returning Kim to her original form.


	17. Chapter 17

Meh

Kagome sighed as the fox and eagle demons pranced around her house, drunkenly singing and passing shot after shot after shot to each other. Derek was the uncoordinated, dumb ass drunk and Kim was the goofy and mischievous drunk. In other words, it's like they never changed in the first place.

"Can you two be a little quieter? I have to pass these exams tomorrow or I can't graduate." Kagome pleaded.

"Ahhhhhh! Haha, yeah, we'll shut up! Ahhhhh!" Derek laughed as Kim put him in a vicious headlock, squeezing his neck powerfully. He picked Kim up and tried to ram her into the wall, but Kim athletically flipped backwards and let Derek ram his own head into the wall instead.

"Please don't dent the wall." Kagome exhaled with despair. They never listened.

"Oh dude, we're on the tele!" Kim exclaimed as she and Derek scrammed into the living room. Kagome sighed and decided that meant they would be a little more entertained by watching themselves on TV. She continued scribbling notes into her notebook, only to throw her pencil down and let out an irritated groan when there was a knock on the door.

"Ooooaaaaaaahhhhh! Byaaaahhhh!" Derek shouted, tripping in the hallway on the way to the door.

"Shut up, I've got it…um, hello?" Kagome answered, frowning when she saw a tall man with short, jet-black hair standing before her. He was wearing sunglasses, even though it was nighttime. She saw the gun on his hip and the badge hanging from the belt.

"Good evening, I'm from the FBI…from the U.S.A." The man stated, holding his badge up to her.

"Hi." Kagome replied uncertainly.

"Ahh! Dude! It's Jeff! Hey Jeff!" Derek hollered excitedly as he and Kim ran to the door. Kagome stepped out of the way and watched as the tall man was tackled and dog piled onto the ground.

"Do you two have any clue how much shit you've put me under? Goddamn it, get off!" Jeff shouted angrily in English as the two demons stood up. The man stood up and brushed himself off, taking his sunglasses off and letting his bluish-gray eyes glare at them. He saw the bottle of alcohol in Kim's clawed hand and snatched it away, dumping it out and holding it up.

"Getting drunk! Destroying property! Disappearing without telling anyone where you've gone! You've showed your demonic powers to a young girl! Is there a dead body or ten that I should be alerted about while I'm here?" Jeff barked angrily, looking from Kim to Derek, both who were staring at him, small smiles playing on their faces.

"Um, maybe, I don't really remember," Kim replied smoothly, her six tails sprouting immediately and claws and fangs elongating.

"Are you thirsty?" Kagome asked Jeff, who stared back at her blankly.

"You're not scared of them?" he asked her.

"I've seen worse. Come in before someone sees you guys." Kagome replied. Jeff grunted when he felt a few of Kim's tails grasp his body and slowly lift him into the air as she carried him into the house. She crawled into the kitchen and placed Jeff on his feet carefully as she and Derek stood still, waiting for Jeff to cut loose on them again.

"Oh, thank you very much…have these two caused you any grief?" Jeff asked Kagome, who was shocked that he spoke so softly after his outburst.

"Well, they're Kim and Derek, I can't expect anything else from them. I enjoy them, I really do," Kagome replied with a smile. Jeff took a long drink of water while cocking an eyebrow as he looked at the two demons smiled widely.

"Yeah, see, she loves us, we aren't bothering anybody." Derek insisted as he put his arm around Jeff's shoulder.

"Let go of me, it's late at night." Jeff growled as Derek backed away quickly.

"So, you know they're demons? I thought it was a big secret." Kagome said as she sat down, inviting Jeff to join her. The man sat down and nodded.

"It's a big secret to the country. Government secret. There are other demons out in America that we keep an eye on and keep in check. For the most part, they're perfectly fine…with the exception of these two clowns who are part of the "Fuck Up Jeff's Life" crowd." Jeff ended with a glare at Kim and Derek, both who snickered as they walked away.

"How do you control demons?" Kagome asked.

"Special weapons, but like I said, I've never had to be violent with any demon I've dealt with. I wish I could be violent with Kim and Derek, but neither of them are harmful to anyone, just themselves and maybe a car or two." Jeff replied, also with a growl.

"Haha, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your nice, black car." Kim giggled from behind him, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling her face against Jeff's.

"Hit it? Kim, you fucking obliterated it." Jeff said back sternly.

"At least you weren't inside," Kim insisted, letting go of the man and turning around, sitting on the floor with Derek as they tried to rest of the alcohol.

"Wow, so is that how you're able to hide them? Since they're popular, what's going to happen when people notice that they don't, you know, age?" Kagome asked, curiously.

"They are scheduled to get into a severe plan accident five years from now…and they will die, but not really. The world will think they are dead, but they'll go into hiding for a few years and continue on with life." Jeff explained.

"Plane crash, like Lynyrd Skynyrd," Derek said as Kim giggled in response.

"That's terrible!" Kagome insisted.

"That's what we have to do to keep the peace. I don't like doing it, but," Jeff stopped when a black, fluffy tail with a white tip snaked around his face and tickled his nose. It pulled away when he sneezed.

"Bless you!" Kim chirped.

"Stop it. Anyway, if people were to learn of demons' existence, the holy people would try to exterminate them and the demons will in return attack the humans. It keeps the…peace." Jeff rolled his eyes when the fluffy tail sensually traced his ear and dragged down his neck.

"Kim," Jeff warned, holding up his left hand and flashing the ring.

"Ew, you married that hoe?" Derek asked with disgust.

"Don't make me shoot you." Jeff said back with a sigh.

"Dude, I could have a tea break before you could fire that stupid thing." Derek said back.

"You want to make a bet on that?" Jeff asked.

"No, I'm too buzzed." Derek said back.

"How old are you?" Kagome asked Jeff.

"Thirty. I've been dealing with these two bozos for five years now and it's been Hell." Jeff replied with a chuckle.

"News…From Hell." Derek and Kim chanted in deep voices before erupting in evil laughter.

"You two need to cool it on that show. You're pissing people off." Jeff stated.

"Man, fuck you." Derek replied.

"Word." Kim agreed.

The next day, after convincing Jeff to cover for them once more, Kim and Derek decided that they were going to take one more run in the Feudal Era before leaving forever. They had important things to attend to and had to grow up quickly.

"Hey," Kim chirped when she found Sesshomaru walking by a river, seemingly searching for something. He turned to her and blinked, staying in a relaxed pose.

"What do you want?" Sesshomaru asked her.

"Nothing, I was just saying bye because…I'm going away. I won't be coming back." Kim said to him. He stared back at her silently before looking down.

"I see…move!" Sesshomaru shouted when he sensed Naraku's sudden appearance. The demon lord shoved Kim to the ground, making Naraku's tentacles miss her entirely and graze Sesshomaru's armor.

"Ah, dick!" Kim hissed, but remaining on the ground when Sesshomaru stepped between her and Naraku, his sword held in his hand at the ready.

"Heh, since when do you protect her?" Naraku asked with a smirk.

"I don't, I'm just here to kill you." Sesshomaru retorted. Kim slowly sat up and glared at Naraku, who looked like he was in a kill-for-no-reason mood.

"On your feet, Kim." Sesshomaru ordered calmly. The fox demon was quick to jump up as she put her hand on Sesshomaru's arm, gently pushing his blade down. Sesshomaru glanced at Kim, who was transforming into her demon fox form, except she actually grew to her true size, which was towering over all of the trees, almost like a mountain.

"Kim, my shard," Naraku growled, only to have the defiant roar of the black fox as a reply. Naraku summoned his barrier when the green flames shot out of Kim's snout and struck the barrier powerfully.

"Damn!" Naraku hissed when he realized that he had not fully recovered from his battle with Kikyo, which almost destroyed him entirely. One of Kim's six tails struck the barrier and sent waves of force through them. Next her paw swiped the barrier and sent Naraku flying backwards. He decided to escape now and save himself from more suffering.

"Coward." Sesshomaru said under his breath when he saw his enemy vanish in the cloud of miasma. Kim let out an irritated growl before transforming back into her humanoid form.

"Good luck killing that fucker. All he does is run and summon barriers. It's no fun fighting him." Kim spat as she walked up to Sesshomaru.

"Did it take you that long to notice?" Sesshomaru asked, but he received no answer when Kim continued walking past him, jumping away swiftly.

Jeff yawned as he sat at Kagome's home, drinking coffee and having a conversation with her mother and her grandfather. He had taken care of all the problems and controversy surrounding Kim and Derek and hoped that the two demons would return to the States quietly and without much struggle. His boss also warned him that if the two refused to go back, that he would have to slay them. America couldn't afford another controversy caused by its inability to keep its secret demons in line.

"More coffee?" Kagome's mother asked.

"Sure, thank you." Jeff said, looking up when he saw Kim and Derek walk into the kitchen, looking quite gloomy. He figured it was because they were being held down, but each demon had a specific reason for their sadness.

"You two want a drink before we leave?" Jeff asked.

"Way ahead of you," Derek stated, pulling a bottle out from his pocket and taking a swig before passing it off to Kim, who chugged quite a bit of it.

"You two are going to Alcoholics Anonymous when we get back to California, not even joking." Jeff growled, feeling his face burn when they both snorted arrogantly.

"I can stop whenever I want, I just don't want to." Kim retorted, handing the rest of the alcohol to Derek, who downed the rest quickly, burping loudly.

"For real, AA is for quitters." Derek growled.

"Haha, it really is." Kim snickered.

"It's part of the deal or you will be killed." Jeff said.

"Fuck you." Kim and Derek growled back. Both demons' heads turned to the door when it was flung open, Inuyasha carrying Kagome on his back, barging in quickly.

"You two, don't leave yet!" Kagome called out frantically, jumping off the dog-boy's back and running up to them.

"We have to." Kim said back.

"No, we need your help! Come on!" Kagome replied, grabbing Derek's arm and pulling on it to make him follow. He looked at Kim, who looked back. Jeff saw the mischief gleam in their eyes when small smirks stretched onto their lips.

"No, no, no! I will lose my job if you guys do this again! Please don't!" Jeff whined, finding himself running after the demons.

"Hurry Kim!" Derek urged when the purple glow engulfed them, Jeff grabbing onto Derek's leg and being pulled back into the past with them.

"You two are fucking dead!" Jeff barked.

"Dude, chill out," Kim yawned back as they landed on the other side.

"Kim, your shard is the only one left! Naraku got Kohaku's!" Kagome said when they climbed out of the well.

"Ohs nose!" Derek chuckled as he placed Jeff on the ground.

"I brought my gun." Jeff stated, glaring at Derek heatedly.

"What would you do for a Klondike bar, Jeff?" Kim asked as she transformed into her fox form, but the smaller version. Jeff climbed onto her back and mumbled insults under his breath. Derek sprouted his wings and laughed.

"Follow us and don't get killed!" Inuyasha ordered, jumping away gracefully.

"Woooo!" Derek cheered, flying after him and watching Kim take off running, giving Jeff one Hell of a ride. She weaved in and out of trees, tilting and jumping, almost bucking Jeff of her back, but she kept one of her tails wrapped around him just in case he lost his grip.

"So what's going on?" Derek called out.

"I have a plan! Kim, give me your shard!" Kagome yelled back.

"Grrrrrrr!" Kim growled.

"She said no way in Hell!" Derek translated in agreement.

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing!" Kagome insisted. Kim barked defiantly once more and sped up her pace.

"You said it's the only one Naraku doesn't have! Why the hell would you take it from the best protection around?" Derek asked curiously.

"The best protection? How funny!" Naraku's voice echoed and Kim found herself caught in an invisible web, growling and whining with frustration.

"Uh oh!" Derek panicked, diving down to help.

"The shard! Now!" Naraku demanded, flying out to attack the fox, only to stop when Jeff held his gun up and fired three bullets into Naraku's head. Naraku expected them just to fly through him, but unbeknownst to him, they were blessed, special bullets used to kill demons of the future.

"Ahhhh! My head!" Naraku howled when the intense burning sensation began. He heard the fox make a noise that sounded like laughing before it exhaled green flames to destroy the invisible webs and snares that held it.

"Kim, what the hell are you doing?" Jeff barked, but held on when Kim was finally free from the trap. She leapt in the air and tossed Jeff to Derek, who caught him.

"You've defied me for the last time! Perish!" Naraku bellowed, plowing his countless tentacles into the fox's muscled body. He watched as her dark red blood stained her black coat. She let out a weak growl, tails twitching slowly.

"Kim! No! Kim!" Derek yelped.

"Damn you, Naraku!" Inuyasha growled as he swung his sword, but Naraku's barrier appeared at the last second.

"Where is the shard, Kim? You will suffer and agonize until I find it," Naraku said, searching her body. Kim held her head up and let out a loud, ear-piercing howl, almost shaking the earth. Kagome stood behind Inuyasha and frowned when she realized that Kim didn't have the shard anywhere on her. Kagome saw that Jeff had it unknowingly in his pocket.

"Kim must have slipped it when she threw him," Kagome whispered to herself, deciding that not saying anything was wisest.

"You don't have it." Naraku finally said, dropping the injured fox on the ground. His crimson eyes connected with Derek's yellow ones.

"Bring it on, asshole!" Derek called out, wondering how he was going to hold Jeff and fight for his life at the same time.

"Give me the shard and I'll spare your life," Naraku said.

"Dude, Kim had it last! I have no fucking clue what she did with it!" Derek snarled truthfully, but Naraku wasn't buying it. He launched his tentacles at Derek and smirked when Jeff began panicking.

"Is this what you two fuck-tards call fun? You are sick! Sick, sick, sick fucks!" Jeff howled frightfully as Derek dipped and dived out of Naraku's grasp.

Sesshomaru flew through the air as fast as he could. He thought he smelled Kim's blood and he was sure of it when the wind blew and carried her cry for help to his ears. Sesshomaru also sensed Naraku's presence and frowned when he caught the sent of an unknown human.

"I shouldn't be surprised, it is Kim and Derek after all," Sesshomaru growled to himself. He appeared on the scene and saw Kim's motionless body and Derek dodging Naraku's attacks skillfully, holding the human in his arms.

"Damn it, just die already!" Inuyasha yelled at Naraku, who dodged his blade. Sesshomaru went to attack, but he stopped when he saw Kim transform back into her humanoid form, writhing in pain as she tried to catch her breath.

"Sesshomaru! What're you doing here?" Inuyasha asked viciously. The elder dog demon ignored his brother and advanced towards Kim, only to be stopped by Naraku's tentacles.

"She will die and I won't allow anyone to save her!" Naraku laughed, swiping at Derek again. Derek flipped and saw the jewel shard fall out of Jeff's pocket.

"Fuck, damn, shit, piss!" Derek growled, diving after it frantically, but Naraku caught it and held it with a wide smile on his face.

"Finally! After all of these years, I have finally completed it," Naraku laughed, combining the shard into the jewel without hesitance. He disappeared into his cloud of miasma, laughing maniacally as he disappeared, his presence still felt as the sky darkened and the wind picked up viciously.

"Kim!" Derek cried out, dropping Jeff and running up to her worriedly. Sesshomaru looked down and saw that she had already passed. He walked up to her slowly, kneeling down with Tenseiga at the ready.

"Move," Sesshomaru ordered Derek, who backed away, wondering what he was up to. Sesshomaru saw the minions of the afterlife and cut them down, sheathing his sword and holding Kim in his arms, hearing her heart slowly beat back to life. Her wounds began to heal and she finally opened her eyes.

"Whoa," she groaned, gritting her teeth.

"Dude…you saved her?" Derek asked curiously.

"Ew, why are you holding me? Get off!" Kim barked, shoving Sesshomaru off her and getting to her feet.

"Quit being a bitch! He saved you! You're alive! Yay!" Derek shouted happily, picking Kim up and hugging her tightly.

"Ahh, I can't breathe!" Kim gasped.

"Damn it, why couldn't you just leave her? Now I have to deal with her." Jeff huffed, placing his gun back in the holder. Sesshomaru ignored him and looked at Inuyasha, who was smirking at him knowingly.

"You like her, don't you?" Inuyasha asked spitefully.

"Unlike you, I have the ability to save my allies, so I will do so." Sesshomaru replied calmly.

"Took you long enough, shit." Kim growled.

"Ungrateful fox." Sesshomaru growled back.

"Dumb dog." Kim growled again. Both demons glared at each other before snorting at each other and going their separate ways.

"Oh fuck," Derek chuckled, rubbing his head. He knew they would have to cooperate eventually to kill Naraku.

AN- I know, took me long enough to fucking update. Haha, sorry.


	18. Chapter 18

Hellooooooo Boys

AN- Well, I'm back from vacation, but that doesn't explain why it takes me so long to update this story. I write for this story only when I'm pissed…which seems to be happening less and less these days.

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Sesshomaru sighed as he gently laid Rin next to the two-headed dragon demon, which snorted curiously at Sesshomaru. The demon lord gently stroked the girl's face, looking down at her for a moment longer before slowly standing up, turning his head when he heard footsteps approaching him.

"I'm going to be the one to kill Naraku, not you, so stay out of my way." Inuyasha growled demandingly. Sesshomaru snorted quietly in reply. Both brothers ran outside when they heard a huge explosion.

"Yeeeeeeehaw! Yeehaw! Oh yeah, hahaha! He brought all of Japan to get its ass kicked! Wooooo!" Kim howled amusingly as she rode on the back of a bull demon, which was bucking crazily to try and knock her off.

"Kim! Give me back my gun you little bitch!" Jeff hollered, running after the bull demon and fox demon quickly.

"No!" Kim shouted defiantly.

"Duck!" Derek barked loudly, swooping overhead with multiple bat demons and bird demons soaring after him.

"Duuuuuuck," he laughed maniacally.

"Goose, mother fucker!" Kim laughed, swiping off the bull's head with her claws and leaping in the air. Derek flapped his wings and then dove out of the way. Kim whipped up a windstorm and Sesshomaru stopped moving when Kagura's scent entered his nostrils. He saw the leaves and flower petals floating and darting. The demon lord quickly ran back into the hut, whisking Rin into his arms and flying out of the hut when he remembered what Kim was capable of.

"Kim, you're insane!" Jeff hollered angrily as Derek flew him away. Kim snapped her fingers and landed in the outskirts of the town, watching as everything in the middle of her storm was ripped to shreds by the petals and leaves.

"Mother fucker I'm ill." Kim stated, the wind dying down and the air soon filled with the scent of blood. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and focused on Kagura's scent again, but it was soon washed away with the blood. Sesshomaru opened his eyes and locked them on Kim, who slowly turned around, her icy blue eyes flashing with anger.

"Where is he?" Inuyasha grumbled under his breath. They were Naraku's minions, but Naraku's scent was nowhere to be found. Sesshomaru placed Rin on the back of Ah-Un and turned back to Kim, who was grasping at her throat, trying to suppress a roar of pain.

'Kim, show me what happens when a fox demon has all nine of its tails,' a voice whispered maliciously. The fox demon fell to her knees and was now transforming, six tails sprouting and growing until she was the full-sized giant fox demon. Sesshomaru saw her eyes were glazed over, as if in a trance, her tails waving side to side.

"Seven…she has seven tails now," Derek whispered, still holding onto Jeff.

"Should I shoot her?" Jeff asked. Derek gulped when Sesshomaru landed on the ground, sheathing his sword and looking up at Kim challengingly.

"I will be your opponent," Sesshomaru stated, his eyes flashing red and body being engulfed by his red aura as he transformed into his demon dog form, barking at the fox as if to say, "Bring it."

"It's about to get nasty up in here! Woooo!" Derek cheered, flying up higher to avoid being struck by any tails.

Kim opened her snout and fired green flames at Sesshomaru, who jumped to the side and began charging at her. He tackled her, but soon found his front-right paw being caught by a black tail. The fox let out a deep growling noise that sounded like laughing as the other tails began slithering around Sesshomaru's body, tightening around his neck, legs and stomach. Sesshomaru broke free momentarily and bit Kim on the shoulder with his poisonous fangs. She let go of him and Sesshomaru began weighing her down, but she slapped him with a paw before tackling him.

"Wooo, yeah, kick his ass!" Derek cheered.

"Kim isn't herself and yet you cheer for her?" Jeff asked.

"She's my friend. I'm behind her always." Derek chirped.

"You are sick in the head, you know that?" Jeff replied with a groan. He never got why anarchy was so appealing to the two demons. He had met quite a few demons and they were perfectly sane. Jeff then thought about the human race and huffed. Where there were sane, there were the insane. Even in the demon society.

"Ooh! Ouch! He's definitely going to be feeling that tomorrow." Derek commented when one of Kim's many tails constricted around Sesshomaru his chest. Another tail snaked around Sesshomaru's front right leg and began pulling on it, causing painful strain in the dog demon's muscles.

"Screw him! The bitch is mine!" Inuyasha hollered as he charged his blade up for an attack, but Kim's massive head snapped in his direction as she let out a snarl, one of the unoccupied tails sweeping Inuyasha away. The half demon grasped onto the fur of her tail and freed his Tetsusaiga to slash the tail, but one other tail swiped the blade from his clawed hand.

"Damn it all!" Inuyasha growled when Kim's tail coiled around him even tighter to reassure the fact that he wasn't going anywhere. Inuyasha saw his older brother wiggle free from Kim's tails and crouched down before lunging up at her neck. Sesshomaru placed his giant white paws on her shoulders and latched onto her neck for dear life. Kim let out frustrated snarls and whines as her tails and front paws tried to fight him off, but Sesshomaru's will seemed undefeatable.

"Kagome, wait!" Inuyasha called out. She was just about to fire an arrow, but Inuyasha noticed Kim's movements slowing down and her grip on the half-demon becoming weaker. Inuyasha finally fell from her grasp and landed on his feet deftly. He found his sword and turned around, watching as Sesshomaru finally pinned Kim on the ground, still crushing her neck with his jaws until she finally stopped resisting. Both demons transformed back into their humanoid forms. Kim lay on the ground, her neck bloodied and her eyes twitching as the light hit them. Sesshomaru stood over her and stared down at her.

"Aahhh…fffffff…fuck me!" Kim finally whined as she slowly sat up, rubbing her sore and injured neck.

"Hiiiiiiiickey!" Derek sang as he flew in lazy circles overhead. He felt something pound into his stomach, thinking it was Kim, but as Derek landed, he saw Sesshomaru land next to him.

"You're lucky it was him and not me." Kim stated, finally getting to her feet and shaking off her pain.

"Oh wow." Kagome murmured when she received a cold chill from beside her. She looked over and saw the darkness of the clouds and surrounding demonic aura. She saw Kirara land a few feet away, Sango and Miroku jumping off hurriedly.

"It's Naraku!" Miroku shouted over the howling wind.

"No shit? Really?" Derek and Kim retorted simultaneously as they rolled their eyes.

"We need to come up with a plan," Kagome stated.

"Oh why? It's better that we just run up to that mother and kick him in the face or something." Derek insisted. He felt Kim tap him on the shoulder and point over in the distance where an enormous spider demon stood. Derek quickly clamped his mouth shut.

"Why don't you go kick him in the face, Derek?" Kim suggested humorously.

"Yeah rrrrrrrright!" Derek chuckled as he took a step back.

"So, Derek, Kim, what will you two do now?" Jeff asked. His question caused everyone to glance back at the two demons expectantly. Kim looked at Derek, flashing him her notorious grin of mischief. Derek returned the grin. He knew exactly what was on her mind.

"Come on, Derek…let's do the nasty." Kim finally said with a huff as she began walking away. Derek giggled as he followed her happily.

"Oh great." Jeff groaned. He knew what she meant by "the nasty."

The giant spider hissed as he headed for the village that Kikyo had once resided in. He decided he was going to decimate the town entirely and go on from there. Today was the day that he would use the jewel's full power and eliminate all of his enemies and whoever else stood against his word.

"Hm?" Naraku grunted when he sensed something coming his way. The spider turned and before he had time to even react, he was tackled full-force by the seven-tailed fox, then before he hit the ground, a fully transformed Derek grabbed two of the spider's legs, talons gripping them powerfully as his wings pulled them both straight up in the air. The spider let out a roar as he was dropped from the sky. Kim quickly struck him with one of her tails and then with another, making sure the demon never hit the ground. All seven of Kim's tails finally plowed the giant spider into the ground.

"What are they doing?" Kagome asked as she stood next to Inuyasha as they all watched the playful battle endure.

"They have a plan, I just don't know what. Anyone got popcorn?" Jeff asked humorously.

"Uh oh!" Shippo yelped when he saw the spider latch onto Kim and clamp his fangs into her shoulder. Derek dug his talons into the spider and pulled him off his friend, dropping the spider back onto the ground.

"Look, he's opening up," Sango stated as she leapt onto Kirara, seeing the spider's body opening, almost beckoning them to come on in.

"Yeah, let's go jump inside his body! Great idea everyone!" Jeff shouted sarcastically, but they left him standing by himself, seeing as he wasn't enthusiastic about going.

Sesshomaru took one last glance at Kim, who nodded at him calmly, her seven tails waving and flicking with anticipation. She was showing him that she had his back from the outside. Sesshomaru nodded back before diving into the opening of Naraku's last attempt at killing everyone. Did Sesshomaru find it a good idea to basically step inside Naraku's world where his will was law? No, but Naraku was weak and had no idea who he was messing with.

Kim took a fighting stance as Derek landed next to her, his black wings with gilded feathers spread defensively. The spider closed up and began spitting webs and venom at the eagle and fox demons. Kim spun around and stirred up a gust to blow away most of the projectiles. Derek flapped his wings to help strengthen the wind before flying after the spider. He knew not to hit too hard because his allies were inside, but his attack barely moved the spider demon.

"Damn," Kim snarled through her fangs, her voice rugged and angered. She noticed her vision becoming blurred and her head was spinning. Derek cawed and backed away from Naraku, noticing the seven-tailed fox stumbling slightly and having troubles standing.

"Heh, my venom has become most impressive, hasn't it?" Naraku chuckled to himself when he also noticed the unbalanced and weakened fox. Her tails were now lowered and her head was also lowered. Kim shook her entire body to try and stay awake, but the movement only made her sicker. Suddenly the giant fox collapsed and let out a miserable moan.

Kim finally opened her eyes, noticing that she was transformed back into her humanoid form. She also noticed that her entire body burned and it hurt like a mad bitch. It was torturous.

"It would be wise not to move." Sesshomaru suggested to her.

"I feel like someone beat me with an ugly stick." Kim groaned.

"I thought you were just born that way." Sesshomaru retorted.

"Feeling is mutual, my friend." Kim replied. She let out a slow breath and realized how thirsty she was.

"Water." Kim announced.

"Derek tried to give you water earlier and you spat it in his face and said "Water melts witches, dumb ass." I think I will not give you water." Sesshomaru replied. Kim frowned. She didn't remember any of that, but it definitely sounded like something she would do.

"What happened? Is Naraku dead yet?" Kim quizzed.

"He's been dead for three days now."

"How long have I been here?"

"Three days."

"Fuck. Got any alcohol? I'm sure that doesn't melt witches."

"Derek went to find you something."

"Did anyone die?"

"Naraku."

"Anyone cooler?"

"No."

"Rock on." Kim giggled.

A little while later, Derek finally showed up with some sake. Kim huffed. She wanted something else, but alcohol was alcohol. She sat up and took a sip, soon forgetting that she didn't want it. It tasted damn good. Plus her throat was dry, so the liquid was welcome.

"I was worried about you." Derek said to Kim. She grinned at him and held her fist out to him.

"It's all good now." She said. He nodded and bumped her fist.

"I have a secret," Derek whispered.

"What?" she asked him. He glanced at the resting Sesshomaru cautiously before staring at Kim silently, meaning he didn't want Sesshomaru to hear it.

"English." Kim reminded Derek, who nodded.

"Ok, so, dude, he totally slept with you while you were out," Derek said quickly. Kim immediately spat her drink in his face and coughed, eyes wide with surprise.

"The mother fucker did what?" she asked heatedly. Sesshomaru lifted his head and wondered what Derek had said to make Kim's energy level shoot from one to ten.

"Not like that, not like that!" Derek quickly insisted, getting Kim to calm down a little.

"Then spit it out! What exactly did he do?" Kim snapped. Derek exhaled and calmed himself down first.

"Look, he took care of you the whole time you were sick, dying, whatever, ok? The first night you were shivering and sweating and it was really bad. Really bad, alright? So he…uh…do I have to tell you this? It wasn't bad, I promise." Derek asked, getting a frightening growl and Kim's seven tails sprouting from her as a response.

"Oookay. He took his shirt off, or whatever that is called and he…kept you warm…please don't kill me." Derek pleaded as he shrank from his angered friend.

"What is going on?" Sesshomaru asked, observing Derek's cowardly pose and Kim's aura flaring angrily. Her head snapped his way and her eyes flashed red.

"YOU SLEPT NAKED WITH ME WHILE I WAS DYING? YOU SICK STUPID ASS!" Kim barked loudly and quiet angrily. What surprised Sesshomaru the most was that she wasn't spitting fire at this point.

"I was using my body heat to keep you alive and warm, wench." Sesshomaru replied with slight offense. He noticed Kim's aura calm down significantly as she poured herself another drink. She kept quiet and took a drink. Sesshomaru could tell that she was thankful and disgusted at the same time.

"That's all he did, Kim. It's not like he was feeling all over you or anything." Derek insisted with a nervous laugh.

"Ok then, tell me who changed me out of my clothes and put me in this white robe?" Kim asked sweetly. Her faked calm demeanor made Derek silently say his prayers and make his peace with a god before answering that question.

"Uh," was all he could spit out at that point. His voice was too scared to come out and say who changed her clothes. Derek gulped and took a quick glance at Sesshomaru before looking down and letting out a whimper.

"Sesshomaru, did you change my clothes?" Kim asked boldly.

"You insult my intelligence." Sesshomaru replied coolly.

"I…did it." Derek finally said in a small voice. He looked at Kim, who shrugged and continued drinking.

"Oh, well, I've known you for a long time, I don't care." Kim stated after swallowing the small sip she took. Derek looked at Sesshomaru and shrugged with confusion. As long as she wasn't angry, Sesshomaru didn't care. When she was angry, she was loud and it drove the demon lord insane. These two drove him insane.

"So now that the jewel is gone, how will we get back home?" Derek asked out loud. Kim spit out her drink once more.

"WHAT?" she bellowed with disbelief.

"Kagome made the correct wish and the jewel disappeared, so now it won't cause anymore trouble." Derek explained.

"It's causing trouble by NOT EXISTING! Damn it!" Kim hollered as she threw her cup across the room.

"Do you really want to go back there?" Derek asked Kim.

"Nope. I'm over it." Kim said with a grin.

"What about Jeff?" Derek quizzed.

"What about him? It's all his fault. He can suck it." Kim replied calmly.

"Ah, fun times." Derek chirped. Sesshomaru felt his stomach sink. These two…were stuck in his world…permanently?

"Oh, damn," Sesshomaru muttered under his breath as he rubbed his temples with his hands. He finally looked up and saw both Derek and Kim staring at him, malicious grins set in place.

"Let me tell ya 'bout mah beeest frieeeeeend!" Derek sang.

"Looks like I've got myself a new man-bitch." Kim stated haughtily.

AN- The end. Why? Because I said so. And because it was meant to be a shorter story anyway.


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